These words below are penned by my friend Janet Newberry.

I originally wrote this to say goodbye to 2020. Little did we know that a new year would bring as many new trials and sorrows as it did mercy to live gracefully with them.

I’m not so sure I lived as gracefully as I could have this year and I am sure I am loved … and healing…and growing in a healthy direction. There is great hope.

“In a few days, we will say goodbye to 2021. Maybe today is a good day to deal with forgiveness.

I’m not even sure how to type a sentence that speaks of “forgiving a year,” but I do have experience dragging around bitterness … and it’s not the way I want to walk into a relationship with a new year.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean bad things didn’t happen.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean the pain wasn’t real.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean the changes that happened in our lives were all good.

Forgiveness means that we take our hands off the faucet of blame and bitterness and give God permission to deal with both.

I remember one night when I was arguing with God about forgiveness. When I finally decided to step across the line, it wasn’t without emotion and ache.

I felt the real risk of living life unsupported by the energy hate offers when I said, “Ok, fine! I don’t feel like forgiving. He doesn’t deserve my forgiveness! I don’t even know how to forgive him, God … so I’m just going to say — You do it in me, Father. I choose to forgive because I trust You…not him.”

I promise it was like that scene in the movie “Hook” when the lost boys were trying to convince Robin Williams that he wasn’t Peter Pan … but one little boy pushed up the side of Robin Williams’ face so that it began to take the shape of a supported grin.

And the boy said, “Oh, there you are!”

Without a scowl, the little boy recognized his old friend.

And God said the same thing to me when uttered my trust. “Oh, there you are!”

Without all that baggage, my countenance must’ve changed. My scowl probably took a little while to relax, but the rock in my hand was gone.

Deep sigh.

If we’re going to take any souvenirs into the new year, let’s gather our trust instead of our stones.

Let’s believe that God can take what has not been good and redeem it in a way that requires His supernatural touch.

Together, there is great hope.

You’ve met Janet Newberry before on Echoes. I always appreciate how she articulates grace through her story in a way that makes so much sense.

 

 

Next Thursday, February 24, 2022 – Forgiving Myself – Years Later

Full disclosure: I have not read these books on forgiveness but my friends highly recommend them. And I will for sure read them.

Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers, by Leslie Leyland Fields:  “This book addresses forgiving the shortcomings and sins of a mentally ill parent. It is helpful not only for those of us who have experienced childhood trauma from one or both parents, but also the rest of us who struggle to empathize with the damage this kind of experience has wrecked upon our loved ones. The author shares wonderful examples of what biblical forgiveness looked like in her family and how it healed relationships with her siblings as well.” Thank you to Nancy Holesapple.

“If you have ever suffered a major, life-changing hurt by someone you trusted, forgiveness and normalcy can feel like they will never be possible again. However, forgiveness is not optional but mandatory for true healing. In her book, Forgiving What You Can’t Forget, Lysa Terkeurst addresses this difficult issue with deep compassion from personal experience. It has been a valuable tool in restoring normalcy to my life. I highly recommend it if deep wounds have stolen your ability to trust.” Thank you to Carolyn Eden.