My Aunt Pat walked into heaven two weeks ago on May 10th.

As I remember Aunt Pat, two qualities stand out. Aunt Pat trusted me. Even as a young teen, Aunt Pat was willing to call on me as her babysitter. She was a brave woman. I wonder if I ever told her of taking her young son to the lake and how he almost escaped from me running toward the water? Probably not. It was pretty scary for me. And I wanted to continue to be trusted. I was.

And Aunt Pat was an affirm-er. Her words always left me with a smile. My last phone conversation with her was a few months after my Mom died. Not only did she abundantly thank me for calling, affirming me, she also affirmed my Mother. She spoke of my Mother believing in her and trusting her. She told me how my Mom’s words were powerful enough to change the scene on her wedding day. Aunt Pat’s remembering was a gift to me.

Two days after Aunt Pat died, I sat in front of the large picture windows at the end of the hallway, Bill sleeping a few doors down anesthetic still controlling his body. More memories flooded back. Aunt Pat had a long career as a nurse.

As I watched the nurses scurrying from room to room ministering meds and hope to those in the beds, I thought of Aunt Pat. It was easy to picture her offering meds and hope to those in her charge.

While I watched, my earbuds privately delivered a podcast — I didn’t want to disturb the patients or the nurses. The topic of the podcast was fairy tales, magic, and being human. The speakers suggesting that fairy tales with their magic can deliver faith to the humans who listen and are quiet enough to be enthralled.

The podcast connected me in a new way with Aunt Pat.

Aunt Pat’s grand-daughter, Maggie, a self-proclaimed “Discoverer of the magic in the ordinary”, wrote a beautiful tribute to her Grammie testifying to her faith, caught as a child through the wonder of magic. Curly gray hair connecting with tattooed arms, generation to generation, through pretending and believing. The beauty of their bond offering a legacy of hope.

Their bond strengthened over the years. Maggie grew and followed her Grammie into nursing. They had much in common, much to share. Like the nurses I observed two weeks ago, Aunt Pat and Maggie both chose a life of service to those who are hurting, who are scared, who need the magic, the reality of hope.

I didn’t know my Aunt Pat in the same way Maggie knew her Grammie. I’m thankful for the gift of Maggie’s words painting a more complete and deeper, more beautiful picture of Aunt Pat.

In her waning days, my cousin’s (Maggie’s dad) wife sat and read the gospel of John to Aunt Pat. Another story, this account not a fairy-tale, but the true story of Jesus, the true story of God’s love unfolding through the God-man becoming flesh, becoming human so that we may believe.

“Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of the disciples,
which are not written in this book:
but these are written
so that
you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God,
and that by believing
you many have life in his name.”
John 20:30 and 31

I understand that hearing is the last sense to go. As Aunt Pat lay silently, she lay listening to this true story.

“So faith comes from hearing,
and hearing through the word of Christ.”
Romans 10:17

I wonder, was Aunt Pat also remembering?

The podcast I was listening to, “The Gospel According to Fairy Tales”. https://outoftheordinarypodcast.com/128-the-gospel-acccording-to-fairy-tales/

Copyright, Sue Tell, May 2021

It was 2008. The plane was packed to capacity. Bill sat in the middle. I was to his left on the aisle. Our friend Lindy was several rows behind. We were on our way to Wisconsin for Bill to officiate a funeral.

35,000′ up his breathing became shallow and rapid. Something wasn’t right. I looked at the child across the aisle, “Please, get a flight attendant — quick!”

The flight attendant came armed with a cool washcloth and an oxygen tank. I also asked for my friend. She would pray. They moved her to the row right behind us.

In the midst of the scary, those times when prayer could calm, I’m hopeless —
I need my people to stand in the gap.

Second verse, same as the first … It happened again last week. I’m in my writing room on my cell phone listening to Mary’s story. Bill comes in. “Just a minute Mary, Bill needs to tell me something.”

“The PA just called. After reading the results of my blood test yesterday, she wants me to go to the ER. She suspects Kidney stones.  A CT scan at the hospital can confirm or deny.”

I say good-by to Mary, gather my car keys and a book, and we left.

Would surgery be needed again like two years ago?

I text our sons and physician daughter-in-law — our own personal doctor.
I text our couple’s group — please pray.
The texting circle widens as I think of more who will pray.

In the midst of the scary, those times when prayer could calm, I’m hopeless —
I need my people to stand in the gap.
Some things never change.

The CT confirmed it.

I go home for the night leaving Bill hooked to IV’s and a blood pressure cuff.

Things moved quickly the next morning. Bill had surgery to remove the stone — only one this time.

But I was shaking.

That same night my friend Diane (unaware of our circumstances) shared a devotional she recently wrote based on Joshua 1:8 and 9.

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“Do not be afraid” or in some versions, “Fear not”.  “‘Fear not’ is the most often repeated command in the Bible, appearing more than 200 times.” Diane Spuler.

Was I afraid? I was shaking. I needed my people.

And our Far More Abundant God provided according to his character.

1. God provided through the truth of his Word. The scriptures I have recorded in my leather journal in ink and review almost daily spoke peace to my hear. “and he (God) will be the stability of your times…” Isaiah 33:6. God provided stability that day through friends.
2. Friends who prayed. Kay texted, “You are both being covered!!!” Covered in prayer after I shared how hopeless I am with prayer in times like these.
3. Friends who ask me questions rather than sharing their similar story.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          After we were home, Bill texted our couple’s group, our Splendid Friends, “Hey all — Bill here. Thanks so much for all your prayers and support for sue…” (bolding mine) Bill knows me well.

“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”
Corrie ten Boom

“love one another” John 13:34
“pray for one another” James 5:16
“accept one another” Romans 15:7
“serve one another” Galatians 5:13

I’m very thankful for those who stood in the gap on our behalf. Truly, I needed them!
And there were others.

Copyright, Sue Tell, May 2021

I highly encourage you to go to Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or your favorite place to buy books, get your copy of Growing Slow and soak in it’s wisdom.  And then let’s share the nuggets with each other that speak to our hearts.

Copyright: Sue Tell, May 2021

Happy Mother’s Day, my Friends!

I loved visiting Mom in the springtime. As I drove down her street her immaculate Dutch Colonial home encircled with the beauty of spring drew me like a magnet.

The deep pink and white Azalea bushes lining her front walkway led to the front porch. They were the first things my eyes would see. Mom always had a chair placed invitingly on the front porch where we could visit  and enjoy the beauty of her neighborhood with its deciduous tree-lined street.

As I drove in the large Rhododendron bushes with their lovely white blooms hugging her driveway communicated, I am home and Mom is here.

Mom was a strong woman, a hard worker, a leader, and a lover of beauty. She gave time and effort, even into her 90’s, to make sure the flowering bushes and trees were well cared for.

It was her mature Magnolia tree gracing her back yard that took my breath away.

Mom’s Magnolia Tree

It’s beauty grew with each passing spring day. The Magnolia tree with its delicate pink and white blossoms was a gift of our good creator for us to enjoy. We often sat on Mom’s screened in back porch and visited on those warm days enjoying each other, enjoying the beauty of the Magnolia tree, and enjoying a glass of Mom’s iced coffee. Who needs Starbucks?

Jack King on his blog, KnoxPriest, called it “Reading the Book of Creation”. For sure I need my Bible to connect with God. I’m also learning that when I connect with him by first enjoying his creation, he always leads me to where he wants to connect in his word. (This week its been Psalm 73.)

For me listen is a better verb than read. As I gaze at creation and listen for God’s voice, invariably we connect as he leads me to the place he wants me to read.

I’m learning that sitting and gazing at the beauty of God’s creation quiets my heart and is a necessary first step for listening, listening for the voice of God.

“Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good,
and delight yourselves in rich food.
Incline your ear to me, and come to me;
hear, that your Soul may live;”
Isaiah 55:2, 3

Colorado beauty is different from northern NJ beauty where Mom lived. Our majestic (still snow covered) mountains, the deep green of the pines and other evergreens, the delicate green leaves of the Aspens in the summer, and their gold leaves in the fall capture my heart as well.

This Aspen tree at the edge of our deck is filled with small buds getting ready to pop. It will be a few weeks yet. Look closely in the distance, the white is the snow on top of Pike’s Peak.

Listening to God by first enjoying his creation has redefined my morning devotions. I even have a new name for it, Sue’s S-C Plan, or My Sabbath-Canvas. My S-C Plan has three S-C sub-points that lead me to stewardship and cultivating maturity.

I’ve created a feminine S-C bookmark and I’d love to send you one. Just put your address in the comments or email me, sue@suetell.com. Happy Mother’s Day to you!

Thank you Mom for caring about and caring for beauty. Happy Mother’s Day in heaven.

“Splendor and majesty are before him;
strength and beauty are in his sanctuary.”
Psalm 96:6

Copyright: Sue Tell, April 2021

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We enjoyed a week in Phoenix with our Splendid Friends — our almost twenty year old couple’s group. Thank you again to Chuck and Kay, our snowbird couple, for hosting all of us!

The Phoenix weather wasn’t wonderful for March, but it sure beat the huge Colorado snowstorm swirling to our north.  I snapped these pictures after returning home. The snow had been melting and evaporating for three days already!

We are so thankful for our neighbors for their text-shared pictures and updates. Bill next door who is married to Sue (Yup Bill and Sue live right next door to Bill and me!) has the heart of a servant. Knowing we were away, he brought over his pickup equipped with a plow and cleared our 300′ long driveway. What a gift! Had he not done that we would have been traipsing through close to hip deep snow to get to our house.

Back to Phoenix. Sunday morning we all attended Chuck and Kay’s church. Pastor Chuck (another Chuck) was speaking on prayer and encouraged all of us to pray everyday until Easter, “Lord, empower me to love.” Our neighbors loved us well while we were gone. Truly we had no expectations of them plowing our driveway.

Pastor Chuck’s suggestion reminded me of another thought on love that was voiced during our Sunday School zoom class in Colorado earlier that morning.

The topic of enemies came up. Tom spoke up. Loving our enemies can only happen if we let go of our expectations of them to perform. We need to release them from our expectations.

Our neighbors are not our enemies. But sometimes they disappoint; as I know I sometimes disappoint them. I’m praying for myself, Lord, help me to release them from my expectations and empower me to love.

Romans 13:9 and 10 shares this principle, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.”

“Your love for one another will prove to the world
that you are my disciples.”
John 13:35, NLT

Copyright: Sue Tell, April 2021

Deuteronomy 33 and 34 led me to hear from God in my quiet time last month. What God thought was the most important quality of Moses stopped me in my tracks.

God loved Moses and used him greatly. The book of Exodus leaves me in awe. Moses led in conquering Amalek. (Exodus 17) Moses performed those great acts of judgment, the plagues before Pharoah. (Exodus 7-11) Moses led the Israelites through the Red Sea on DRY land. (Exodus 14) God chose Moses to receive the Ten Commandments and “When Moses came down from Mount Sinai … the skin of his face shone because he had been talking with God.” Exodus 34:29.

Moses had been talking with his friend; he had been talking with God, face to face.

“Thus the LORD used to speak to Moses face to face,
as a man speaks to his friend.”
Exodus 33:11 (bolding mine)

When Moses died in Moab, the most important thing God wants us to remember about him is that his relationship with God was a face to face friendship. Note Deuteronomy 34:10 in the graphic above.

“No longer do I call you servants … but I have called you friends ...”
John 15:15 (bolding mine)

God only names Abraham and Moses as his friends in the Old Testament. In the New Testament Jesus extends the potential of this privilege to all believers.

That’s my desire. I want to be known as a friend of God.

Copyright, Sue Tell, March 2021

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*The phrase, the freedom to feel, came to me at the end of my walk through the woods surrounding our home. Sitting on our bench on the edge of the trees for a moment of quiet before heading back brought it to mind. Quiet always opens space to hear.

Up to a few weeks ago Lexie would have been at my heels or sometimes leading the way. My walk felt very lonely that day. My walks still feel lonely.

It was a turning point.

For most of the week, I’d been holding back the tears. My feelings were tucked safely behind a false veneer. I did what needed to be done.

But sitting on our bench, I began to feel; I began to hear from God; I began to experience grace.

“and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me …”
I Timothy 1:14

I remembered Jesus.

John 1:35, the shortest verse recorded for us, “Jesus wept”. The context tells the story of Mary and Martha after the death of their brother Lazarus.

Jesus wept in the presence of Mary and Martha.
Jesus wept in the presence of other Jews.
Jesus allowed himself the freedom to feel.

I remembered God’s previous words to me.

God knit me together in my mother’s womb. Psalm 139:13.
God loves me with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3.
God reminded me it is with an unveiled face that I reflect his glory. II Corinthians 3:18

I remembered your love.

Your cards, your messages, your emails all offered the freedom to feel. All offered grace. Thank you.

Romans 15:5 and 6 took on new meaning. “May the God of steadfastness and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together with one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Grief and the Freedom to Feel

I can’t compare my grief with yours,
God created us each uniquely.
I can’t compare this grief with former griefs,
This grief is unique, is now.
I can’t compare my grief with those closest to me,
God created each of us uniquely.

Grief is a journey —
filled with sads,
filled with joys,
filled with memories,
offering the freedom to feel.

I’ve been strong and done the next thing.
I’ve been weak, my tears blurring the next.

All is grief.
All is grace.
All invites the freedom to feel.

“a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
Ecclesiastes 3:4

*For the back story, scroll down to “Our Sins and Our Sorrows”.

Copyright, Sue Tell, April 2021

Isaiah 53:3 and 4

3. “He was despised and rejected by men;
a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

4. Surely he has borne our griefs
and carried out sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
smitten by God, and afflicted.”

These Easter verses speak of Jesus. The next two verses are more well known. Jesus went to the cross for our transgressions and our iniquities — our sin.

Verse 3 describes Jesus as a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief. Verse 4 affirms he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows as well. Jesus also took our sorrows to the cross.

“When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, behold, your son!’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Behold, your mother!’ And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.” John 19:26, 27.

As Jesus hung on that crude wooden cross in his own great sorrow, he looked down and saw his mother and John. He saw her sorrow and provided for her.

Bill and I are experiencing great sorrow this week. Our Golden Retriever, Lexie, was euthanized. Her cancer became more than she could bear; more than we wanted for her to bear. It brought inordinate sorrow into our home, into our lives. We miss her lots.

I’m asking God, how will you meet us in this sorrow? Jesus knows our sorrow and grief.

Isaiah 53:1 asks “And to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?”

The arm of the Lord refers to the power of God in action. (ESV notes). I’m noticing the power of God in action for Bill and me from the heart of the one who knows the grief and the sorrow that is ours.

“And God said, ‘Let the earth bring forth living creatures … And God saw that it was good.'” Genesis 1:24, 25. Genesis doesn’t specifically mention dogs. But Lexie was indeed a living creature that brought us good.

I love the book Every Moment Holy by Rabbit Room Press. It is a collection of liturgies for our everyday lives. The “Loss of a Living Thing” has provided words of comfort and words of prayer for me.

“Here was your good creature, O Lord,
pondered and called to life
by your compassionate design.

Here was your good creature,
and here were the spaces and the days we
shared, enjoying the glad company
and cheerful fellowship of a fellow creature.

We made room in our lives,
room in our home, room in our hearts,
to welcome your unique creation.
And we gave your good creature the name Lexie.”

The liturgy continues for several stanzas traveling through the joy of her presence that is ended with death; our normal human response; the good memories; the longing for all to be made right; recounting the character of God; ending with great hope. Copyright only allows me to quote briefly.

Her tail wagged right up to the end; she was a Golden.

What sorrows are you living with? How are you experiencing the goodness of God in the midst of your now?

Copyright Sue Tell, April 2021

                                                 Photography compliments of Larry Lorimor.

I grew up in a family that held a Christian world view. Our small blue-law town affirmed it as well. Our schools were closed for Christmas break and Easter break starting with Good Friday. All the shops were closed on Sundays. It made embracing the Easter Story normal, easy. With child-like faith, I accepted it without questions. It shaped me and readied me.

As an adult who still holds fast to a Christian world view, what happened to that child-like faith? Will I always be content to adhere to “I believe, help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24) The resurrection is big belief.

Paul prayed in Philippians 3 “that I may  know Him and the power of his resurrection,” (verse 10)

What was he asking?

According to D.A. Carson, knowledge of God entails fellowship, trust, personal relationship, faith. My ESV Bible footnotes calls it an intimate knowledge.

This knowing is not superficial. Truly I knew about Easter as a child. I knew the facts. God in his grace allowed me to believe. But my believing needed to grow to knowing? That came later.

My knowing is growing as I’m growing in trust.

Earlier in Philippians, Paul encourages the young church to hold fast to the word of life. Holding fast is a credible definition of trust. When I pray, God, what would it look like to trust you today? I’m asking, God what it would look like to hold fast to your word, the truth in the scripture. God’s daily whispers are growing my knowing.

“Let us know; let us press on to know the LORD;”
Hosea 6:3

“Indeed, I count everything as loss
because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.”
Philippians 3:8

“Not that I have already obtained this … but I press on to make it my own,
because Christ Jesus has made me his own.”
Philippians 3:12

Like Paul, like Hosea my heart is to press on in knowing Jesus and his surpassing worth. To press on in trusting the wonderful resurrection story. When I look at my own life, why would I not trust? I have experienced resurrection power. I’m sure you have too. Jesus has claimed us as his own.

Peter’s heart in our knowing God includes the great promise of grace and peace and all things that pertain to life and godliness. Godliness clings to truth. Trusting truth is knowing.

“May grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.
His divine power has granted to us all things that that pertain to life and godliness,
through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence,”
II Peter 1:2, 3

My prayer for me, for you this Easter …

God, please grow our knowing.
Help us to press on in trust, to press on in knowing you.
May the power of your resurrection be our testimony, our knowing.
May the reality of grace and peace be multiplied to us
because we intimately know you. Amen.

“And this is eternal life, that they may know you
the only true God,
and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.”
John 17:3

Blessings to you all this Easter weekend! He is Risen! He is Risen Indeed!

All italics are mine.

Copyright, Sue Tell, March 2021

First the confession. Reading Kendra’s words on her blog, set my words in motion. Thank you, Kendra. I appreciate Kendra’s heart and her practical ideas.

The spring equinox was this week. Looking out my window, it sure doesn’t look like spring! So far 9″ of new snow are covering the 2′ of snow that came a week ago.

Since the last spring equinox, we all have been living with the reality of Covid-19 keeping many of us home with the opportunity to spring clean. There was time to look around and notice — notice the many things that no longer served the way I wanted our home to look or the practical purposes of every-day life. In some cases I wondered, what is this gadget for? I began to sort. I was  on a mission …

a mission to Keep, Share, or Toss.

There were many things I did want to keep. They were still serving our family well. Like the box of baby toys. Leah is only 11 months old.

There were things that went into a share box. Like the set of demitasse cups that are being sent to a niece. And the large cardboard box in our garage is on its third filling for Goodwill.

There were things that needed to be tossed. They no longer served their purpose for me and I was pretty sure that applied to others as well.

Beyond the practicals, God was whispering a message to me about keeping, sharing, or tossing. This was also a good time to sort spiritually.

KEEP – I asked myself, what does it look like to keep my friendship with God fresh and inviting?

“… ‘Man shall not live by bread alone,
but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.'”
Matthew 4:4

As I daily review the scriptures that remind me of the gospel, I pray more than the words, I also pray the principles the verse shares. I ask the Lord, what does it look like to trust this verse today? His answer is different each time; the circumstances of my life are different each time too. “For the word of God is living and active …” Hebrews 4:12.

I’m definitely keeping this practice.

SHARE – A new sharing door has opened and I’m loving it. Once a month, I’m sharing with ourteen-aged GRANDS.  We meet by zoom and concentrate on one verse per month. It’s a combination of Bible memory, Bible study, and Quiet time. Our verse for March is John 1:12. In April it will be Psalm 119:105.

Ashlyn & Jack

“But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting
on those who fear him,
and his righteousness to children’s children.”
Psalm 103:17

TOSS – Some of those things I’ve tossed in the past, sneak back in. I need to practice tossing again. John 8:44 says that satan is the father of lies. There are old lies he whispers to me again with new circumstances. One example, ministry is activity. John 15:5 tells me truth, ministry is abiding.

“You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil:
my cup overflows.”
Psalm 23:5

God has prepared a wonderful table designed with my nourishment needs in mind — right in the presence of my biggest enemy, satan. I toss out those lies to feast on the truth of the Word. Once again I experience the anointing of God and my cup overflows with contentment and joy.

What about you — what spiritual spring cleaning do you need to do?

Copyright, Sue Tell, March 2021