We enjoyed a week in Phoenix with our Splendid Friends — our almost twenty year old couple’s group. Thank you again to Chuck and Kay, our snowbird couple, for hosting all of us!

The Phoenix weather wasn’t wonderful for March, but it sure beat the huge Colorado snowstorm swirling to our north.  I snapped these pictures after returning home. The snow had been melting and evaporating for three days already!

We are so thankful for our neighbors for their text-shared pictures and updates. Bill next door who is married to Sue (Yup Bill and Sue live right next door to Bill and me!) has the heart of a servant. Knowing we were away, he brought over his pickup equipped with a plow and cleared our 300′ long driveway. What a gift! Had he not done that we would have been traipsing through close to hip deep snow to get to our house.

Back to Phoenix. Sunday morning we all attended Chuck and Kay’s church. Pastor Chuck (another Chuck) was speaking on prayer and encouraged all of us to pray everyday until Easter, “Lord, empower me to love.” Our neighbors loved us well while we were gone. Truly we had no expectations of them plowing our driveway.

Pastor Chuck’s suggestion reminded me of another thought on love that was voiced during our Sunday School zoom class in Colorado earlier that morning.

The topic of enemies came up. Tom spoke up. Loving our enemies can only happen if we let go of our expectations of them to perform. We need to release them from our expectations.

Our neighbors are not our enemies. But sometimes they disappoint; as I know I sometimes disappoint them. I’m praying for myself, Lord, help me to release them from my expectations and empower me to love.

Romans 13:9 and 10 shares this principle, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.”

“Your love for one another will prove to the world
that you are my disciples.”
John 13:35, NLT

Copyright: Sue Tell, April 2021

 

Deuteronomy 33 and 34 led me to hear from God in my quiet time last month. What God thought was the most important quality of Moses stopped me in my tracks.

God loved Moses and used him greatly. The book of Exodus leaves me in awe. Moses led in conquering Amalek. (Exodus 17) Moses performed those great acts of judgment, the plagues before Pharoah. (Exodus 7-11) Moses led the Israelites through the Red Sea on DRY land. (Exodus 14) God chose Moses to receive the Ten Commandments and “When Moses came down from Mount Sinai … the skin of his face shone because he had been talking with God.” Exodus 34:29.

Moses had been talking with his friend; he had been talking with God, face to face.

“Thus the LORD used to speak to Moses face to face,
as a man speaks to his friend.”
Exodus 33:11 (bolding mine)

When Moses died in Moab, the most important thing God wants us to remember about him is that his relationship with God was a face to face friendship. Note Deuteronomy 34:10 in the graphic above.

“No longer do I call you servants … but I have called you friends ...”
John 15:15 (bolding mine)

God only names Abraham and Moses as his friends in the Old Testament. In the New Testament Jesus extends the potential of this privilege to all believers.

That’s my desire. I want to be known as a friend of God.

Copyright, Sue Tell, March 2021

 

 

*The phrase, the freedom to feel, came to me at the end of my walk through the woods surrounding our home. Sitting on our bench on the edge of the trees for a moment of quiet before heading back brought it to mind. Quiet always opens space to hear.

Up to a few weeks ago Lexie would have been at my heels or sometimes leading the way. My walk felt very lonely that day. My walks still feel lonely.

It was a turning point.

For most of the week, I’d been holding back the tears. My feelings were tucked safely behind a false veneer. I did what needed to be done.

But sitting on our bench, I began to feel; I began to hear from God; I began to experience grace.

“and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me …”
I Timothy 1:14

I remembered Jesus.

John 1:35, the shortest verse recorded for us, “Jesus wept”. The context tells the story of Mary and Martha after the death of their brother Lazarus.

Jesus wept in the presence of Mary and Martha.
Jesus wept in the presence of other Jews.
Jesus allowed himself the freedom to feel.

I remembered God’s previous words to me.

God knit me together in my mother’s womb. Psalm 139:13.
God loves me with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3.
God reminded me it is with an unveiled face that I reflect his glory. II Corinthians 3:18

I remembered your love.

Your cards, your messages, your emails all offered the freedom to feel. All offered grace. Thank you.

Romans 15:5 and 6 took on new meaning. “May the God of steadfastness and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together with one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Grief and the Freedom to Feel

I can’t compare my grief with yours,
God created us each uniquely.
I can’t compare this grief with former griefs,
This grief is unique, is now.
I can’t compare my grief with those closest to me,
God created each of us uniquely.

Grief is a journey —
filled with sads,
filled with joys,
filled with memories,
offering the freedom to feel.

I’ve been strong and done the next thing.
I’ve been weak, my tears blurring the next.

All is grief.
All is grace.
All invites the freedom to feel.

“a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
Ecclesiastes 3:4

*For the back story, scroll down to “Our Sins and Our Sorrows”.

Copyright, Sue Tell, April 2021

 

 

 

 

Isaiah 53:3 and 4

3. “He was despised and rejected by men;
a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

4. Surely he has borne our griefs
and carried out sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
smitten by God, and afflicted.”

These Easter verses speak of Jesus. The next two verses are more well known. Jesus went to the cross for our transgressions and our iniquities — our sin.

Verse 3 describes Jesus as a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief. Verse 4 affirms he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows as well. Jesus also took our sorrows to the cross.

“When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, behold, your son!’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Behold, your mother!’ And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.” John 19:26, 27.

As Jesus hung on that crude wooden cross in his own great sorrow, he looked down and saw his mother and John. He saw her sorrow and provided for her.

Bill and I are experiencing great sorrow this week. Our Golden Retriever, Lexie, was euthanized. Her cancer became more than she could bear; more than we wanted for her to bear. It brought inordinate sorrow into our home, into our lives. We miss her lots.

I’m asking God, how will you meet us in this sorrow? Jesus knows our sorrow and grief.

Isaiah 53:1 asks “And to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?”

The arm of the Lord refers to the power of God in action. (ESV notes). I’m noticing the power of God in action for Bill and me from the heart of the one who knows the grief and the sorrow that is ours.

“And God said, ‘Let the earth bring forth living creatures … And God saw that it was good.'” Genesis 1:24, 25. Genesis doesn’t specifically mention dogs. But Lexie was indeed a living creature that brought us good.

I love the book Every Moment Holy by Rabbit Room Press. It is a collection of liturgies for our everyday lives. The “Loss of a Living Thing” has provided words of comfort and words of prayer for me.

“Here was your good creature, O Lord,
pondered and called to life
by your compassionate design.

Here was your good creature,
and here were the spaces and the days we
shared, enjoying the glad company
and cheerful fellowship of a fellow creature.

We made room in our lives,
room in our home, room in our hearts,
to welcome your unique creation.
And we gave your good creature the name Lexie.”

The liturgy continues for several stanzas traveling through the joy of her presence that is ended with death; our normal human response; the good memories; the longing for all to be made right; recounting the character of God; ending with great hope. Copyright only allows me to quote briefly.

Her tail wagged right up to the end; she was a Golden.

What sorrows are you living with? How are you experiencing the goodness of God in the midst of your now?

 

Copyright Sue Tell, April 2021

 

 

                                                 Photography compliments of Larry Lorimor.

I grew up in a family that held a Christian world view. Our small blue-law town affirmed it as well. Our schools were closed for Christmas break and Easter break starting with Good Friday. All the shops were closed on Sundays. It made embracing the Easter Story normal, easy. With child-like faith, I accepted it without questions. It shaped me and readied me.

As an adult who still holds fast to a Christian world view, what happened to that child-like faith? Will I always be content to adhere to “I believe, help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24) The resurrection is big belief.

Paul prayed in Philippians 3 “that I may  know Him and the power of his resurrection,” (verse 10)

What was he asking?

According to D.A. Carson, knowledge of God entails fellowship, trust, personal relationship, faith. My ESV Bible footnotes calls it an intimate knowledge.

This knowing is not superficial. Truly I knew about Easter as a child. I knew the facts. God in his grace allowed me to believe. But my believing needed to grow to knowing? That came later.

My knowing is growing as I’m growing in trust.

Earlier in Philippians, Paul encourages the young church to hold fast to the word of life. Holding fast is a credible definition of trust. When I pray, God, what would it look like to trust you today? I’m asking, God what it would look like to hold fast to your word, the truth in the scripture. God’s daily whispers are growing my knowing.

“Let us know; let us press on to know the LORD;”
Hosea 6:3

“Indeed, I count everything as loss
because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.”
Philippians 3:8

“Not that I have already obtained this … but I press on to make it my own,
because Christ Jesus has made me his own.”
Philippians 3:12

Like Paul, like Hosea my heart is to press on in knowing Jesus and his surpassing worth. To press on in trusting the wonderful resurrection story. When I look at my own life, why would I not trust? I have experienced resurrection power. I’m sure you have too. Jesus has claimed us as his own.

Peter’s heart in our knowing God includes the great promise of grace and peace and all things that pertain to life and godliness. Godliness clings to truth. Trusting truth is knowing.

“May grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.
His divine power has granted to us all things that that pertain to life and godliness,
through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence,”
II Peter 1:2, 3

My prayer for me, for you this Easter …

God, please grow our knowing.
Help us to press on in trust, to press on in knowing you.
May the power of your resurrection be our testimony, our knowing.
May the reality of grace and peace be multiplied to us
because we intimately know you. Amen.

“And this is eternal life, that they may know you
the only true God,
and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.”
John 17:3

 

Blessings to you all this Easter weekend! He is Risen! He is Risen Indeed!

 

All italics are mine.

Copyright, Sue Tell, March 2021

 

 

 

First the confession. Reading Kendra’s words on her blog, set my words in motion. Thank you, Kendra. I appreciate Kendra’s heart and her practical ideas.

The spring equinox was this week. Looking out my window, it sure doesn’t look like spring! So far 9″ of new snow are covering the 2′ of snow that came a week ago.

Since the last spring equinox, we all have been living with the reality of Covid-19 keeping many of us home with the opportunity to spring clean. There was time to look around and notice — notice the many things that no longer served the way I wanted our home to look or the practical purposes of every-day life. In some cases I wondered, what is this gadget for? I began to sort. I was  on a mission …

a mission to Keep, Share, or Toss.

There were many things I did want to keep. They were still serving our family well. Like the box of baby toys. Leah is only 11 months old.

There were things that went into a share box. Like the set of demitasse cups that are being sent to a niece. And the large cardboard box in our garage is on its third filling for Goodwill.

There were things that needed to be tossed. They no longer served their purpose for me and I was pretty sure that applied to others as well.

Beyond the practicals, God was whispering a message to me about keeping, sharing, or tossing. This was also a good time to sort spiritually.

KEEP – I asked myself, what does it look like to keep my friendship with God fresh and inviting?

“… ‘Man shall not live by bread alone,
but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.'”
Matthew 4:4

As I daily review the scriptures that remind me of the gospel, I pray more than the words, I also pray the principles the verse shares. I ask the Lord, what does it look like to trust this verse today? His answer is different each time; the circumstances of my life are different each time too. “For the word of God is living and active …” Hebrews 4:12.

I’m definitely keeping this practice.

SHARE – A new sharing door has opened and I’m loving it. Once a month, I’m sharing with ourteen-aged GRANDS.  We meet by zoom and concentrate on one verse per month. It’s a combination of Bible memory, Bible study, and Quiet time. Our verse for March is John 1:12. In April it will be Psalm 119:105.

“But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting
on those who fear him,
and his righteousness to children’s children.”
Psalm 103:17

TOSS – Some of those things I’ve tossed in the past, sneak back in. I need to practice tossing again. John 8:44 says that satan is the father of lies. There are old lies he whispers to me again with new circumstances. One example, ministry is activity. John 15:5 tells me truth, ministry is abiding.

“You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil:
my cup overflows.”
Psalm 23:5

God has prepared a wonderful table designed with my nourishment needs in mind — right in the presence of my biggest enemy, satan. I toss out those lies to feast on the truth of the Word. Once again I experience the anointing of God and my cup overflows with contentment and joy.

What about you — what spiritual spring cleaning do you need to do?

 

Copyright, Sue Tell, March 2021

 

 

 

I stood at the end of her hospital bed in the ICU. Other than a therapist, I was the only one in my sister’s room. In her quiet, trembling voice she asked, “Susan, am I dying?” I was possibly the one person she could entrust that question to.

The fray was real; a battle she was losing. I regret my words that morning.

Although true, my words skirted her reality. She knew. She didn’t pursue the conversation. A missed opportunity to offer hope and grace in her waning days.

We bear the image of God and are created to reflect and bring him glory. Speech is one of the things that set up apart from the rest of God’s creation. In that moment, my words didn’t allow my sister to see God’s glory.

During our drive home last month from Kansas, Bill and I were comparing notes sharing about his Zoom call and a text message I had received earlier that morning. Our friends were living their own fray. Their hards took my breath away. They were begging for words, words of hope. For me these words take time. I need to be praying for them. I need to be praying for me. I want my words to send the love of God in their direction. I need to listen to God who knows the words they need.

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be acceptable in your sight,
O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.”
Psalm 19:14

“The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer.”
Proverbs 15:28a

Along with a few others, these are scriptures I pray for myself regularly. I often think ahead of the people I’m pretty sure I’ll be offering words to that day from the check-out clerk to friends I know. I pray, may the words of my mouth … I want my words to give grace to those who hear.

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths,
but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion,
that it may give grace to those who hear.”
Ephesians 4:29

A few weeks ago in responding to an email from a neighbor, my words were greatly misconstrued. I could almost feel the darts coming back at me. In times like these, I want to gather my own darts. But would that be acceptable to God? Would that give grace to the neighbor? As I pondered, God helped me choose other words. The darts have ceased.

Sometimes my words are prayer words sent off to God alone.

Four friends are living their own fray of  serious cancer. Although I do connect with words they hear, I more often offer prayer words for them and their spouses. I’m thankful that in each case they let me know how to pray well. And a wonderful gift to me are their words. They share the hope they receive. Their words turned back to me minister deeply, build up, give grace. The power of their words give perspective to their circumstances.

When I consider my words, I’m learning to ask these six questions. If I don’t hear a yes, I pull-back.

Are my words true?
Are my words kind?
Are my words helpful?
Are my words necessary?
Have my words been invited?
Is this the right time for my words?

 

Copyright, Sue Tell, March 2021

 

Pregnant with our first son, everything was new — even not sleeping well. At my next visit with Dr. Lane (yes, I remember his name), my list of questions included why I was not sleeping.

He asked, Well, are you resting?
Me, Yes.
Dr. Lane, That is good. At least your resting.

I was hoping for a professional solution to my tossing and turning.  God is using those words spoken 40+ years ago to minister to me now.

“Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him,
for he shields him all day long,
and the one the LORD loves
rests between his shoulders.”
Deuteronomy 33:12, NIV

Knowing that I think much about rest, my friend Joyce texted me this scripture. Immediately I recorded it in my journal and began praying over its truth, especially the first line. As a believer and beloved of the Lord, I knew that these words were for me as much as they were for Benjamin 3000-ish years ago.

It took awhile, however, before I began experiencing their truth.

How many times have I quoted to God — just in case he forgot — “He gives His beloved sleep”? Psalm 127:2, last line. Quoted, yes, but the quote was more like a beg. Please God, let me sleep! Eventually my body would rest and succumb to sleep.

That first line of Deuteronomy 33:12 doesn’t just say rest. It says rest secure in him, in God. I’m learning what that is. Instead of begging God with Psalm 127:2, I’m learning to rest my request and rest in God. I’m learning to place my security in God where it belongs.

“Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) not only applies to waking times, it also speaks to those times I want to sleep. Be still, rest!

The applications of resting secure in him are endless. It speaks to much more than sleep.

I wonder how many times my begging prayers are setting expectations on God. God, I know you can heal my husband’s eyes. You even brought sight to a blind man. Please!
I wonder how many times my begging prayers rise from a lack of trust in God’s character.
I wonder how many times my begging prayers are not allowing God the freedom to be God.
I wonder how many times my begging prayers communicate I know what good looks like.
I wonder how many times my begging prayers are based on my timeline.

I can almost hear God saying, Sue rest your requests!

One of our favorite pastors said, if God answered all our prayers, we’d never be able to trust him.

Song of Solomon 7:10 says, “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me.” His desire … God has desires. I want to grow in trusting that his desires are good, for his glory and my good.

“What then shall we say to these thing?
If God is for us, who can be against us?”
Romans 8:31

God is for us. Let’s rest our requests.

 

Copyright, Sue Tell, February 2021

 

 

 

God continues to clarify for me how he defines pulling-back.  Sometimes it relates to meddling. Hmmmmmm, I don’t like that.

“But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer
or as a meddler.”
I Peter 4:15 (underline mine)

I forced myself to ask, why is a meddler mentioned along with those other really bad things?

Dictionary.com defines meddler as involving oneself in a matter without invitation.
The Cambridge-English dictionary says to try to have an influence on things that are not your responsibility.

Thank you to my friend Amy, my who shared with me, I often want to use my gift of discernment to “share” with my husband “insight” I think he needs to lead others. But my sinful flesh has definitely gotten mixed in with that insight. These areas are not my responsibility. I had been meddling.

I began to see the connection between pulling-back and meddling. Sometimes they are the same thing; sometimes they are not.

Allie* is going through a horrendous divorce. She is not my responsibility, but she is a friend and I do have an invitation. I am not pulling-back, I am reaching out.

Bill and I are leading a sabbatical team for Jay* and Carrie*. Our role is to ask questions that allow them to discern what they are hearing from God as opposed to giving advice or offering words to direct them. I am not pulling-back from questions; I am pulling-back from advice.

In our Sunday School community, I serve as one of the shepherds, being a friend to some of the women. I initiate; I listen; I pray. But I don’t carry responsibilities for other parts of our community. That’s where I’m learning to pull-back. They don’t need all my wonderful ideas! “It is soooooo much easier to give advice, and even think it is wanted!” Bulls-eye, Marion.

Then there are our GRANDS. Often I (we) need to discern where our participation is welcome and where do we need to pull-back.

My dear friend April shared her insight. When I am inserting myself into someone else’s place, I’m assuming someone else’s responsibility and missing my “good work”. All good things are not MY good things. 

And the applications of pulling-back continue in little decisions and big ones.

If I don’t pull-back, my time, capacity, and energy to give myself to God’s purposes for me are in jeopardy.

Back to Jonah … Jonah pulled back from what God asked him to do with dire consequences. Check out chapter 1. I heard the question from God, is there something God is asking of me and I’m pulling back?

I knew the answer right away. YES!

But I needed to pull-back, in some ares to cease meddling. This is offering me the freedom, the capacity, the energy  I need to follow God’s purposes, his good work for me.

The very next verse in I Peter 4 gives the alternative to meddling, “but let him glorify God”. That’s my heart.

Am I making sense?

*not the real name.

 

Copyright, Sue Tell, February 2021

 

One of the big themes in Jonah — perhaps the biggest — is our God is an pursuing God. What a wonderful gift to us.

As I take a look back, I see God pursuing me as a child. Even when, it wasn’t always the best motive, I wanted to attend church. I wanted to be part of our youth group. They were my people, my friends. God was pursuing me.

Relatives noticed a bent toward things of God in my life. I remember as a young teen an uncle giving me a small laminated card about the size of a business card with the words of St. Francis of Assisi.

I no longer have that little card, but I wish I did. It’s a piece of my spiritual journey.

And to this day my heart resonates with St. Francis’ prayer.

God pursued me through my Uncle Warren.

In last week’s blog I shared another piece of my story. A piece where I was trying so hard to be a good Christian as an adult serving with a mission organization. After several frustrating years I gave up, tossed that trying overboard and donned the I’m content mask. (If you missed reading it, scroll down.)

Even in my rebellion, God continued pursuing me. Just like he was pursuing Jonah. Just like he was pursuing the pagan sailors on their way to Tarshish. Just like he was pursuing the Ninevites.

Like Jonah’s actions, my actions did not, indeed could not, thwart the good plan of God. God is relentless in his pursuing.

Sally Lloyd-Jones put it this way in The Jesus Storybook Bible, Jonah is having a conversation with God in the beginning of the Jonah narrative. God asks him to go to Nineveh and “tell your worst enemies that I love them. ‘NO!’ said Jonah. ‘Those are bad people doing bad things!’ ‘Exactly,’ said God. ‘They have run far away from me. But I can’t stop loving them.’”  (italics and underline mine) God not only was pursuing the Ninevites, he was also pursuing Jonah.

“God, after He spoke long ago to the fathers in the prophets
in many portions and in many ways,”
Hebrews 1:1, NASV (italics mine)

God speaks loudly of his pursuing character of love in many ways in the Jonah narrative. He does it through his relationship with Jonah, through his desire for the Ninevites, in his sovereign intervention with the pagan sailors, and in the object lesson God uses to teach Jonah in chapter 4. God is demonstrating once again his rule over creation, his very creative ability to communicate truth, and most of all his pursuing love.

The narrative ends with God asking a pouting Jonah a question about his pursuing love. We don’t know Jonah’s answer. But in his anger, Jonah once again experienced God pursuing him.

The text doesn’t let us know how Jonah responded. What are your thoughts?

But I’m sure, God never stopped pursuing Jonah. God never stops pursuing me and you.

“… for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love …”
Jonah 4:2

Sally Lloyd-Jones puts it this way,
“Even though you’ve run far from God, he can’t stop loving you,”

Amen.

Copyright, Sue Tell, February 2021