It’s a new season. Autumn is one week old. (It’s one of my three favorite seasons.) There is new beauty. I love watching the trees, the foliage change into their new colors.

It is true with Gospel Friendships as well. Although each friendship is lived out uniquely, there is a predictable simplicity and beauty to each one. And it changes with the seasons.

The scriptures don’t change. The principles don’t change. But the application of the principles change with each friendship and in each new season.

Three scriptures and six principles guide me.

Ephesians 5:2 – “And walk in love,” That leads me to Q & A.

I ask a lot of questions. I practice curiosity. I don’t need answers; God has the answers. I just need to allow my questions to lead my gospel friends to God’s answers.

“A” stands for affirmation. Affirmation is pointing out God’s work in their lives. Affirmations are not compliments. Compliments highlight what one does. Affirmations point out who God created us to be.  One of my most common affirmations is, You’re in a good place. The good place is not defined as problem free; it is defined by their desire to grow spiritually.***

Ephesians 5:8 – “Walk as children of light.”

“So being affectionately desirous of you,
we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God
but also our own selves,
because you had become very dear to us.”
I Thessalonians 2:8

Leaders go first. I need to be willing to be vulnerable and walk in the light with my story. When I offer my vulnerability; it opens a door to their hearts. Trust happens. They become secure in vulnerability. We are both walking in the light.

“What. You too? I thought I was the only one.” C.S. Lewis.

And as they walk in the light with me, I’ve learned to not be shocked. Everyone has issues. One friend sat down with her coffee, looked at me and said, when I tell you this, you’re not going to like me. I still like her. She is one of my gospel friends.

Ephesians 2:15 – “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,”

For me, a major part of walking in wisdom is knowing my capacity. It is changing. One of my friends mentioned that for her it is knowing if she started something, could she sustain it. Sustainability helps define capacity. Thank you, Linda!

God gives us passions. They don’t change; but the application changes. Another friend, gifted in hospitality, told me recently, “I still love to use my home (her gift of hospitality has not changed), but I often invite my friends in for tea in the afternoon instead of for dinner.” Recently I benefited from her hospitality. We shared a delightful afternoon.

A new baby changes capacity. Bill and I gave up inviting friends for dinner for a year when our second son was born.

God designed us to walk in the beauty of gospel friendships: to walk in love; to walk in the light; to walk with wisdom. The simplicity of focusing on these three scriptures and six principles has offered a plan that gives courage and blesses gospel friendships.

 

*** I have an affirmation worksheet that I often use with my gospel friends. I’d love to share it with you as well. Let me know if you’re interested. sue.tell@navigators.org.

 

Copyright: Sue Tell, September 2022