Chapter 3. For chapter 1, click here; for chapter 2, click here.

“The main work you have in front of you is working on your own feelings of anxiety. Bring that to Jesus …” Those were the words my wise counselor friend, Travis***, shared with me.

Yes, I was anxious about my new reality; yes, I was feeling very insecure; yes, I was wondering what questions are even okay to ask; how much should I initiate? I was in a bad place trying to navigate this new reality on my own.

Yes, I was praying. But no answers seemed to be forthcoming. Until, I opened up with Travis.

Both Bill and I have known Travis and his wife for several years. We have followed his journey and have always appreciated his wisdom and respected his friendship.

I knew I needed his wisdom. I connected with him via email. His encouraging response was a game-changer for me. He affirmed the plan already set in motion. He offered great hope.

Jesus knows this story and is actively at work.
And here is the best news of all – you simply get to be who you already are.
“You get to keep doing what you are already good at.”

Travis’s words and his wisdom diffused my anxiety. God reminded me …

“Let us know; let us press on to know the LORD;
his going out is sure as the dawn;
he will come to us as the showers,
as the spring rains that water the earth.”
Hosea 6:3

So, what did it look like for me to press on in knowing the Lord in the midst of this circumstance?

My Top Six (in no particular order):

1. Don’t hide. I didn’t share with everyone. But I approached a few trusted friends and asked them to pray along with me.

2. My trusted friend group grew. I shared with a few more. It was good for extrovert me to be able to talk with someone about this. These trusted friends had not had the same experience. That was irrelevant to their willingness to walk with me.

One day I mentioned it in a letter to K who lives in Michigan. She wrote back and shared she had had a similar experience. I had no idea. It is history for her now, but in her story, God met me. I learned new things that is helping me with expectancy. Allow my expectations to morph to expectancy.

3. Timing is important. Travis mentioned some questions I might pose. So far I have not felt the freedom to follow through. But truly it’s a matter of timing, not insecurity.

4. Related to timing is let them lead. Currently I’m not initiating, I’m following.

5. God reminded me of Mary, the mother of Jesus. Her pregnancy could have been a blight on her family, to her fiancee but she didn’t let fear immobilize her. She asked Gabriel questions. She immediately ran to Elizabeth who was also experiencing a miraculous pregnancy. She needed her understanding. I’m thinking Mary was also an extrovert. And even before Jesus was born, Mary was able to praise God for her reality.

6. Counsel with God’s Word, not just my experience. I needed to be reminded of the good news of the gospel in Romans 8. I can KNOW with CERTAINTY …
* When I don’t know how to pray, the Spirit intercedes for me. Verse 26.
* The Spirit’s interceding is always according to God’s will. Verse 27.
* We know that God is at work. Verse 28.
* God is at work in all things. Verse 28.
* God works for good in all things. Verse 28.
* God is working at conforming us to the image of his Son. Verse 29.
* Nothing in all creation can separate us from God’s love. Verses 36, 38, 39.
* We can live as conquerors because of God’s love! Verse 37.

My prayers are growing in courage and hope. My anxiety is dissipating.

What helps you in your unwanted surprises? Could they be a gift?

 

Copyright: Sue Tell, April 2024

*** Travis Stewart, MA, LPC, NCC
travis@wtravisstewart.com
wtravisstewart.com
reflectiveprayer.com

 

 

 

This week’s post is a continuation of Hidden Love.  If you haven’t read it, I encourage you to click on the link and read it first.

Some realities are easy to turn into requests for prayer. My aunt has the flu; my GRAND broke her arm; my friend was recently diagnosed with cancer. These are okay requests. Please pray with me.

A few years ago, my husband was sharing with a Sunday school class about the clinical depression he lived with for a year. Everyone but one had left. The one approached and looked to the left and then to the right. Assured that they were now alone, he asked in a whisper … are you on medication? For that man, his struggle with depression was not a thing to be shared, not okay to ask for prayer. Finally he felt safe to say (whisper) it out loud. The key was hearing another share first.

More recently Bill and I participated on a panel on mental health. The large room was filled with teens and 20-somethings that knew about this reality first hand. They all knew each other. They didn’t know they had common struggles. Just showing up for the panel discussion brought a sense of okay-ness to their reality. They were not the only ones.

Depression, mental health issues … are these prayer requests that are okay to voice? My experience tells me, maybe, maybe not. My friend who counsels those with eating disorders told me, “I have found that people, even professionals, can feel even more intimidated with eating disorders.”

What about eating disorders for me? Or homosexual behavior; or transgender realities? My first reaction … keep this hidden. It is not okay to share this with other praying friends.

I realized I placed a hierarchy on prayer requests. Not all are to be shared. Believing that, leads to isolation and anxiety.

“So we have come to know and to believe
the love God has for us.
God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God,
and God abides in him:”
I John 4:16

God asks, Sue, will you trust my love for you … even in this circumstance … and abide in it?

“The secret is Christ in me,
not me in a different set of circumstances.”
Elisabeth Elliot

The key: abiding in and trusting God’s love for me!

Some realities scare me. They affect relationships. They can lead to shame. Anxiety is real. I prayed alone. It was not okay to share with others. I kept in hidden. Nothing changed in me.

My reality shouted fear, not trust.

“The Lord is at hand. (near)
Have no anxiety about anything,”
Philippians 4:5,6, RSV, parentheses mine

I knew that verse. I wasn’t abiding in and trusting the truth I knew. Have no anxiety wasn’t my reality. And so I was not experiencing the promise offered, “and the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7.

Several years ago, my friend Kara who was struggling with severe breast cancer shared this wisdom with me … Ask, how am I living, not how am I doing?

Her wisdom is changing my okay-ness with what I ask prayer for. Her wisdom still calls me to abide and trust. Her wisdom is calming my anxiety.

To be continued: Next week on Echoes I will share how I’m living in the midst of this new reality. What I’m learning about the okay-ness of sharing, and how it is calming the anxiety. So do come back next Thursday for chapter 3 in my journey.

 

Copyright: Sue Tell, April 2024

 

“A Prayer to Begin the Journey

God may I live within limits, of my body, my mind and my spirit.
God may I live within limits, of my calling, my community, my capacity.
God may I live within limits, of who I am and who you want me to be.
May I learn to live in the place of trust, and wrap my heart around your presence.
May I learn to still my mind and listen, attentive to the quiet whispers of your voice.
May I attune my ears to your words, and savor the sacredness of each moment.
May your ways echo in the depths of my being, so that all I am and all I do, flows from an experience of your love.”
Return to Our Senses: Reimagining How We Pray, Christine Sine

 

“If you are going to enter this divine dance we call prayer, you have to surrender your desire to be in control, to figure out how prayer works. You’ve go to let God take the lead. You have to trust.”
A Praying LIfe, Paul E. Miller

 

“Holy Spirit, open the eyes of my heart to pay attention to the movements you are making in my own soul to clear our what must go for something beautiful to grow. Help me to hold curiosity and worship together. As I meditate on the touch of Jesus draw me into worship. Father, forgive my constant state of hurry. Help me embrace the limits of my time and return time back to you as a gift. Jesus, you are so beautiful. Help me to pay much closer attention to God, my soul, and the people you put into my path today. Amen.”
A Spacious Life, Ashley Hales

 

“Praise is the rehearsal of our eternal song. By grace we learn to sing, and in glory we continue to sing.”
C.H. Spurgeon

 

“God, what does it look like for me to trust You today?”
One of my daily prayers.

 

“… The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”
James 5:16

“I do not cease to give thanks for you,
remembering you in my prayers,”
Ephesians 1:16

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I will never experience Resurrection Joy until I die to the fact that I can grasp it intellectually.
I cannot.

With my head, I’ll not comprehend it. Only in trusting is Resurrection Joy reality.

Joy was the topic for the one day women’s event “Refresh” at our church. After Lisa kicked off the day with a message on joy, the women chose three different workshops to attend on the topic. I had been asked how I experience joy and to lead one of the workshops.

I struggled. I’m embarrassed. Really should it be that hard??? Where do I find joy? What should my joy topic be?

I do experience joy in my friendship with God, in spending time with Him. But would that be scratching where the ladies are itching? Possibly, yes … but I was feeling insecure.***

A few weeks later, I sent an affirmation text to a friend I had recently visited. Her spiritual growth had been delightfully obvious. I wanted her to know I noticed.

She responded, “Thank you Sue!! I am definitely a VERY different person from a decade ago. (And I sure like it! :-))”

Her response was an affirmation to me. I too am finding great joy in who God created me to be. Okay, I admit, I’m in my 70’s. Why did it take me so long to rest in this joy?

Finding joy in God’s creation of me, of you. That would have been my joy topic. And I bet it would have scratched where many itch.

My friend’s response, and my acknowledgement is not pride, it’s humility. Being who we were did not result from years of self-effort or ladder climbing. It was acknowledging and trusting God’s resurrection power in our live. There is great joy in recognizing and living out who God created us to be. Allow trust to lead to joy. My heart is to spread this gospel joy.

“I have been crucified with Christ.
It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.
And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God,
who loved me and gave himself for me.”
Galatians 2:20

“… you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
… my soul knows it very well.”
Psalm 139:13, 14

“Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord.
To write the same things to you is not trouble to me
and is safe for you.”
Philippians 3:1 (italics mine)

* The Pasqueflower is usually the first perennial of the season to bloom, often around Easter. The word pasque derives from the French, paschal which means Easter. It’s purple signifying dignity, grace, nobility, rebirth, renewal. This photo was snapped by my friend Linda Blanch.

*** This ended up being a moot question. Bill and I were out of town and I was not able to attend.

Copyright: Sue Tell, March 2024

Cross-Shaped Love has dominated my thoughts this Easter as once again I’ve been pondering the Resurrection

I have been overwhelmed by the”breadth and length and height and depth” (Ephesians 3:18) and God’s amazing creativity and ability to communicate his love to me.

Knowing intellectually about God’s love is important.  Experiencing God’s love personally makes it real. But to cement his love in my heart, I need to remember.

The cross, the resurrection, and Peter, Mary, and Thomas who were there that first Easter help me remember.

I need to remember Peter who knew God’s love; he experienced it first hand as he walked with Jesus; but, like me, sometimes he forgot.

God is omniscient and he knows faith is fragile. In his love, he says to Peter, “I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail.” (Luke 22:32) Peter was about to walk into the biggest test of his faith yet. God knew, Peter didn’t.

In a way I’m like Peter; in a way I’m not. Like for Peter, God knows what is ahead for me, I don’t. I find great comfort in the truth that the Spirit is praying for me too in my fragile faith. (Romans 8:26)

Initially Peter denied that his faith would fail. His relationship with Jesus was tight; wouldn’t that stand the test of the trial? “Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death.” (Luke 22:33)

How would you respond if you heard God saying he was going to be praying for you that your faith would not fail? I think I would know that I needed that prayer. God’s love for Peter and for me is evident in his prayers.

I know the message of Jeremiah 31:3, “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” I need to experience it and I need to remember the experience especially when like Peter my faith fails.

I need to remember Mary Magdalene. She stood outside the empty tomb crying, and through her tears didn’t recognize Jesus standing right by her; she assumed he was the gardener. Gently Jesus initiates toward her, “Mary”. He called her by name and she recognized him. (John 20:11-16)

How many times in the presence of my tears do I not recognize Jesus standing right by me?

I’ve memorized I John 3:1, “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.” I know the truth of these words and I want to experience and remember the Father calling me by name every day.

I need to remember the story of Thomas, one of the twelve, encourages me. He knew Jesus; he had traveled with Jesus; he was a personal witness to his many miracles. But he struggled with the Resurrection. “Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails … I will never believe.” (John 20:25)

Jesus, in his great love for Thomas, knew and met him on his turf inviting him to touch him; and again with gentle words, “Do not disbelieve, but believe.” (John 20:27)

He desired Thomas to not only have a memory of knowing him, he wanted him to again experience his presence, and be reminded of his love.

God desires that I know his love,
that I experience his love,
and that I remember his love.

As Lent draws to a close and Resurrection Sunday is upon us, our church family will celebrate communion together Friday evening, Good Friday. And in the very real grief of Jesus’ death on the cross, there is also the reminder of the hope of Easter. Jesus’ cross-shaped love is as real for me, for us, as it was for Peter, for Mary, and for Thomas.

“Do this in remembrance of me.”
Luke 22:19 (italics mine)

Blessings to you as you celebrate Easter,
Sue

 

Copyright: Sue Tell, originally April 2019

 

 

 

I was caught up short, convicted. Is it really my story? Is it really your story? Or is it Jesus’s story?

“You yourselves bear me witness, that I said,
‘I am not the Christ, but I have been sent before him.’
The one who was the bride is the bridegroom.
The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him,
rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice.
Therefore this joy of mine is now complete.”
John 3:28, 29 (bolding mine)

John the Baptist understood his purpose. The above words are his response to his disciple’s worrisome observation about all the people going to Jesus for baptism.

John knew his story. He embraced his purpose. His story was really Jesus’s story.

“It’s like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story.” Patrick Rothfuss, author.

As a believer, my story … your story should be about Jesus. As image bearers, we should be reflecting Jesus; we should be reflecting truth, reflecting the glory of God.

John used the illustration of the bridegroom and the one who stands with the bridegroom (the best man, in our modern understanding). The best man hears the bridegroom’s voice, I do. He hears the promise; and he rejoices WITH the bridegroom.

Not only does he recognize the joy of the bridegroom, his joy is also now complete.

Is that what my story sounds like?
Is my story telling Jesus’s story?
I am experiencing joy in my story?

And that’s where my journals come in. Have I told you about my journals? They are an integral part of my devotional time.

Yup, I regularly keep two journals. The spiral bound one with the picture of the bird will get used up in about six months. This journal records my miscellaneous thoughts. Some of those thoughts will journey into this blog some day (see the colored tabs).

The other is my leather journal, my scripture journal, my prayer journal, my most important journal. This is the journal where I make space for God and I hear his voice. This is the journal that offers God’s perspective. It gets used, not used up.

This journal turns my story into Jesus’s story.

It’s divided into sections, each containing scriptures that lead my prayer life: my identity, my purpose, the lies I tend to believe and God’s truth, the scriptures I pray for my husband, our sons and their wives, our GRANDS.

“… Therefore this joy of mine is now complete.
He must increase, but I must decrease.”
John 3: 29, 30

 

Copyright: Sue Tell, March 2024

 

 

 

 

Life is hard. Sicknesses. Physical ailments. Relational disruptions. Death. Emotional distances. Losses abounding. Sufferings all around. Faith tested.

God’s love seems to be hiding … at least from my human perspective.

The camper was hooked to our car. Our two young GRANDS were safely strapped in their car-seats. We were on our way to Mueller State Park and their first camping experience. Just before our last turn to the left, the road was blocked. The police informed us that a semi truck had turned over and was blocking the entrance to the park. Our camping trip was over before it started.

Three year old Jack querried , Does God know about the truck? Does God know it’s blocking where we want to go?

Isn’t that the question we’re all tempted to ask? Does God know? God, where are you?

“Abba” is the Aramaic word for Father. It was the everyday language that Jesus uses. It conveys the idea of authority and the intimacy of a loving Father’s care. (ESV study Bible, Matthew 6:9) It’s how Jesus came to God in the Garden of Gethsemane. “And he (Jesus) said, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”
Mark 14:36.

 

Earlier this spring I found myself crying Abba Father, take this cup from me. God, do you know? Your love seems hidden.

I knew the answer. God knows.

This new hard wasn’t a blip on the radar of God’s love.

This new hard was an invitation to pray.
This new hard was an invitation to trust.

At first, my prayers centered around the new hard, my current blip, take this cup. At first they didn’t move me to the yet not what I will.

It was the yet not I (in some versions, nevertheless) that drew me back to God. It was trusting the truth of his Word that brought the peace and calmed my heart.

God was not hiding!

Trust unlocks love.

My prayers changed. God’s Word tells me that his love is steadfast. My question changed. God, what would it look like for me to trust what your Word says today; trust in the midst of this new hard. I want to experience your love. Amen.

My new hard is still hard. I continue to pray that God will take this cup away. And I will continue to remind myself to trust his love even in the midst. Trusting his love looks different each day.

 

These words, these truths and the rest of Psalm 121 are anchoring my trust.
“My help comes from the LORD,” (verse 2)

Love is not hiding. God is not hiding.

 

 

 

 

Copyright: Sue Tell, March 2024

 

These pre-schoolers are demonstrating my dancing skills. The last time Bill and I danced together — well except square dancing — was at our wedding.

I am not musical!
I can’t carry a tune.
I don’t stay on key (whatever that means).
And Bill claims he’s not musical either. Hmmmm!

And therein is the problem.

“He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the LORD.”
Psalm 40:3

My heart’s desire is that God uses me to introduce others to him — for my friends to put their trust in the Lord. But if it depend on my song? YIKES!

“It is clear to us, friends,
that God not only loves you very much
but also
has put his hand on you for something special …
Something happened in you …
Your lives are echoing the Master’s Word, …
you’re the message!”
I Thessalonians 1:4-9, The Message rendition, bolding mine

It’s not about my musical ability, singing or dancing. It’s not about what I cannot do.
It’s about who I am, who God created me to be. It’s about the heart he gave me and the desires he birthed in me. It’s about what God can do.

God will take his work of art (me) and allow it to bless others (you) — even if I’m not musical!

Dietrich Bonhoeffer in his book, LIfe Together, encouraged me. “Speak to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs” (Ephesians 5:19). Our song on earth is speech. It is the sung Word.” page 59.

Will I let go of my understanding of the “song” God gave me?
Will I say, like Mary, “Let it be to me”? Will I embrace the “song” he did give me?

“Praise the LORD!
Sing to the LORD a new song,
his praise in the assembly of the godly!
Let Israel be glad in his Maker;
let the children of Zion rejoice in their King?
Let them praise his name with dancing,
making melody to him with tambourine and lyre!
For the LORD takes pleasure in his people;
he adorns the humble with salvation.”
Psalm 149:1-4, bolding mine

“Just keep dancing!” were the words the elderly couple shared with the newly weds at their wedding. So much wisdom. Thank you to Katie for sharing her story and prompting these thoughts.

How do you see God taking pleasure in you?

Copyright: Sue Tell, February 2024

 

 

 

I’m starting a new practice on Echoes of Grace. Every so often I plan to share three quotes that have ministered to my heart without explanation. My prayer is that you too will hear from God in these words. And please comment. Allow your thoughts to minister to others.

 

 

Charles Haddon Spurgeon

 

“Only when you know yourself as unconditionally loved — that is, fully received — by God can you give gratuitously. … When you know yourself as fully loved, you will be able go give according to the other’s capacity to receive, and you will be able to receive according to the other’s capacity to give.”  Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Inner Voice of Love, pages 65,66.

 

“Though still insufficient as an illustration, I picture this access as akin to receiving an invitation to dinner at the White House. You can’t get in unless you’ve been granted an invitation. You must access that invitation by receiving it, opening it, RSVPing for it. But once you accept the invitation and show up for dinner, you don’t need to continually flash your invitation; you’ve gained access, and your place is secure.” Ruth Chou Simons, When Strivings Cease, page 134.

 

“But to all who did receive him,
who believed in his name,
he gave the right to become children of God,”
John 1:12

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FMA,
Sue

 

 

 

A small group of friends were together one evening enjoying friendship and conversation. We know each other fairly well and so decided to share an affirmation exercise. We drew one name out of a hat and she was chosen. Then each of us in turn made eye contact with her and shared what we observed and appreciated about how God created her. We all had stories to back up what we shared. Once in a while she broke eye contact.

Affirmation is sometimes hard to receive.

Another friend spent an evening at an art gallery with her friends creating this lovely welcome sign for their new home. She posted this picture on Facebook. Didn’t she do a great job?! I could respond and say, Janet, this is beautiful. I love how you integrated the dragonflies with the foliage. Or I could say, Janet, I love how God created you with the eye of an artist, an eye for beauty, an eye for color. And I love your heart for sharing it with others. It shows not only in your painting, I also see it in your writing.

My first response was a compliment. The second an affirmation.

A compliment is a polite expression noticing what someone has done. It highlights their work.
An affirmation acknowledges the source of their doings. It calls out God’s work in their lives.

Compliments seem to be more common in our culture than affirmations. I want my compliments to be ensconced in affirmations. Do you remember my word for 2024? Click here.

In life, we almost naturally live out who God created us to be. Others notice the applications of our identity and often compliment it. I’m challenged to consider where those applications originated and acknowledge it.

Affirmations are often harder to accept than compliments. We don’t know what to do with them. Or we down-play their significance. In the past, several times I’ve been affirmed on my gift of hospitality. For many years, my response was, Oh that’s easy. I like hospitality. To me, other things were important, hospitality was not. I didn’t accept that hospitality was one of the ways God created me.

A few friends have noted that I am wise. Really??? Wisdom does have a higher ranking in my human mind than hospitality. But I still had a hard time believing it.

So how do I respond?

It leads me to dependence, to prayer.
God, how can I continue to mature into who you created me to be. Amen.
Affirmations never lead to pride; they lead to humility, recognizing God’s work.

Could it be that the affirmations of another are God’s messages to me?
Could it be that their words are something I need to trust, to develop, to grow into?

If another doesn’t know how to respond to affirmations, does that mean that I stop giving them?
BY NO MEANS, to quote Paul in his letter to the Romans. I do need to back up my affirmations with stories. Affirmations are not empty words. Affirmations are transformational. Affirmations invite me to join God in noticing his creation of my friends.

My responsibility is not their response.
My responsibility is to continue to develop as an affirming person.

 

Copyright: Sue Tell, February 2024