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Carol & Me
Gospel Coalition Conf, 2024
Capacity-–that word, that concept has been much on my mind the last few years.
I became more aware when my friend Carol commented on the phone one afternoon, Sue, you use that word a lot. Hmmmm, I tend to talk about what I’ve been thinking about.
Okay, true confession. I’ve thought of my capacity as it relates to age and diminished physical capacity. Well diminished from what it used to be … a year ago or five years ago. Capacity was a negative, a sad thought for me.
Well, that’s my excuse!
Then Ruth Haley Barton in her excellent book, Invitation to Retreat, challenged me with this question, “How are your sacred rhythms resulting in an increasing capacity to be available TO God FOR others?” page 102 (underline, mine)
“For this reason I Paul, a prisoner for Christ Jesus
on behalf of you Gentiles–
assuming that you have heard of the stewardship of God’s grace
that was given to me for you,“
Ephesians 3:1, 2
“As each has received a gift,
use it to serve one another,
as good stewards of God’s varied grace:”
I Peter 4:10
My underlines highlight God’s desire for me and my desire. They are cross-references of Colossians 1:25 that I’ve mentioned before.
Suddenly capacity wasn’t a word that communicated less. Capacity was lining up with many of my desires from the last 25 years. It could communicate more.
Capacity was not a threat; it was an affirmation of my current reality.
Capacity didn’t diminish; capacity could grow.
Capacity didn’t change my calling; capacity clarified my calling.
Capacity wasn’t connected to my calendar or age; capacity was connected to my time with God!
All this led me to ponder these questions … and others:
Is there sufficient space in my day so my desires are an overflow of my listening to God?
Are there decisions I need to make to bring that desire to reality?
Are my mornings a reflection of what will grow my capacity?
I want my answers to be YES!
“So we do not lose heart.
Though our outer self is wasting away,
our inner self is being renewed day by day.“
II Corinthians 4:16 (underline, mine)
“For this reason, I bow my knees before the Father …
that according to the riches of his glory
he may grant you to be strengthened with power
through his Spirit
in your inner being.“
Ephesians 4:14 and 16 (underline, mine)
My heart is that my inner self, my soul is renewed day by day. My heart is that my capacity reflects God’s heart for me … and for you.
What helps you feed your capacity? Let’s help each other.
Copyright: Sue Tell, August 2025
Well written and said Sue! My struggle right now is that I’m feeling or rather not feeling. I can’t decide if my faith is so strong, that I’m so confident in whatever direction God takes my sister, Julie’s cancer—-Or, I’m in shock and am simply not functioning. Capacity? What capacity? These days I’m just going through the motions each day. Praying a lot. Remember, I’ve already lost 3 of my 5 siblings -2 in the last 4 years. Think of you often. Enjoy your trip. Love, Paula
Oh my dear friend Paula. God has you in a very hard place. Your faith IS strong or you wouldn’t be asking these questions. Allow God to refuel your soul. Each day is a new opportunity to trust. You don’t need capacity for tomorrow, only for today. Praying for you and for Julie too.
Really good questions … I (think☺️) I’m growing in not seeing my capacity as a threat, but so much more room for growth as I kick against the goads with what I want to do and what my energy levels tell me I can do. “Clarifying my calling, not changing it.” I want to embrace that more and I know that will be only possible as I embrace the rythems that allow me to listen to and follow Jesus.
Thank you again for thoughtful insights… asking Jesus to keep showing me the way forward.
Oh Stephanie, we’re in the same place!
This morning’s question, What does it look like to pass the baton? Or, how do I do that with joy?
Discernment needed!! Thankful for you!
FMA, sue
My “I think” was in reference to my growing, not in reference to the questions being good.
“Capacity didn’t change my calling; capacity clarified my calling. Capacity wasn’t connected to my calendar or age: capacity was connected to my time with God.”
Bam! Bam! Bam! I really needed those two statements TODAY. Thank you, Sue!
Good morning Aleisha,
Yup, and I need to keep reminding myself!!! This morning I opted out of an outing with friends. There was a time conflict, AND also needing to use the time to listen to God. Sometimes it’s a hard call.
FMA, sue