More specifically, Gospel Friendship is a sheltering tree.

Marion is still mentoring me from Heaven.

My husband was in the process of recovering from very severe burnout and depression. It was the first Sunday of Advent (1999) and we were back in church for the first time in weeks. I LOVED it! I was so glad to be with friends and celebrating the beginning of the Christmas season. The music was glorious; the message encouraging. Bill, however, couldn’t wait for the service to end. The music was too loud. The morning’s message didn’t apply. The kind greetings of our friends as the service ended suffocated him.

We left knowing he wasn’t ready yet to be with 1500 of our friends … even if only for a few hours on a Sunday morning.

Now I was depressed.

I wanted to, no, I needed to support my husband. And I wanted to be back with our church family. The tug on my emotions was real and hard. I needed a gospel friend.

It was Marion’s gospel friendship, understanding, and gentle words a few days later that delivered peace to my heart. Sue, you and Bill don’t need to be here physically on Sundays. You are loved and we understand. This was many years before our service was live-streamed.

I’m such a people-pleaser! My depression that long-ago Sunday stemmed from both the sadness of our reality and from feeling the NEED to be in church. Isn’t that what people expect from good church members? Marion put my heart at ease and pointed me to the path of trust.

The Holy Spirit brought Marion’s wisdom back to my mind as once again this fall I was struggling with a decision revolving around church. This time it was not my presence that was tripping me up, it was my participation, my ministry within the walls of our church.

My heart was pulling me one way; my capacity another way. Again the tug on my emotions was real. I needed my gospel friends.

The reality is I have ministry in our church and within our mission organization. But I’m not a Sunday School teacher. My responsibility is not serving at the coffee bar. I’m not leading a ladies Bible study.  You know, those things that easily offer an identity, significance. Those outside of my influence may not know that I connect with several gospel friends. I minister to them. They minister to me. Sometimes we meet at a local coffee shop; sometimes via Zoom. Both work.

In these, my silver-haired years, God is privileging me with these gospel friendships. We help each other live out the gospel of grace. We listen to each other’s stories; we ask questions; we affirm; we offer wisdom to each other. These ladies are cross-generational friends, or gospel friends. We prod each other on. I learn so much from my gospel friends.

I’m living out who God created me to be in this season. It’s a hidden ministry; it’s experiencing gospel friendship. It is good.

A few years before Marion promoted to Heaven, we were talking about Bible study. At the time she was living in a senior complex. Marion and I originally met in the context of church Bible study. She shared, Sue, several are asking me to return to church for Bible study. But God has me living here. And I want to serve in the midst of where I am. The wisdom of a gospel friend.

“but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart
with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,
which in God’s sight is very precious.”
I Peter 3:4

For another chapter in my journey on this topic, come back next Thursday, September 29. I’ll be sharing my practical plan for cross-generational, gospel friendships.

It seems God reminds me of this topic often. Check out these posts:
https://suetell.com/2020/09/       The Gift of Friendship
https://suetell.com/older-woman-need-older-woman/       Older Women Still Need Older Women

 

Copyright:  Sue Tell, Sept 2022