There are people who can’t like you. It’s ok. It’s painful, yes. But, you can still like yourself. You can still BE yourself.

It will feel awkward. You’ll sense the need to change something about yourself or fix something in the other person’s story so that you fit better in their narrative.

But changing to fit in is not the same thing as growing up into all that God says is already true about you. The first is bondage. The second is freedom.

Bondage offers acceptance for the price of pleasing people. But, acceptance comes in freedom, not bondage. The price has already been paid. 

Our part is trusting the One who paid our ransom.

Those of us who have lived a long time in codependency have a real struggle walking without the limp of conformity. We’re very accustomed to morphing ourselves into many odd shapes…

simply to make sure we don’t have any boundaries that may cause anyone else to be uncomfortable.

One day we realize–
there will be plenty of things
that need to be changed
on the trusting God road,
but the ME He says
I am
has already been changed…
in my DNA. 

The change already happened the moment I trusted Jesus.

Now my mind gets to be renewed instead of being conformed.

When we discover this truth, we will feel like we need to be right in all the ways of defending our boundaries. 

We may even start building a fortress of new knowledge about the theology of the new covenant. 

It feels good to be right.
It feels safe to have an answer,
especially when it feels odd
not to conform.

But surviving in a world that requires you to be codependent requires you to live without love. 

Every time you conform for the sake of acceptance, your pretending gets all the attention. 

Your conformity gets all the applause. 

The mask you put on
to disguise who you really are
to avoid rejection
gets all the approval. 

And, being the fittest in a game of survival may win you the award for being the smartest, but knowledge alone…is lonely.

One day you may discover
you have pitched your tent
in a dry and weary land
in all the ways you’ve said,
“I’m fine.”
“I’m good.”
“It doesn’t matter.”

Or you find yourself hidden
behind stacks and stacks
of books and good answers,
without anyone to listen.

Don’t despair. Me, too. 

The world is very convincing.
Being right seems right.
The tree of good,
instead of evil,
has confused us
since the beginning.

If these words resonate with you, simply begin again. You don’t have to start over, you just get to step back onto the trusting God road where you left off. 

Let God remind you who He is and who you are. Let Him hold your hand long enough to rely on His love, instead of your limp of codependency.

I’ll be moving slow on this journey, too. Together, there is great hope.