Tip: If you haven’t read the two previous posts, I encourage you to read them first. Scroll down.

“I was (we were) created for relationship.”
Amy Ellenwood

me & Jean Fleming, one of my cross-generational friends.

And some of my most special relationships are the friendships of the women who walk this journey with me.

This picture was snapped a few years ago when Jean and I led a retreat for a small group of others in Estes Park, CO.

One of the biggest things I appreciate about Jean are her questions. She is forever interested in me, in what I’m studying, in what I’m learning. Every phone conversation starts with, Sue, what are you thinking about these days?

And I’m learning a ton from Jean about ministry where God currently has you. Jean is a widow and lives in an  Over-55 community. Almost every week she has a prayer request about another of the ladies she is developing a friendship with.

Last week she was telling me about her current project to minister to her grand-children, her youngest cross-generational friends. She is personalizing a wide-margin Bible for each of them adding some of how God has met her next to the appropriate scriptures. I plan to copy that idea. THANK YOU, JEAN!

Although I knew Jean as a fellow Nav-staff and author, I did not know her personally until she initiated toward me. I still remember sitting in the coffee shop and asking those getting-to-know-you questions. I had no idea of the blessing Jean’s continued friendship would be to me that day.

If our friendship had rested on my seeking her out, it would not have happened. I would have been too intimidated to go first. After all, Jean is a published author!***

Fearing disappointment can keep us from a great cross-gen friend.

Me & Paula

Peer friendships are just as valuable as cross-generational friends. I first met Paula in a Bible study at a mutual friend’s home. Because of her heart for growing in her spiritual life, there was an instant bond. Over the years we have done several studies together, memorized scripture together, and more. Paula might be one of the best affirmers  I know.

Cross-generational friendships don’t need to last forever. Agreeing to read a book together and talk about what you’re learning is a method of mentoring. Establishing the parameters with the end in mind offers freedom to say yes.

I’m learning the importance of avoiding the why question. Who, what, when, where, how are easier to respond to.

Curiosity and listening are key components for cross-gen friends. “When we posture ourselves to listen, we’re automatically paying attention to the other person which in turn paves the way to understanding them.” from Desperate Woman Seeks Friends by Kristen Strong.

Avoiding assumptions and advice will help cement friendships. Allow your questions to lead your friend to God for answers. 

Mentoring or cross-gen friendships may not last forever. I’m learning to see them as the gift they are for the moment.

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:”
Ecclesiastes 3:1

*** Books by Jean Fleming: A Mother’s Heart, Feeding Your Soul, Pursue the Intentional Life (my favorite)

Copyright: Sue Tell, October 2025. Some ideas from the Amy Ellenwood presentation referenced last week.