“The closer you are to God,
the closer you become to your friends.”
Sinclair Ferguson

That is my experience.

Bill and I have been part of a couple’s group for almost 25 years. The four other couples have become great friends!

I started writing these words in Moab where 8 of the 10 of us were enjoying the great views and amazing hikes in Arches National Park. Bill, Ed, and I hiked a circle that took us to and through Broken Arch. For me, it was harder than anticipated. Several times I sat and scooted down or up the rock faces. (I may be smiling in the picture, but it was a scary scoot for me.) Even the guys sat and scooted up this one! It was more challenging than the picture communicates! But, I’m writing about it.

Friendship magnifies when it includes creating memories with others. This trip to Moab is a great memory. But friendship includes other ingredients as well – in no particular order …

Trust. On that hike, God called on me to trust the words, the patience, and the hands of the guys to help me navigate the landscape. I’m glad to be sharing the experience with you.

Often I call on my friends trusting them with my responses and emotions to life experiences. I need their love, their wisdom, and their care.

Fun, Tears, and Coffee. Yes, they go together. Colorado Springs abounds with coffee shops. Marcy and I decided to try a different one each month. FUN! We’d order our coffee and find a quiet corner to catch up. Life is hard. Often catching up included tears.

Transparency and Vulnerability. They are not the same. I control how transparent I am. I decide how much I will trust others. Vulnerability invites. Vulnerability says, I want to be known. Vulnerability releases my fears. Please ask. I’ve experienced the questions of others often lead to my ah-has. In the telling, I breathe easier; I find perspective; next steps clarify. Friendships deepen when vulnerability defines them.

Lean in and Listen. Carla was younger than me. She noticed the tissue I pressed to my eyes that evening as the meeting ended. She risked. She didn’t shrink back. She walked with me back to our hotel room. She listened. I remember no words. I remember her presence. She was a gift to me that night. Her presence still tutors me.

Affirming the Image of God in my Friends. Letting my friend know I see them. I see their gifts. I see who God created them to be. Friends tell friends what they see. “Friendship at the soul level should be spoken.” Stephen Smith.

Knowing my Lane. I’m not a counselor. I haven’t experienced her reality. I don’t have the answers she needs. I can’t fix it! But I can be a friend by allowing her to lead the conversation.

I have friends who are professional counselors. I’m so thankful for the gifted-ness they bring to the body. And I’m always amazed! It’s in their questions, their curiosity, their kindness that I hear the voice of God, the beginning of healing. Once in a while, I still feel the nudge, Sue, call Kimberley. 

Praying. A praying friend is a safe friend. Mary ALWAYS end our conversations with, let me pray for you. What a wonderful gift. Praying can happen silently or out loud. Praying can happen by text, over the phone, in an email or letter.

“The greatest gift my friendship can give you
is the gift of your belovedness.”
Henri Nouwen

“A friend loves at all times …”
Proverbs 17:17

More coming …

Copyright: Sue Tell, October 2025