The phone call came, a year ago, as Bill and I were driving west for a week of vacation in Utah. It was Sunday. My sister had taken Mom to the ER, her third trip to the hospital in four months.

It never occurred to me that they would install a pacemaker.
It never occurred to me that Mom would not recover.
It never occurred to me that we would bring Mom home to Hospice.
It never occurred to me that Mom would experience heaven in less than two weeks.

We continued on.

Los Vados, our vacation destination, is tucked in a beautiful canyon near Moab. This lovely home has beckoned us back many years to enjoy the desert quiet, the solitude, the remote location, and the swimming pool. Up the hill from the deck is the one place we are able to get a cell connection. I walked up that hill many times Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday as my sisters kept me up to date with Mom in New Jersey. Late Tuesday afternoon, we decided to abort vacation and I headed east.

These last few weeks I’ve been remembering, re-living, grieving, and going through not a few tissues. One year ago today _____, one year ago today _____.

And in the midst, I’m thankful.

Mom is in heaven free of those earth-bound realities that so frustrated her 97 year old body.

I’m thankful for the heritage of values that Mom left for me. The values of presence, of family, of hospitality, of faith, of honoring, of creativity, of hard work, and more were all woven into the fabric of her being.

“She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;”
Proverbs 31:27, 28a

Although I live those values differently, Mom planted the seeds and faithfully watered those values. They took root in my life.

Perhaps the value seed I’m most thankful for is the unique seed of release and support. Mom, and Dad too, knew how to release their daughters, to give us wings, to allow us to become.

But as they released, they continued to support. Mom was always interested in my family. What were the boys doing; how were the boys doing? And as our boys grew and married and had families of their own, I could always count on Mom to listen to all my gramma stories. Even into her 90’s she welcomed her grandchildren and great-grandchildren into her home.

As I remember back one year, I’m also more deeply thankful for my three sisters.

 

Our relationship changed this past year. We’ve walked through the valley of the reality of death together. At times it’s been hard. But it has also opened new doors among us. I’m appreciating each of them in new ways. I’ve experienced strengths that covered for my weaknesses. I see those value seeds that Mom planted alive in them as well, blooming differently than mine, but blooming complimenting their own unique designs.

Mom ended her life well. I think Mom would say, mission accomplished. She left each of us a giant gift, a picture of her love. Thank you Mom! I love you.

 

“Tell your children of it,
and let your children tell their children,
and their children to another generation.”
Joel 1:3