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I’m excited to share with you a devotional my good friend Kirstin Newmaster wrote and shared at a women’s retreat.

 

I sent it ahead to a few friends to whet your appetite. First, their words.

 

 

“Kirstin’s words on confession were so powerful! In her brief talk she presented the need and benefits of confessing our sins to one another, using clear scriptural teaching and even a fun illustration, to encourage us to shine a light on the sin that we struggle with as we relate to one another. I found her words refreshing and freeing as I look at my own need to walk in the light.”
Carolyn Eden

“I very much appreciated the insights Kirstin shared regarding confession and our identity. Rather than viewing Christian maturity as being in control of my sin, Kirstin, explains that as a misunderstanding of maturity: it is not self-effort, rather sooner and sooner bringing my yuck into the light that is a mark of maturing spiritually. And, love is the marker of my growth.”
Diane McIntyre

“Kirstin offers a compelling reminder of the power of living in the light of Jesus with safe, trusted others. She doesn’t shy away from James’ insistent words regarding our need to confess our sins to one another, and gives us hope that it actually leads to our maturing and increases our love for one another. You may even want to read it more than once.”  Kathy Lorimor

When Kirstin shared her words with me, I knew I wanted to share them with you. Thank you Kirstin for generously granting permission.

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Confession
Kirstin’s title
“Confess to one another that you may be healed.” James 5:16

I love this theme of “one another.” The phrase “one another” is used 100 times in the New Testament? God cares deeply about how we relate with each other!

Last night you looked at sharpening one another and the role that conflict plays in relationships. Conflict can destroy or perfect. Let’s not waste the opportunity to be impacted by and influence each other.

Today we’re going to look at confessing to one another. This is an act of bringing my yucky out into the light. And it’s not a one time deal. It’s something we’re going to do over and over in our lives.

To talk about confession, we’re going to talk about this concept of light. Living in the light. I want to show you a clip showing one creature’s response to light.

https://www.tiktok.com/@m.tothea.d.i/video/7050348443885194497

When I was a kid, I used to love making my dog chase the flashlight on the wall. It was hilarious! The dog never was going to catch the light. But did that stop the dog? Nope. The light just drove it crazy!!! It wanted to be in the light as much as possible. Usually he was trying to eat it.

I was going to show you a video of what a cockroach does when you turn the light on, but cockroaches give me the heebie jeebies. Suffice it to say, cockroaches are nocturnal so you turn a light on and they go running for the dark!

Which are you attracted to: darkness, or light?

Let’s look at 3 passages of scripture. One at the beginning of the Bible; one kind of in the middle, and one toward the end. Let’s start at the end.

1 John 1:5 says “God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.”

There is no hiding for God. When something is in the light, it can be seen. It can be known.

In the first chapter of the Bible, light is the first thing God creates. It’s the first thing that God calls “good.” Then He created people in His image. Part of the implications of that is that we are made to thrive in the light. Especially community. Our relationships are made to thrive when we are honest & known.

I see this both in 1 John and Genesis. 1 John 1:7 says our fellowship is directly related to being honest and known: “If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.”

In Genesis 2:25 we see a relationship that’s in the light. Adam and Eve were both naked and unashamed, kind of like that baby in the video. Oh how I long for the freedom to be unashamed like that. That’s how we were made to be. Seen and unashamed. Known and loved. I ache for that, to be fully known and fully loved. But what happened? Sin came into the picture and ruined their experience of the light. It drives to hiding. Hiding happened when they first experienced shame — the concept that something is bad about me and I need to hide. If it was known, I would not be loved.

And John 3 makes a really devastating observation. “and this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil.” v. 19

We prefer to hide and wallow in our sin. That is always driven by shame and sometimes by fear.

What keeps me hiding in the darkness?

1. If I was known, I wouldn’t be loved.
2. I should be in control of my sin.
3. My sin is tied to who I am.

These lies are a misunderstanding of what defines my identity and maturity.

IDENTITY – In order to confess my sin and bring it to the light, I need to know, deep down, that my behavior no longer defines who I am. That’s why in the same chapter Jesus says, “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned.” John 3:17,18

Condemnation is to have my identity based on what I do or don’t do. In general that’s how the world works! Someone who steals is identified as a thief. Someone who teaches is identified as a teacher. Someone who fails is now a failure. But in Jesus, our behavior is no longer evidence of our identity. This is a big deal! This really matters when it comes to dealing with our sin, bringing it to the light so that we can experience the healing, fellowship, and goodness that God says the light is!

Who does God say you are? A SAINT! He says you are righteous. He says you are precious and with great value.

This is your evidence for who you are, not your sins. Sin is evidence that you’re human, that you need others. It’s an opportunity for you to experience love through humility and trust.

HUMILITY – As I believe this concept that my sins no longer define who I am, I will begin to trust God and others with me. That is a really good definition of humility, trusting God and others with me. And as I believe that my sin no longer defines me, it will free me to admit it to God and others sooner and sooner when I am tempted.

Confession is an act of humility. It is trusting who I really am on the inside and what I am tempted to believe about myself with another and with God. When I bring even my yuck to the light, that’s confession.

James 5:16 says what to expect when we confess, “Confess your sins to one another and pray for each other that you may be healed.”

Sin is a damaging force. It requires healing! When I confess sins I’ve done or want to do I am opening myself up to you, trusting you, so you can know me,  love me, and help me heal. You can pray for me. You can help me identify the shame that is triggered in me that gives me permission to sin, because that shame is what I really need healing from.

So, that knocks off that lie that my sin is connected to who I am. But there’s also this lie that I should be in control of my sin by now. And that’s a misunderstanding of maturity.

Typically a misunderstanding of the verse in 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

Self-effort is NEVER the way of escape. You know what is? Confession. Choosing – at any point in the shame cycle – to shine light on it.

MATURITY – What if sinning less wasn’t a marker of my spiritual maturity? What if confessing it sooner is? Sin isn’t a three step process. I typically think of sin as “temptation, sin, repentance.” But it’s a whole lot more complicated.

First it starts to grow as an option in your mind. Then it starts to feed into your shame, lies about who you are. It starts to promise good for you, that it would offer a solution for your shame.

But after the sin act you start to feel the need to hide, to justify, to blame. Ultimately it reinforces the lie you were believing to be true about yourself.

So if we don’t deal with the shame and the lie I am believing, the sin keeps coming up over and over. It’s so hard to repent of habitual sin. We think, “I’ve already dealt with this! Have I not grown at all? I must really be _______.” That’s why self-effort is not the way of escape. It only reinforces our shame story.

But God doesn’t say that the marker of maturity is sinlessness. “By this all men will know you are my disciples – by how you love one another.” John 13:35.

Love is the marker of my growth, not sinning less. So if instead of fearing confessing sin once again, I celebrated every time I brought sin to the light one step sooner than last time. Because that act of humility, trusting someone else with me, is an act of love. An act of maturity.

When you think of maturity, think of the sound  of clicking on a flashlight. Let it remind you of humility, confessing shame, confessing sin. Choosing to click on the light is not marker that I’m  messed up and struggling once again — it’s a marker that I’m growing! I’m choosing to come into the light ASAP! Celebrate that.

Remember those three lies that were keeping me in the darkness:

1. If I was known, I wouldn’t be loved. 1 John 1:7 – Fellowship happens in the light – you cannot be loved without being known.
2. I should be in control of my sin. John 13:35 When you think you are in control of your sin, sin is in control of you. Maturity isn’t sinning less but loving more.
3. My sin is tied to who I am. John 3:17 No condemnation in Jesus! Sin is not the evidence God looks at to define you.

What are you going to find when you turn on the light? 1 John 1:7 says you will find healing and love.

What does this look like for you? What do you fear you will find when you turn this light on and  tell someone the truth about you? Possibly it is one of the three things I mentioned.

When you click on this light, what comes to mind? Is there a sin you need to shine light on? A lie you are believing?

Flashlight verses:

James 5:16

1 John 1:7

John 13:35

I encourage you — find someone you trust and practice clicking this light on. Share a sin that you struggle with. Ask them to pray for you and to help you identify what it is about yourself that you are believing, that is triggering this sin.

Remember, confessing our sins is not a step back in your maturity, it is a step forward. Even if you’ve confessed this sin before. Because choosing to trust and be known is an act of humility and love.

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What thoughts are swirling in your mind? For those who share in the comments, I’m sending you a little flashlight. We all need reminders.

Have you signed up to follow Echoes of Grace? Those who sign up receive an email from me a few days after the posts usually taking the subject a bit deeper. This week I’m sharing how Kirstin’s words ministered personally to me.

Sue

Copyright: Kirstin Newmaster and Sue Tell, April 2023