God continues to clarify for me how he defines pulling-back. Sometimes it relates to meddling. Hmmmmmm, I don’t like that.
“But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer
or as a meddler.”
I Peter 4:15 (underline mine)
I forced myself to ask, why is a meddler mentioned along with those other really bad things?
Dictionary.com defines meddler as involving oneself in a matter without invitation.
The Cambridge-English dictionary says to try to have an influence on things that are not your responsibility.
Thank you to my friend Amy, my who shared with me, I often want to use my gift of discernment to “share” with my husband “insight” I think he needs to lead others. But my sinful flesh has definitely gotten mixed in with that insight. These areas are not my responsibility. I had been meddling.
I began to see the connection between pulling-back and meddling. Sometimes they are the same thing; sometimes they are not.
Allie* is going through a horrendous divorce. She is not my responsibility, but she is a friend and I do have an invitation. I am not pulling-back, I am reaching out.
Bill and I are leading a sabbatical team for Jay* and Carrie*. Our role is to ask questions that allow them to discern what they are hearing from God as opposed to giving advice or offering words to direct them. I am not pulling-back from questions; I am pulling-back from advice.
In our Sunday School community, I serve as one of the shepherds, being a friend to some of the women. I initiate; I listen; I pray. But I don’t carry responsibilities for other parts of our community. That’s where I’m learning to pull-back. They don’t need all my wonderful ideas! “It is soooooo much easier to give advice, and even think it is wanted!” Bulls-eye, Marion.
Then there are our GRANDS. Often I (we) need to discern where our participation is welcome and where do we need to pull-back.
My dear friend April shared her insight. When I am inserting myself into someone else’s place, I’m assuming someone else’s responsibility and missing my “good work”. All good things are not MY good things.
And the applications of pulling-back continue in little decisions and big ones.
If I don’t pull-back, my time, capacity, and energy to give myself to God’s purposes for me are in jeopardy.
Back to Jonah … Jonah pulled back from what God asked him to do with dire consequences. Check out chapter 1. I heard the question from God, is there something God is asking of me and I’m pulling back?
I knew the answer right away. YES!
But I needed to pull-back, in some ares to cease meddling. This is offering me the freedom, the capacity, the energy I need to follow God’s purposes, his good work for me.
The very next verse in I Peter 4 gives the alternative to meddling, “but let him glorify God”. That’s my heart.
Am I making sense?
Thanks Linus, I think!?!
*not the real name.
Copyright, Sue Tell, February 2021
Sue, I am in the midst right now of a situation that is messy and seems to be getting worse because I meddled. Ugh! Thanks for sharing these truths. I have hope and humble direction.
Your thoughts about responsibility and pulling back also reminded me of what a close friend and I often remind one another (not sure who originally coined this)~ “Not my circus, not my monkey!” It may be only one of those! Both or neither!
I was also reminded of a special verse God opened my eyes and heart to early on after becoming staff with the same mission organization that you are a part of. It’s Col 1: 25. An often overlooked verse. To me it was a warning against comparison. Other staff women seemed more godly and capable and dedicated. I felt out of my league.
“Of this church…” ~ this ministry or Bible study or…
“I was made…” ~ chosen, created by God to do so
“a minister…” ~ a servant, doulas
“according to the stewardship from God…” ~ I’ve been entrusted by God to do this
“bestowed on me…” ~ He’s asking me to do this, giving me this opportunity
“for your benefit…” ~ He will bless others through me
“that I might fully carry out…” ~ He will enable me by His grace and help
“the preaching of the Word of God…” ~ I am to seek to be faithful to His word, to abide in it, to seek to study to show myself approved by Him to rightly handle it.
Like Jonah, I often wanted to run away or suggest to Him someone else better qualified!
Theresa,
So good to hear from you.
Col 1:25 is one of the verses God has given me as well. I have it memorized in a different version. Interesting I have not thought of it in the context of comparison. You are so right. Hmmm, I’ve just been writing on comparison for a class I’m taking. God is at work. Thank you.
What has stood out mostly is the stewardship I’ve been given … “to me – for you”.
Thank you for you transparency. I’ll pray for your situation. FMA, sue