Or, The Ministry of Vulnerability.
Yes, the social media campaign ignited this message.
No, I was never sexually abused.
Yes, I’m raising my hands, but in a different way.
I have experienced the ministry of vulnerability.
And as Brene Brown says, “vulnerability is at the core of
meaningful human experiences”.
Vulnerability starts with transparency. The women raising their hands on social media are transparently sharing a piece of their story. But unless transparency moves beyond the telling of your story, vulnerability doesn’t happen and ministry is short-circuited.
Bill and I had a hard engagement story. That time that was supposed to be all joy and fun in the planning for our wedding and marriage wasn’t that way for us. Not everyone thought we should get married. There were other difficult relationships to deal with. There was the tension of long-distance planning. There were needed changes we didn’t anticipate or want. I was trying to protect God’s reputation. (I imagine God was laughing at that one, he doesn’t need my protection, I need his.)
We barrelled through. We were transparent about our hurts with a select few. We were vulnerable with one.
Time did not heal. But vulnerability took us on a journey that brought understanding and healing.
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Being in campus ministry, we are privileged to be included on many budding love stories. We listen, we support, we encourage … but in the early years, we rarely shared our story, until … others began sharing transparently with us their difficult engagement stories. Really? Me too!!!
It was the me too, that opened the doors of ministry, that taught us about the wisdom and the power of transparency leading to vulnerability. Me too, is a powerful declaration in the hand of God.
Transparency lifts the weight of the hard. But if stops there, there is no value in the experience.
“And we know that for those who love God
all things work together for good,”
Romans 8:28
The working for good comes in the vulnerability.
Bill and I have discovered four statements that lead us from transparency to vulnerability, from the me too to experiencing the love and wisdom of God.
Four decisions of vulnerability:
1. I choose to reveal myself to you.
2. I choose to give permission to you to ask me anything.
3. I choose to allow you to teach me.
4. I choose to come under your influence.
It is the fourth decision that opens the door to vulnerability.
In the months leading up to our marriage, we chose to come under the influence of a godly older man. And that made all the difference. His counsel, love, wisdom, and support provided the needed courage to continue to follow God in the midst of the messiness. Thank you Alan.
Copyright@2018,Sue Tell