Choking on My Tears is the original name of the article I wrote for Praying Through Loneliness. 

Janine also loves fly-fishing.

Although a totally different application, these words spoke the truth my heart needed to hear. Thank you Janine. Your words continue to minister. Please read on. Are you identifying?

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Psalm 34:18

I was brokenhearted and feeling very alone.

The speaker finished. The pews were emptying; the ladies smiling and chatting with each other as they walked from the sanctuary – except me. I sat glued to the pew, my head in my hands, my tears flowing.

Janine waited patiently. She didn’t ask. She didn’t hold my jacket and nudge me into leaving. She recognized God at work.

I felt so alone. Why were they so upbeat? Am I the only one using Kleenex after Kleenex? It seemed so.

But I wasn’t alone. Not only was the Lord close, my friend Janine was too.

Choking on my tears, I began to gulp out my story.

She listened quietly.
She didn’t ask questions.
She didn’t share a scripture.
She didn’t try and coax me out of my reality.
She allowed me to be me.
She responded, “Awareness is huge!”

Awareness is huge. How did that help?

I wiped my eyes once again as I pondered her words.  

And I heard from God. Janine’s words were the encouragement I needed; they offered hope.

Through the message from the speaker, I heard again of God’s great love for me. I also realized I had been trying to prove my worth to God by my doings. That night, I became aware. Awareness is huge. The message and Janine’s words set the stage for transformation.

I was brokenhearted in a good way. I’m so thankful I invited Janine to come with me.

I dried my tears, my loneliness dissipating. My next steps of spiritual growth were showing themselves. I was aware. Grace!

Lord, thank You that you use our friends to speak encouragement and truth. Thank You for the speaker that night. Thank You for Janine. Thank You for Your great love that opens the door for transformation. Thank You that You meet us in our aloneness.  Amen.

Sue Tell

God uses His family to transform feelings of loneliness.

The following story first appeared in this book.
Available at your favorite bookseller.