Stan on the beach in the BVI. Photo courtesy of Suzanne Turton.
My sister texted the day of Stan’s visitation, “Hope the family finds peace and hope in the service.” Hope and peace in the midst of the tragedy of Stan’s sudden death. Really?
My favorite verse on hope immediately came to mind,
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing,
so that by the power of the Holy Spirit, you may abound in hope.”
Romans 15:13
Three BIG words: hope, peace, and joy.
Hope – YES!
I’m so thankful for the hope of heaven. C.S. Lewis said, “If you live for the next world (heaven), you get this one (earth) in the deal; but if you live only for this world, you lose them both.”
Stan’s son Andrew referred to this quotation in his words at the memorial service.
Stan was a man who lived for heaven; he knew the love of Jesus and it was reflected in his life. As Andrew mentioned he wasn’t interested in a legacy but in planting those tiny eternal mustard seeds that would grow into large trees providing a home and rest for many birds.
“It is the smallest of all seeds, but when it has grown
it is larger than all the garden plants and becomes a tree,
so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.”
Matthew 13:32
As a husband, as a father and grand-father, as a friend, and as a doctor, the seeds that Stan planted have taken root and grown. Many are resting in that legacy that Stan never set out to leave. I’m so thankful to have called him friend.
And hope leads to peace.
Peace – YES!
“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith,
we have peace with God …”
Romans 5:1
Our peace rests in God, not in the circumstances of our lives. It is a peace beyond which the world can offer.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.
Not as the world gives do I give to you.
Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
John 14:27
That familiar scripture I memorized years ago leaves me with an option: am I willing in the midst of my tears to trust its truth?
J.R.R. Tolkien, decidedly the greatest author of the twentieth century said through his character Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings, “There are sorrows in this world so great that their tears are never wiped away in this life.”
But Joy???
I am thankful for the hope of heaven. I am thankful for the peace God offers. But joy? Stan’s large extended family is in shock. They are hurting greatly. Bill and I are hurting. Stan’s death was a tragedy – that word I understand, but joy?
Yet joy met us.
Psalm 16:11 has long been another favorite. This chalkboard was prominently displayed at the visitation and funeral. “In your presence there is fullness of joy;” That’s Stan’s reality– and our hope.
As Andrew recounted for us many of the things his father loved, he concluded with this thought, “In the waves of grief and tears there is a joy over our father’s life.”
At the graveside service which our son Jeff (Stan’s son-in-law) officiated, he too spoke of joy. “We are committing Stan’s body to the ground for a time … we do this in profound sorrow, and yet, there is joy. For to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”
And in the words of the songs we sang joy was present.
I can’t explain it. But something had changed as we walked back through the woods leaving Stan’s body in his grave. There was an okay-ness.
We had been reminded of our hope as believers.
We were experiencing peace we couldn’t explain.
And yes, there was a quiet joy.
Memories continue flooding back.
Tears continue to flow.
Dreams testify to our new reality.
Hope, peace, and joy offer truth and comfort.
Things I loved about Stan …
Stan loved delivering babies.
Stan sang Happy Birthday to every baby he delivered. His daughter Aubrey (our daughter-in-love) is carrying on this legacy.
Stan and Aubrey, Cusco Peru
Stan took many mission trips with Volunteers in Medical Missions. In this picture he’s closely supervising his daughter and soon-to-be doctor. I’m very thankful that Jeff was able to also accompany them. His aptitude in speaking and reading Spanish was a great asset.
Bill and Stan
Stan took Bill and me up in his first Cessna. We flew over Lake Keowee. Yes, I was scared at first.
Thank you to Carol Rampey for this photo.
Stan loved to fly above the clouds to watch the sun rise.
Our last double date
Stan, and Carol too, knew how to do friendship. And I look forward to continuing to build our friendship with Carol. This was snapped in Greenville, SC, October 2017.
And one more memory. This conversation happened at the Visitation.
An important talk
“Grandpa [Tell], where are Papa Stan’s bones?” Ezra, 4 1/2 years old.
At Stan’s request, Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus) was sung at his Memorial Service. You can listen to it here.
And this is the song Andrew, Aubrey, Austin, Abram, and Elise (Austin’s wife) sang at the graveside service, the picture above.
Dr. Stan Rampey
Husband to Carol; father to Andrew, Aubrey, Austin, & Abram.
Grandfather to 10 precious littles.
Greatly loved by his large extended family and many, many friends including Bill and me.
October 18, 1951 – June 12, 2019
Echoes of Grace remains on a semi-sabbatical for a few more weeks and plans to return, Thursday, September 12! Mark your calendars.
What a beautiful tribute. Life is so short. Rejoicing with you that he made his time on earth matter. Thanks for the reminder that joy can be found even in the deepest grief. I have experienced my share of deaths but have struggled to remain peaceful in the midst of them. For me they came so fast that I barely had time to begin to process before the next one hit. And the next, and the next, and the next…. I had a very important conversation with my pastor in which I realized I was making my grief my identity. I was crushed by them, and I handled it in very unhealthy ways. Thankfully I have a new perspective on the numerous deaths. It’s still hard, but now i’m dealing with the legitimate grief.
I am working through another loss, that of the ending of a three year job. I did not react well at first but enter another important conversation with my pastor in which I understood the loss as a gift. God has helped me realize that blessings come in more forms than jobs or material possessions. It comes in the form of that true peace that Satan cannot take away. And God in the past week, actually the past few days has been breaking significant bondage for me.
I have just begun a one year journey in which I am just going to let God love on me. It’s an aspect of His character I struggle with the most. I can’t wait to see how different I am a year from now!
I am truly sorry for the loss you are experiencing. I have so been there, done that. But thank you for putting words to your grief and encouraging others at the same time. Praying for you.
Oh Becky … thank you for sharing. It is so good that you have the freedom to connect with your pastor. We were not meant to do life alone.
For me concentrating on the love of God has been life changing! I pray over several scriptures almost daily on God’s love and ask, “What would it look like to trust this today?” Sometimes I hear God’s quiet voice right away; other times I say “amen” and have no idea how God will answer.
One of the first scriptures I recorded in my journal and is a daily prayer is I John 3:1. More recently I’ve been stuck on (that’s a good thing) is Jeremiah 31:3, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore, I have continued my faithfulness to you.”
I’m excited with you about what the next year might hold.
So beautifully written, Sue! I’m so sorry for the loss of Stan to all of you. His plane crash took a wonderful man from the lives of so many. Even though his goal was not to leave a legacy, he certainly did just that, and that is his gift to all who knew him. I love that you’ve concentrated on hope, peace and joy as you honored him in this post. Thanks for sharing with all of us! May God grant you hope, peace and joy as you remember your dear friend.
Love, Sandy Kistler
Thank you Sandy. And how well you know what it’s like to lose a dear friend.
Yes, I’m definitely thankful for the gift of the legacy Stan left.
May hope, peace, and joy be reality for you as well, my friend!
Thank you so much, Sue. May God’s blessings be with you!