My friend Ashley pointed me to Philemon in early August and I’ve been captivated by God’s wisdom through Paul in this short letter ever since. My ESV and NLT Bibles together have led me on a journey.

Paul’s letter to Philemon, his family, and the church that meets in their home is motivated by a request, a hard request. Really an invitation to live out the theology they have embraced.

I think I know the memories and the emotions that Paul’s request aroused.

 

 

The letter asks Philemon, his family and church to live out forgiveness.

FORGIVENESS!!!

That’s a big ask.

“And I am praying, that you will put into action
the generosity that comes from your faith
as you understand and experience
all the good thing we have in Christ Jesus.”
Philemon 6, NLT

Paul’s request is couched in affirmations.

I am praying … Paul is not assuming.
He is asking God to lead.
He is trusting his friends to hear from God.
He is trusting their mature faith.
the generosity … Paul knows this is no small request.
generosity that comes from their faith … This is not a people-pleasing request.
Again, he is acknowledging the maturity of their faith.
put into action … Paul is trusting their theology will lead to application.
as you understand & experience … understanding leads to theology
experience leads to trust
all the good things we have in Christ Jesus … Paul offers a framework.
He asks them to consider Jesus.
He points them to the power to obey.

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones…
if one has a complaint against another,
forgiving each other;
as the Lord has forgiven you …”
Colossians 3:12 & 13, ESV

Their emotions may still have been raw. I’m sure they hadn’t forgotten.

Paul is praying that they will not respond according to their emotions, rather according to putting their theology into action.

A few sentences later toward the end of his letter, Paul adds this affirmation,

“I am confident as I write this letter,
that you will do even more.”
Philemon 21, NLT

It’s been many, many years. I still remember. Forgiveness had been offered and received. I practiced what my theology required. But the obedience of forgiveness doesn’t cancel memory.

That’s okay. When something triggers memory, I have the truth of forgiveness counseling my heart. The memory is real. So is the truth of forgiveness.

“… forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
Luke 6:37, ESV

God is trusting me that I’ll allow the memory to lead me to practice the truth of forgiveness, again.

Because we live across the US from each other, we rarely cross paths. That was about to change.

Because of a mutual friend, we were going to be in the same place, at the same time, in the same room.

Like for Philemon, the forgiven person was long-distance. And Paul is asking Philemon to close the gap … to welcome the person (Onesimus) face to face. There was a choice.

I too had a choice. I could avoid the face to face meeting. Honestly, that was my desire.

But was that putting my theology into action?
Was that remembering what Christ had done for me?

I chose to be present.
I chose to trust.

Zooming out a little more on Paul’s letter, there are two sets of bookends surrounding his request. One is in the word, refresh. Paul notes in verse 7, that the “hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you.” The you is Philemon. Verse 20 asks, “Refresh my heart in Christ.” The my is Paul.

“… those who refresh others
will themselves be refreshed.”
Proverbs 11:25, NLT

The second bookend is the grace of God. Paul begins his letter offering the grace of God. Philemon 3. His very last words highlight grace as well. Philemon 25.

God’s grace is the fuel that will lead Philemon’s response.

“… My grace is sufficient for you,
for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
II Corinthians 12:9, ESV

As I drove away that afternoon in Colorado rush hour traffic, my heart was at peace; truly my heart was refreshed. God’s grace was sufficient.

No wonder, Paul’s letter to Philemon captivated me.

Copyright, Sue Tell, September 2025

I’ve shared the backstory in the book, Praying Through Loneliness, compiled by Kristen Strong.