When has love invaded you? Or, when have you invaded the life of another with your love?

Sherry invaded us with her love last month. It wasn’t her words — I don’t even remember them — but instead her actions. There she was standing in my kitchen, groceries in hand, pouring out love. She  had texted, I’m at the grocery store. Is there anything you need?

My husband had been released from the hospital. I was the healthy one — but still exhausted from the ordeal of the past several days. I prayed, God, would you nudge someone to bring us dinner tonight, please?

She didn’t bring dinner; she provided the makings. A tomato, head of lettuce, and bacon. (I had the bread.) That was the need. Sherry and her high-school-aged son just showed up. Sherry’s attention to God and their presence in my kitchen invaded our home with love.

They were God’s gracious answer to my prayer.

I don’t have words; I can just offer a hug.
I’m not a good cook; I can just offer a gift card.
Babysitting is not me; I can just offer to take care of your dog.
I live 1,000 miles away; I could just buy you a new skirt and mail it out.**
I don’t __________; I can just ____________.***

Just invading with love.

“The beauty of offering specific help … is that we get to help within our gifting.” Just Show Up, p. 38.

“Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.”
Simone Weil

Will I allow the love of Christ to compel me (II Corinthians 5:14) as Sherry allowed that day last month?

Another friend is struggling with serious cancer. I appreciate that she is keeping us updated with her journey and her prayer requests. I see her from a distance in church some Sundays. I don’t offer a hug. She asked that we give her space. Sometimes being present, and giving attention, is just  not showing up. I do pray.

Because she asked, I don’t physically show up; I just offer my prayers, and sometimes text.

“And whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward.”
Matthew 10:42, ESV
“Give a cool cup of water to someone who is thirsty, for instance.
The smallest act of giving or receiving makes you a true apprentice.”
Matthew 10:42, The Message

**This is the skirt Mary bought for me 4 years ago when I broke my leg. I dubbed it my little black skirt because I’ve worn it so many times. Thank you again, Mary for just doing what you could do from 1,000 miles away.

*** In different situations, at different times, Bill and I have been the recipient of all of these just offers. Everyone was just what we needed.

Just Show Up, by Kara Tippetts and Jill Lynn Buteyn is available on Amazon. Currently the audible book is free. https://smile.amazon.com/s?k=just+show+up+kara+tippetts&crid=IOKR6XY8L7FX&sprefix=Just+Show+Up%2Caps%2C657&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_5_12

 

 

What have the past six months been like for you? For Bill and me, it was like jumping into the deep end of the pool.

There were dream-come-true travels mixed with incredible hards. There were times of pouring out my heart to God; and times of bending my ear to listen for His voice. But for sure, it has not been the summer we expected, nor the summer Bill and I planned.

In the midst of our deep-end summer, questions proliferated. From the pre-schoolers to the nonagenarians, we were all in the deep end. God allowed us to learn from the questions of a child, our precious GRAND, Ezra.

Ezra’s maternal grandpa died in a small plane crash in June. I love Ezra’s expression as he asks his questions and listens trustingly for the answers.

Ezra bravely voiced his questions.
His questions were to understand, not challenge.
His questions were accepting of his now reality.
His questions were child-like.

“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.”
I Corinthians 13:11

Ezra modeled child-like deep-end questions and trusted the wisdom of his Grandpa Tell and the other adults surrounding him.

But describing us older ones, “For now we see in a mirror dimly … Now I know in part;”
I Corinthians 13:12

We adults don’t like the dim mirror and the partial knowledge. We go to the hard questions, the why questions wanting to make sense of the deep end.

RC Sproul once posed this rhetorical question:

Do you think you know better than God
what love looks like?

Of course not! God is love and loving is living out of his character, I say.

“And every fear shatters, breaks away,
when it turns to face the relentless, abundant love
that will not be stopped by anything.”
Ann Voskamp, The Way of Abundance

But sometimes my deep-end, unspoken questions challenge my spoken words.

Resting in the truth of I Corinthians 13:13 helps me to breathe in the deep end. “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

What about you?
What helps you believe God’s definition of love when you find yourself in the deep end?

“The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God.”
Romans 8:16

I want my default to be becoming who I am: God’s child!

 

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Have these words ministered to you? If so, please pass them on to your friends; they will probably minister to them as well.

Hello and Welcome back to Echoes of Grace.

I’m so glad you stopped by. I have missed you and I’m looking forward to re-connecting each Thursday.

This week, I want to share with you the words I penned in my journal early last month about still bearing spiritual fruit. I hope they are as inviting to you as they were to me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sat in my zero-gravity chair on the top of the hill, the shade of the evergreens and the warm breeze protecting me from the summer sun. Our cabin behind me; Lexie (our dog) lying at my back enjoying her morning nap; my view the quiet woods that surround our cabin, God’s creation.

My journal lay open on my lap, and my pen ready and available on top of the empty page. The quiet was almost deafening. Ahhhhh, rest, sabbath.

It was a Sunday morning, but really the day of the week was inconsequential. There was nothing else I was supposed to be doing. Sitting, being, enjoying the presence of God.

“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.”
Exodus 20:8

This indeed was a holy time.

Even the questions I’d been pondering over the summer were absent that morning.

God was indeed present. Although it wasn’t green pastures and still waters, he was restoring my soul. He was with me, shepherding me, comforting me, whispering to me, anointing me. His goodness and mercy were real.

A picture of God’s promise that morning: the mature pine trees anchored in the soil beneath them still bearing fruit in their old age. I rested with that truth.

“The righteous flourish … planted in the house of the LORD;
They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green,
to declare that the LORD is upright; he is my rock
and there is no unrighteousness in him.”
Psalm 92:12-15 (italics mine)

Two Importants:

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And if this has ministered to you, please share it with your friends; I bet it will encourage them as well.

 

 

 

My sister texted the day of Stan’s visitation, “Hope the family finds peace and hope in the service.” Hope and peace in the midst of the tragedy of Stan’s sudden death. Really?

My favorite verse on hope immediately came to mind,

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing,
so that by the power of the Holy Spirit, you may abound in hope.”
Romans 15:13

Three BIG words: hope, peace, and joy.

Hope – YES!

I’m so thankful for the hope of heaven. C.S. Lewis said, “If you live for the next world (heaven), you get this one (earth) in the deal; but if you live only for this world, you lose them both.”

Stan’s son Andrew referred to this quotation in his words at the memorial service.

Stan was a man who lived for heaven; he knew the love of Jesus and it was reflected in his life. As Andrew mentioned he wasn’t interested in a legacy but in planting those tiny eternal mustard seeds that would grow into large trees providing a home and rest for many birds.

“It is the smallest of all seeds, but when it has grown
it is larger than all the garden plants and becomes a tree,
so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.”
Matthew 13:32

As a husband, as a father and grand-father, as a friend, and as a doctor, the seeds that Stan planted have taken root and grown. Many are resting in that legacy that Stan never set out to leave. I’m so thankful to have called him friend.

And hope leads to peace.

Peace – YES!

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith,
we have peace with God …”
Romans 5:1

Our peace rests in God, not in the circumstances of our lives. It is a peace beyond which the world can offer.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.
Not as the world gives do I give to you.
Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
John 14:27

That familiar scripture I memorized years ago leaves me with an option: am I willing in the midst of my tears to trust its truth?

J.R.R. Tolkien, decidedly the greatest author of the twentieth century said through his character Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings, “There are sorrows in this world so great that their tears are never wiped away in this life.”

But Joy???

I am thankful for the hope of heaven. I am thankful for the peace God offers. But  joy? Stan’s large extended family is in shock. They are hurting greatly. Bill and I are hurting. Stan’s death was a tragedy – that word I understand, but joy?

Yet joy met us.

Psalm 16:11 has long been another favorite. This chalkboard was prominently displayed at the visitation and funeral.  “In your presence there is fullness of joy;” That’s Stan’s reality– and our hope.

As Andrew recounted for us many of the things his father loved, he concluded with this thought, “In the waves of grief and tears there is a joy over our father’s life.”

At the graveside service which our son Jeff (Stan’s son-in-law) officiated, he too spoke of joy. “We are committing Stan’s body to the ground for a time … we do this in profound sorrow, and yet, there is joy. For to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”

And in the words of the songs we sang joy was present.

I can’t explain it. But something had changed as we walked back through the woods leaving Stan’s body in his grave. There was an okay-ness.

We had been reminded of our hope as believers.
We were experiencing peace we couldn’t explain.
And yes, there was a quiet joy.

Memories continue flooding back.
Tears continue to flow.
Dreams testify to our new reality.
Hope, peace, and joy offer truth and comfort.

Things I loved about Stan …

Stan sang Happy Birthday to every baby he delivered.  His daughter Aubrey (our daughter-in-love) is carrying on this legacy.

 

 

 

 

Stan took many mission trips with Volunteers in Medical Missions. In this picture he’s closely supervising his daughter and soon-to-be doctor. I’m very thankful that Jeff was able to also accompany them. His aptitude in speaking and reading Spanish was a great asset.

 

 

 

Stan took Bill and me up in his first Cessna. We flew over Lake Keowee. Yes, I was scared at first.

 

 

 

 

 

Stan loved to fly above the clouds to watch the sun rise.

 

 

 

Stan, and Carol too, knew how to do friendship. And I look forward to continuing to build our friendship with Carol. This was snapped in Greenville, SC, October 2017.

 

 

 

And one more memory. This conversation happened at the Visitation.

“Grandpa [Tell], where are Papa Stan’s bones?” Ezra, 4 1/2 years old.

 

 

 

 

At Stan’s request, Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus) was sung at his Memorial Service. You can listen to it here.

And this is the song Andrew, Aubrey, Austin, Abram, and Elise (Austin’s wife) sang at the graveside service, the picture above.

Dr. Stan Rampey
Husband to Carol; father to Andrew, Aubrey, Austin, & Abram.
Grandfather to 10 precious littles.
Greatly loved by his large extended family and many, many friends including Bill and me.
October 18, 1951 – June 12, 2019

 

Echoes of Grace remains on a semi-sabbatical for a few more weeks and plans to return, Thursday, September 12! Mark your calendars.

 

 

Last week at my eye appointment an older couple with a Mastiff “puppy” their service dog in training, shared the waiting room with me. He was kind of the size of a horse and definitely very puppy-ish. The frustrated owner ordered his pup over and over and over in a rather loud voice, settle!

That was the first of four times in the next three days that I heard the word settle. Hmmm, sometimes God speaks with a rather loud voice.

As a verb, one of the definitions of settle is to make quiet or orderly or calm; to come to rest; when speaking of an animal, to impregnate (to create new life). Merriam Webster Dictionary, parentheses mine.

Six years ago I was asking the question, what does it look like to continue to mature spiritually, to bear fruit in old age. (I wasn’t there yet, I just wanted to be prepared.)

A few months ago, the question morphed to, what does stewardship look like at this stage of my life. (Old age was a tad closer – still not there yet.)

Six years ago I was looking for something to fan my spiritual growth. Perhaps seminary; perhaps a spiritual director certificate; perhaps _____? Interesting – God’s answer was not something that was on my radar, God brought his answer to me.

Now there is a different trajectory to my question. God is not leading to another program; I’m thinking stewardship is settling into who God created me to be.

As I’ve been pondering my question, I’ve also been reading Emily P. Freeman’s newest book, The Next Right Thing. (Highly recommended even if you’re not looking for a ‘next’.) This is the second place the word settle popped up. (The other times came in conversations with others.)

“What if your next right thing is to settle in
right where you are
and come back home to yourself?”
p. 192, italics mine

 

Summer is just a week old. Summer is the time Bill and I enjoy many quiet days at our Sanctuary, our small cabin tucked in the Wet Mountains of Colorado.

God’s message to me is Sue, settle. Be where you are. For this summer, listen for my love, don’t ponder the next.

 

For now, stewardship is
settling into the gift of summer,
the gift of white space,
the gift of rest.

I’m reminded of Psalm 32:9, “Be not like a horse or a mule (or an untrained Mastiff puppy), without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you.” Interestingly, God’s word in the previous verse, “I will instruct you and teach you … I will counsel you …”

“Long before he laid down the earth’s foundations,
he had us in mind,
had settled on us as the focus of his love …”
Ephesians 1:4, The Message Translation

Settle is an application of my word for 2019, secure.

Echoes of Grace continues on a semi-sabbatical until fall when I look forward to connecting with you regularly again.

 

Janet Newberry

 

I’ve been playing with two words:
“must” and “need.”

I can’t tell you how it started, but it started a while ago. Doug and I are recovering 3’s on the Enneagram…so a few months ago he made this sign and hung it on the ‘frig in Freedom (our Airstream.)

It’s a big deal for us.

Part of the big deal is because we had to hack through the lie jungle of our performance-obsessed culture that offers us a toxic soup of “only weak people have needs” stirred in with “don’t be needy” and garnished with a generous heap of an accusatory “selfish!”

Part of the big deal is that we were so tight with “must” instead of “need.” Must is a master.

Must can come from parents and preachers and friends and foes. Media offers us “must” and social media floods us with it.

Must too often directs our gaze…and therefore our lives, instead of “needs.”

“I must not upset mom.”
“I must not disappoint dad.”
“I must make good grades.”
“I must earn enough money.”
“I must deserve your kindness.”
“I must be skinny and have fake eyelashes.”
“I must have a tattoo and a great big beard.”
“I must eat some more.”
“I must drink some more.”
“I must smoke…or I must snort…”
“I must stare at this screen all night.”

Must convinces us that we can have whatever we want and fails to tell us that whatever we want isn’t going to satisfy us. Instead we feel selfish and sick–

and now Must gives us different ideas to medicate our symptoms. Shame tells us we Must have more…of what isn’t satisfying. Shame laughs at us in our addictions.

And there is another way. Humility invites us into the Light…to rest…and adjust the eyes of our soul to a different compass.

Need comes close enough to quietly offer affirmation and attention. Need offers us the gift of redemption.

Need says, “Can I show you a different way? Follow Me.”

Need never says, “Must.”
Need always says, “Trust.”

Need teaches us a different perspective–based on needs, instead of musts.

“I need sleep; I’ll trust mom and go to bed now.”
“I need help with my homework; I’ll ask dad.”
“I need to be heard; thank you for listening.”
“I need to be seen; thank you for noticing.”
“I need to have an impact and an influence; I’ll help with this project.”
“I need to grow in the direction of my dreams; I’ll learn from those who can teach me and help me grow up.”
“I need to help others–it’s who I am.”

When our needs are met, we feel alive. We experience wholeness.

When we get sick, Need offers healing–not shame or addiction.

Let’s tell our children. Let’s lead them out of the jungle of lies…before Must becomes their Master instead of just a toxic friendship.

There is great hope.

In the last 10 months, I’ve traveled with Bill through 21 of the 24 time zones. I’m beginning to harvest many thoughts God has been whispering. Here are 10 of them – in no particular order.

1. In the midst of the excitement of travel, it is good to be home and enjoy the quietness and the beauty adorning our deck. Bill and I thought about not putting annuals out this year because of not being home much.  But as I sat on outside last week with my coffee enjoying the crisp blue Colorado sky, I knew if even for a few weeks, planting annuals would minister to my soul. I’m so glad we did.
2. The topic of rest is never far from my thinking (as you know). And as I’ve continued to ponder that, I’m continuing to learn. One of my thoughts, soul rest requires as much priority as physical rest. More about that later.
   

   Summer School in Arbroath, Scotland

   3. Weights – those things that can be good, and well, also weighty.

“… let us also lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,”
Hebrews 12:1

Last week in Scotland I taught on the 7 “let us” phrases from Hebrews 10 and 12. This is my desire, to keep running the race God has set before me. So I’m pondering, what good weights are in my life, weights that are right for another, but not for me that I should lay aside?

Actually it was my preparation for the seminar and my friend Marion who got me thinking about this. As we enjoyed lunch together just before our trip, she shared about some good things that are weights for her. So I’m asking God, are there weights in my life that I need to put down?

Older woman still need older woman. This is one of my mantras these days.

4. I’m not good at multi-tasking.

5. Two current favorite quotes:

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap
but by the seeds that you plant.”
Robert Louis Stevenson

“In the coming world, I will not be asked,
‘Why were you not Moses?’
I will be asked,
‘Why were you not Zusya?'”
from the story of Hassadic Rabbi Zusya

6. The wisdom of Psalm 23:1. I look at this stone, a gift from 2 friends after Mom died, and pray, thank you, that you are my shepherd. What does it look like to trust that today?

7. Repentance Reminder – this is my title for a blog that’s coming this fall when I’ll share more of this story. But for now, God faithfully reminds me,

” … I have loved you with an everlasting love;
therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.”
Jeremiah 31:3

8. How convenient. This chocolate cafe was right around the corner from our AirBnB where we were staying in Edinburgh.

9. Hamish and David, along with Matthew led our worship in Scotland. It was a highlight of our time. I wanted to import them to the US. And it led me to think about our travels. From Singapore where 17 different countries were represented, to the cruise we went on with Mercy Me in January, to Saint Paul’s Cathedral in London where I couldn’t help but participate in their communion service, to seeing the Church of the Holy Rude in Stirling, Scotland, the home of the King James Bible, I’ve been experiencing the joy of worship.

“Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken,
and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship,
with reverence and awe,”
Hebrews 12:28

10. Another current question I’m pondering, what does stewardship look like at this point in my journey?

What about you, what have you been thinking about lately?

Reminder: Echoes of Grace is on a semi-sabbatical until fall. I will continue to post a few of my favorite blogs from others over the summer once in a while … and possibly jump in myself as well, like this week. I love communicating with you.

To make sure you never miss one of these posts, sign up to follow Echoes of Grace. Or send me your email and I’ll sign you up, sue@suetell.com.

 

Carolyn Watts shares Creating Space for You Soul to Breathe.

I love Dr. Carolyn Watts words shared from her experience as a medical missionary and her now desires. You’ll note in the very beginning that she penned this blog before Easter. But I’m finding the lessons she shares very applicable as I move into the summer months. I hope you do too.

A reminder, as I’m taking a semi-sabbatical from Echoes of Grace I’m sharing words of other friends once in a while that I think you will appreciate.

As this post is going live, Bill and I are in Scotland, both enjoying a country we’ve never before visited and speaking at their annual “summer school”. Bill is their keynote speaker. I’m giving a seminar on not growing weary. This is my first experience speaking outside of the USA. I’d appreciate your prayers.

Beauty – one of the ways God communicates his love.

“As the Father has love me, so have I loved you.”
John 15:9

Jesus gives love because he has received and experienced the love of his Father.

I too am only able to give love if I have received and experienced love. Receiving is a BIG deal!

If you grew up in a Christian church, possibly one of the first scriptures you learned was
John 3:16, “For God so loved the world …” And maybe the first song you learned as a young child was Jesus Loves Me, This I know.

That was true for me. I knew the words. I could recite them from memory. Jesus Loves Me was the regular lullaby I sang to our young sons.

But knowing the words, for me, for many years, didn’t translate into receiving and experiencing the truth of the words.

Knowing is different from receiving and experiencing.

For the past several years I’ve been an adjunct faculty advisor for an on-line course. A few weeks ago the lectures revolved around our love needs (not the Five Love Languages); they are needs that God created in all of us that he wants to meet for us.

Needs … not weaknesses.

Seven needs were suggested. The need for security, acceptance, attention, to trust and be trusted, direction, protection, and significance. All are met in relationship with God and others.

I can nod my head in agreement and feel frustrated at the same time. The message the words are speaking are not my reality. Or I can nod my head and remember how God indeed did meet me in each of these places. The difference is not in the knowing, but in the experiencing and remembering.

I can know about God’s love.
But to experience the reality of God’s love, I need to remember.

There is an old spiritual discipline, Examen, that leads me in remembering.

When Bill (my husband) and I talk about our love languages and which we most greatly appreciate, Bill’s words are always, I like them all!

This too is true of our love needs. We not only like them, we need them.

“Love is the process of meeting needs.”
Bill Thrall

Last weekend was a good weekend. As I remembered how God met my love needs, I could fill in every blank.

The need for attention is fulfilled by servant love. God loves me through others. When we sat at the round table as the other filed out, I experienced my need for attention being fulfilled. Our conversation revolved around her and her need for prayer. But as she trusted me with her reality, I experienced God’s love;  she did too as I offered her my attention.

Later in the afternoon I experienced my need for protection through Bill as he guided me through some of my thoughts as I prepare to speak in a couple of weeks. It was good.

The next morning as I sipped my coffee on our deck, I purposefully and methodically traveled through each of the seven love needs and remembered how God met me.  Although I don’t think of this term very often, I was practicing Examen. It was good. I was a receiver of God’s love and I remembered. Receiving is a BIG deal!

“The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
Your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever.
Do not forsake the work of your hands.”
Psalm 138:8 (italics mine)

 

 

 

Once again I want to share a post from one of my friends. This quarter Kristen and I are in the same Sunday School class … oops, Sunday Community. (Some things just die hard.) When I read her words, they touched my heart and I knew I wanted to share them with you.

Sometime receiving just seems so difficult. This winter as I struggled with some physical issues, the thought of having to receive love in newer ways from my husband was hard for me. I have no problems with offering love. But somehow receiving touches my pride. OUCH!

When Receiving Love Feels Like the Hardest Thing to Do

Have you been following Echoes of Grace for a while? If so, you might remember I wrote about receiving during Advent. Some lessons just need to be learned over and over.

Even though Echoes is on a semi-sabbatical, I’ll be popping in occasionally to share good stuff with you.