Janet Newberry

 

I’ve been playing with two words:
“must” and “need.”

I can’t tell you how it started, but it started a while ago. Doug and I are recovering 3’s on the Enneagram…so a few months ago he made this sign and hung it on the ‘frig in Freedom (our Airstream.)

It’s a big deal for us.

Part of the big deal is because we had to hack through the lie jungle of our performance-obsessed culture that offers us a toxic soup of “only weak people have needs” stirred in with “don’t be needy” and garnished with a generous heap of an accusatory “selfish!”

Part of the big deal is that we were so tight with “must” instead of “need.” Must is a master.

Must can come from parents and preachers and friends and foes. Media offers us “must” and social media floods us with it.

Must too often directs our gaze…and therefore our lives, instead of “needs.”

“I must not upset mom.”
“I must not disappoint dad.”
“I must make good grades.”
“I must earn enough money.”
“I must deserve your kindness.”
“I must be skinny and have fake eyelashes.”
“I must have a tattoo and a great big beard.”
“I must eat some more.”
“I must drink some more.”
“I must smoke…or I must snort…”
“I must stare at this screen all night.”

Must convinces us that we can have whatever we want and fails to tell us that whatever we want isn’t going to satisfy us. Instead we feel selfish and sick–

and now Must gives us different ideas to medicate our symptoms. Shame tells us we Must have more…of what isn’t satisfying. Shame laughs at us in our addictions.

And there is another way. Humility invites us into the Light…to rest…and adjust the eyes of our soul to a different compass.

Need comes close enough to quietly offer affirmation and attention. Need offers us the gift of redemption.

Need says, “Can I show you a different way? Follow Me.”

Need never says, “Must.”
Need always says, “Trust.”

Need teaches us a different perspective–based on needs, instead of musts.

“I need sleep; I’ll trust mom and go to bed now.”
“I need help with my homework; I’ll ask dad.”
“I need to be heard; thank you for listening.”
“I need to be seen; thank you for noticing.”
“I need to have an impact and an influence; I’ll help with this project.”
“I need to grow in the direction of my dreams; I’ll learn from those who can teach me and help me grow up.”
“I need to help others–it’s who I am.”

When our needs are met, we feel alive. We experience wholeness.

When we get sick, Need offers healing–not shame or addiction.

Let’s tell our children. Let’s lead them out of the jungle of lies…before Must becomes their Master instead of just a toxic friendship.

There is great hope.

In the last 10 months, I’ve traveled with Bill through 21 of the 24 time zones. I’m beginning to harvest many thoughts God has been whispering. Here are 10 of them – in no particular order.

1. In the midst of the excitement of travel, it is good to be home and enjoy the quietness and the beauty adorning our deck. Bill and I thought about not putting annuals out this year because of not being home much.  But as I sat on outside last week with my coffee enjoying the crisp blue Colorado sky, I knew if even for a few weeks, planting annuals would minister to my soul. I’m so glad we did.
2. The topic of rest is never far from my thinking (as you know). And as I’ve continued to ponder that, I’m continuing to learn. One of my thoughts, soul rest requires as much priority as physical rest. More about that later.
   

   Summer School in Arbroath, Scotland

   3. Weights – those things that can be good, and well, also weighty.

“… let us also lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,”
Hebrews 12:1

Last week in Scotland I taught on the 7 “let us” phrases from Hebrews 10 and 12. This is my desire, to keep running the race God has set before me. So I’m pondering, what good weights are in my life, weights that are right for another, but not for me that I should lay aside?

Actually it was my preparation for the seminar and my friend Marion who got me thinking about this. As we enjoyed lunch together just before our trip, she shared about some good things that are weights for her. So I’m asking God, are there weights in my life that I need to put down?

Older woman still need older woman. This is one of my mantras these days.

4. I’m not good at multi-tasking.

5. Two current favorite quotes:

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap
but by the seeds that you plant.”
Robert Louis Stevenson

“In the coming world, I will not be asked,
‘Why were you not Moses?’
I will be asked,
‘Why were you not Zusya?'”
from the story of Hassadic Rabbi Zusya

6. The wisdom of Psalm 23:1. I look at this stone, a gift from 2 friends after Mom died, and pray, thank you, that you are my shepherd. What does it look like to trust that today?

7. Repentance Reminder – this is my title for a blog that’s coming this fall when I’ll share more of this story. But for now, God faithfully reminds me,

” … I have loved you with an everlasting love;
therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.”
Jeremiah 31:3

8. How convenient. This chocolate cafe was right around the corner from our AirBnB where we were staying in Edinburgh.

9. Hamish and David, along with Matthew led our worship in Scotland. It was a highlight of our time. I wanted to import them to the US. And it led me to think about our travels. From Singapore where 17 different countries were represented, to the cruise we went on with Mercy Me in January, to Saint Paul’s Cathedral in London where I couldn’t help but participate in their communion service, to seeing the Church of the Holy Rude in Stirling, Scotland, the home of the King James Bible, I’ve been experiencing the joy of worship.

“Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken,
and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship,
with reverence and awe,”
Hebrews 12:28

10. Another current question I’m pondering, what does stewardship look like at this point in my journey?

What about you, what have you been thinking about lately?

Reminder: Echoes of Grace is on a semi-sabbatical until fall. I will continue to post a few of my favorite blogs from others over the summer once in a while … and possibly jump in myself as well, like this week. I love communicating with you.

To make sure you never miss one of these posts, sign up to follow Echoes of Grace. Or send me your email and I’ll sign you up, sue@suetell.com.

 

Carolyn Watts shares Creating Space for You Soul to Breathe.

I love Dr. Carolyn Watts words shared from her experience as a medical missionary and her now desires. You’ll note in the very beginning that she penned this blog before Easter. But I’m finding the lessons she shares very applicable as I move into the summer months. I hope you do too.

A reminder, as I’m taking a semi-sabbatical from Echoes of Grace I’m sharing words of other friends once in a while that I think you will appreciate.

As this post is going live, Bill and I are in Scotland, both enjoying a country we’ve never before visited and speaking at their annual “summer school”. Bill is their keynote speaker. I’m giving a seminar on not growing weary. This is my first experience speaking outside of the USA. I’d appreciate your prayers.

Beauty – one of the ways God communicates his love.

“As the Father has love me, so have I loved you.”
John 15:9

Jesus gives love because he has received and experienced the love of his Father.

I too am only able to give love if I have received and experienced love. Receiving is a BIG deal!

If you grew up in a Christian church, possibly one of the first scriptures you learned was
John 3:16, “For God so loved the world …” And maybe the first song you learned as a young child was Jesus Loves Me, This I know.

That was true for me. I knew the words. I could recite them from memory. Jesus Loves Me was the regular lullaby I sang to our young sons.

But knowing the words, for me, for many years, didn’t translate into receiving and experiencing the truth of the words.

Knowing is different from receiving and experiencing.

For the past several years I’ve been an adjunct faculty advisor for an on-line course. A few weeks ago the lectures revolved around our love needs (not the Five Love Languages); they are needs that God created in all of us that he wants to meet for us.

Needs … not weaknesses.

Seven needs were suggested. The need for security, acceptance, attention, to trust and be trusted, direction, protection, and significance. All are met in relationship with God and others.

I can nod my head in agreement and feel frustrated at the same time. The message the words are speaking are not my reality. Or I can nod my head and remember how God indeed did meet me in each of these places. The difference is not in the knowing, but in the experiencing and remembering.

I can know about God’s love.
But to experience the reality of God’s love, I need to remember.

There is an old spiritual discipline, Examen, that leads me in remembering.

When Bill (my husband) and I talk about our love languages and which we most greatly appreciate, Bill’s words are always, I like them all!

This too is true of our love needs. We not only like them, we need them.

“Love is the process of meeting needs.”
Bill Thrall

Last weekend was a good weekend. As I remembered how God met my love needs, I could fill in every blank.

The need for attention is fulfilled by servant love. God loves me through others. When we sat at the round table as the other filed out, I experienced my need for attention being fulfilled. Our conversation revolved around her and her need for prayer. But as she trusted me with her reality, I experienced God’s love;  she did too as I offered her my attention.

Later in the afternoon I experienced my need for protection through Bill as he guided me through some of my thoughts as I prepare to speak in a couple of weeks. It was good.

The next morning as I sipped my coffee on our deck, I purposefully and methodically traveled through each of the seven love needs and remembered how God met me.  Although I don’t think of this term very often, I was practicing Examen. It was good. I was a receiver of God’s love and I remembered. Receiving is a BIG deal!

“The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
Your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever.
Do not forsake the work of your hands.”
Psalm 138:8 (italics mine)

 

 

 

Once again I want to share a post from one of my friends. This quarter Kristen and I are in the same Sunday School class … oops, Sunday Community. (Some things just die hard.) When I read her words, they touched my heart and I knew I wanted to share them with you.

Sometime receiving just seems so difficult. This winter as I struggled with some physical issues, the thought of having to receive love in newer ways from my husband was hard for me. I have no problems with offering love. But somehow receiving touches my pride. OUCH!

When Receiving Love Feels Like the Hardest Thing to Do

Have you been following Echoes of Grace for a while? If so, you might remember I wrote about receiving during Advent. Some lessons just need to be learned over and over.

Even though Echoes is on a semi-sabbatical, I’ll be popping in occasionally to share good stuff with you.

 

I had the privilege of meeting Emily Freeman 3 1/2 years ago. Not the best picture I know, but it brings back wonderful memories. I’ve read three of Emily’s past four books. All have ministered deeply to my heart. And her writing just gets better and better. I’m looking forward to receiving my copy of her newest book, released just this week, the Next Right Thing.

This story she penned recently, Don’t Give Your Critic Words, shares a principle that has become  important for me and for anyone who wants to hear God’s love for them. As I’ve practiced this I’ve used other terms. But Emily’s words communicate so well. May you be blessed as you read them.

I trust you’re enjoying the words of others while Echoes of Grace is on a semi-sabbatical.

 

 

 

Although Echoes of Grace is on a semi-sabbatical (check my previous post) until September, I will be popping in occasionally to say hello and share a new blog. Writing helps me process what I’m hearing from God and I trust will also minister to you.

And if I come across something from another writer that I think you’d appreciate, I’ll share that too. Like this 2 minute video that was played in church a few weeks ago, although not a blog, its message is so Good!!

And a song my friend Kathy shared with me, an old hymn to a contemporary tune. Enjoy. The sentence that keeps standing out to me, “I am finding out the greatness of thy loving heart.”

https://www.praisecharts.com/songs/details/21272/jesus-i-am-resting-resting-sheet-music

 

 

I collect pictures of paths. I love this one from just a few weeks ago in California. Yup, snow is not blanketing everywhere! I wish I could have been hiking that day with Judah, Naomi, and Ezra.

“You make known to me the path of life;” My guess is you have noticed those words from Psalm 16:11 on the home page of Echoes of Grace. (The path behind those words is in Texas.)

The last several weeks, God has been whispering that his path for me needs to take a rest stop, a semi-sabbatical.

I need to understand more about rest: physically, spiritually, and emotionally. And a bit of a time-out is the need of the hour.

Recently a friend shared these words, “Jesus could sleep through the external storm because he had an internal peace that the storm couldn’t shake.” These words spoken about the narrative of Jesus and the disciples recorded in Mark 4 could have said that Jesus’ ability to rest was not predicated on his outward realities. I’m challenged.

So I’ve made the very hard decision to give Echoes of Grace a six month semi-sabbatical.

“Semi” because writing is in my blood and ministry to you is as well.

So during the next six months, although I’ll not be posting weekly on Echoes of Grace, I will post once in a while. Writing helps me process what God is doing in my life. And I imagine some of you are in similar places and the words I’m hearing may be just what you need to hear as well.

And sometimes I’ll share the writing of one of my friends, only the really good stuff.

If you want to make sure you don’t miss any posts on Echoes, and you haven’t already signed up to “follow” Echoes of Grace, please do so; or send me your email address (sue@suetell.com) and I’ll make sure you’re notified when a new blog is posted.

My desire these next six months to understand more about rest by going more deeply into God’s throne room of Grace.

“Be still and know that I am God.”
Psalm 46:10a

“But on some points I have written to you very boldly by way of reminder,”
Romans 15:15a (italics mine)

 

I grew up in New Jersey, a 45 minute drive from New York City via this two story engineering marvel across the Hudson River. Did I tell you that my Grandpa was the chief electrician for the project? And my Uncle John was the general electrical foreman when the lower level was added in the 1960s.

As a child we needed this bridge to visit my great grandparents and at Christmas to visit Santa Claus in the Macy’s store on 5th Avenue. (I still remember how Mom dressed us for that yearly trek.)

The George Washington Bridge was the key to these visits.

And often a book is key, the needed bridge to visit with God.

It was a Thursday on a chilly spring day. I was visiting one of my favorite spots to meet with God, a quiet corner, a comfy sofa, and the fireplace for extra warmth surrounded by my coffee, my journal, my Bible, and a book by a favorite author, Brennan Manning.

I sipped my coffee as I turned to the bookmark in the Manning book. (I’m not remembering the title at the moment.) Brennan’s writing was the bridge that was about to transport me into the presence of God.

He often starts his chapters with a scripture before the first paragraph. And there it was in flashing neon lights (or printed on lovely pink flowers).

WOW, another scripture telling of God’s love. And more than that assuring me that God has desires for me. Those ten words were the bridge. I did two things: I recorded them in my leather journal, that place where I record really important stuff to continue to pray over. And I turned to Romans 8, another place where God assures me that he is for me with the rhetorical question, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (verse 31)

I could have packed up and headed home right then. But I didn’t. I continued reading through the richness of Romans 8. It was good!

Unlike some, my devotional life usually does not travel down the path of reading through one book of the Bible at a time. I jump around. Where is it that God wants to grab my attention today? That day God knew it was important that I hear his truths in Song of Solomon and Romans.

Sometimes my devotional time feels dry. I need help.

Often it is a book that bridges me to God’s word.

But most often, my own leather journal is the book that
is the bridge to God’s word for me. I make it a practice to start my quiet time reviewing my recordings here.

Recorded in ink in this well-worn volume are many scriptures, like Song of Solomon 7:10, that speak of God’s love for me. There are pages that record God’s purpose for my life.

In another place I’ve written the verses that tell me truth when I tend to trip over lies that are often too close to the surface of my memory.

As I review those words, my prayer very often is something like this, What would it look like to trust this truth today?

And very often books are the bridge that usher me into God’s presence.

What are the books, the quotes, the hymns that offer you a bridge to God’s word?

“But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
The LORD is my portion, says my soul,
therefore I will hope in him.”
Lamentations 3:21-24

Copyright, Sue Tell, February 2019

 

 

 

 

Saul was on his way to Damascus when a light from heaven shone around him causing him to fall to the ground.

And then, Saul’s (later known as Paul) first conversation with Jesus happened …  before he knew him personally.

 

“We love because he first loved us.”
I John 4:18

Jesus initiated, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” (Acts 9:4)

Saul responded, “”Who are you Lord?” (Acts 9:5) Saul, the enemy of the disciples of Jesus, the one breathing murderous threats against them, immediately recognized the voice of Jesus and called him “Lord”.  May I be so quick to recognize when Jesus initiates towards me!

“I am Jesus … rise and enter the city, and you will be told what you are to do.” (Acts 9:5, 6)

Saul got up. His eyes were open, but he saw nothing. He was blind for three days. His traveling companions also heard the voice but saw no-one; they were totally flummoxed as they led Saul by the hand the rest of the journey to Damascus.

Enter Ananias, God’s chosen one to deliver the message of Saul’s destiny to him:

1. He is a chosen instrument of mine.
   2. He will carry my name to both Jews and Gentiles.
   3. There will be suffering.
   Acts 9:15, 16

In his writings Paul (formerly Saul) refers to other hardships.

In his letter to the Corinthian church Paul refers to his thorn in the flesh that he begged for the Lord to remove.                 (II Corinthians 12:7, 8) Wikipedia describes a ‘thorn in the flesh’ as a phrase of New Testament origin speaking of a chronic infirmity, an annoyance, or trouble. Pretty accurate, I’d say.

In Paul’s letter to the Galatians, he says, “See with what large letters I am writing to you with my own hand.” (Galatians 6:11)

As I read and ponder Paul’s story of his temporary blindness and other issues, what am I hearing, how am I responding?

I wonder …

Did Paul’s eye issues continue after his sight was restored?

I think about our story …

Bill’s blind spots don’t seem to be temporary, but they are spots, not total blindness like Paul’s.
Like Paul, Bill is a chosen instrument to bring  God’s message of grace and freedom.
Like Paul, Bill’s Naion (blind spots) are part of his story.

As I review my journal and the words God has spoken to me, I believe Bill’s Naion has not altered these truths.

Both of us have valuable and indispensable contributions in God’s story.
As we live those out, we encourage others to live out their stories as well.

God’s purposes for us individually are not compromised in the ‘we’.
As a matter of fact, I believe they shine.

“the LORD opens the eyes of the blind.
The LORD lifts up those who are bowed down;
the LORD loves the righteous.”
Psalm 146:8

“Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh.
Is anything to hard for me?”
Jeremiah 32:27

I am continuing to pray that God will restore Bill’s vision.

“‘But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you,
my power is made perfect in weakness.’
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of weaknesses,
so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
II Corinthians 12:7

This is the third in the series of our Naion journey. Scroll down to read more of the story that I wrote last week and the week before.