Originally published 3/4/21

God continues to clarify for me how he defines pulling back (my word for 2021). Sometimes it relates to meddling. Hmmmmmm, I don’t like that.

“But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer
or as a meddler.”
I Peter 4:15 (underline mine)

I forced myself to ask, why is a meddler mentioned along with those other really bad things?

Dictionary.com defines meddler as involving oneself in a matter without invitation.
The Cambridge-English dictionary says to try to have an influence on things that are not your responsibility.

Thank you to my friend Amy, my who shared with me, I often want to use my gift of discernment to “share” with my husband “insight” I think he needs to lead others. But my sinful flesh has definitely gotten mixed in with that insight. These areas are not my responsibility. I had been meddling.

I began to see the connection between pulling-back and meddling. Sometimes they are the same thing; sometimes they are not.

Allie* is going through a horrendous divorce. She is not my responsibility, but she is a friend and I do have an invitation. I am not pulling-back, I am reaching out. (not meddling)

Bill and I are leading a sabbatical team for Jay* and Carrie*. Our role is to ask questions that allow them to discern what they are hearing from God as opposed to giving advice or offering words to direct them. I am not pulling-back from questions; I am pulling-back from advice. (not meddling)

In our Sunday School community, I serve as one of the shepherds, being a friend to some of the women. I initiate; I listen; I pray. But I don’t carry responsibilities for other parts of our community. That’s where I’m learning to pull-back. They don’t need all my wonderful ideas! “It is soooooo much easier to give advice, and even think it is wanted!” Bulls-eye, Marion. (This one is hard for me … I kind of want to meddle.)

Then there are our GRANDS. Often I (we) need to discern where our participation is welcome and where do we need to pull-back and not meddle.

My dear friend April shared her insight. When I am inserting myself into someone else’s place, I’m assuming someone else’s responsibility and missing my “good work”. All good things are not MY good things. 

If I don’t pull-back, my time, capacity, and energy
to give myself to God’s purposes for me
are in jeopardy.

Jonah pulled back from what God asked him to do with dire consequences. Check out chapter 1. I heard the question from God, is there something God is asking of me and I’m pulling back?

I knew the answer right away. YES!

But I needed to pull-back, in some areas to cease meddling. This is offering me the freedom, the capacity, the energy I need to follow God’s purposes, his good work for me.

The very next verse in I Peter 4 gives the alternative to meddling,
“but let him glorify God”.
That’s my heart.

Thanks Linus … I think!

Copyright: Sue Tell, May 2023