Veni; Vidi; Vici – I came; I saw; I conquered – (Julius Ceasar’s words in 47 BC reporting on his short war with Pharmaces II of Pontus) returns to my memory. Mr. Deeks would be proud of me. J

Jesus’ response to the wars or the storms of life is different from Ceasar. Jesus physical presence is not necessary for him to see. But because he sees, he comes; and when he comes, he conquers.

The story of Jesus sending the disciples across the lake without him is recorded in three of the gospels and encourages me. Jesus stays back to get time by himself in the mountains to pray. I get that. There are times when I want to send all the people away, be by myself and pray. This week is one of those times.

Actually any week when I return home from traveling is one of those times. After being with people, restoration for me is time alone. But sometimes alone times are interrupted by the storms of life. This particular time, Jesus was interrupted by a storm on the lake near where the disciples were. Jesus saw – he didn’t need to be physically present in the boat with the disciples do know about the storm – he saw. He also knew their fears. Jesus came.

Jesus is aware of my storms – this one, an overwhelming sense of helplessness. Jesus sees and he comes in the form of a letter from a friend that arrived while I was gone. Tears come as I read the words that prod me to see God in my current situation. The letter initiated a restorative alone time for me in the midst of my storm.

The gospel story continues. As Jesus walks the three miles across the lake toward the boat with his friends aboard and comes close enough for them to see him – or see something (a ghost perhaps) – they are afraid – BIG time. Knowing their fear, Jesus speaks, Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid. These reassuring words come in the midst of the storm. The winds cease. Jesus conquers the storm.

Oh how I need those words, Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid. Jesus is not only aware of my storm; he enters my storm; and he conquers the storm. I do not need to fear. In the quietness of pondering my friend’s words, the storm quiets.

There are still many questions swirling around the now smaller storm. But for now there is peace. Jesus is in the boat with me. He sees; he comes; he conquers.

“The Lord is at hand (near); do not be anxious about anything,”
Philippians 4:5,6 (parentheses mine)

I’m a mom; I understand wanting to fix things; I hate when my kids hurt – I just want to fix it – whatever it is. A friend articulates this well, “I just want to fix it and I can’t”.  Frustration multiplies. Moms aren’t alone in this struggle; this issue camouflages itself in a variety of relationships and in a variety of settings.

Recently my frustrated fixer quirk rears its head in a Bible study I do with friends. I so want her to understand – to capture the practical implications of the passage. My questions fail to bring the desired responses; that is, my desired responses.

Later reviewing my underlines from a recent book, the proverbial light bulb comes on; I am convicted.

“Congregation is a company of people who are defined by their creation in the image of God, living souls, whether they know it or not. They are not problems to be fixed, but mysteries to be honored and revered. … they are known not by what is wrong with them, but by who they are, just as they are.”
Eugene Peterson, The Pastor (italics mine)

I remember another book I read several years ago.

“I couldn’t help but imagine what my world would be like if I looked at the human beings I was closest to as holy and treated them with the same sense of respect … I try to look deeper into his heart, at the human being behind the role of husband, father, educator.”
Joan Anderson, A Year By The Sea (italics mine)

My author-friends fine-tune my issue – I see my friends as people with problems that need my fixing. God sees them as holy, as mysteries – friends who need my love and encouragement. Eugene Peterson also said, “I’m learning to be a patient pastor”. Ah-ha!

Three dont’s are helping me:

• Don’t try to solve their problems
• Don’t give possible solutions
• Don’t share my personal experiences

God, please remind me of these in the moment. I want to treat my friends as your creations.  Amen

“We are His workmanship …”
Ephesians 2:10

It was about twenty years ago in another state. The wedding rehearsal was over and the party hadn’t started. One of the groomsmen acting like he had had too much to drink was calling attention to himself in a big way. Everyone noticed his immaturity. I’m quite sure it was not a conscious decision on his part – he was acting out of who he pictured himself to be. I wish I could say I was sad for him – but really I was mad; mad that he was taking the attention away from the bride and groom.

Every morning I wake up with needs: the need for security, the need for significance, the need for attention and more. Every morning I have a choice, will I look to God to meet those fundamental needs or will I look to others to meet them and hope they do. Recently I’ve been grappling with my need for attention; what is appropriate attention; what is non-appropriate? I don’t want to be like that groomsman.

Understanding how I define attention helps me. For example, I am ___________; I want you to notice that I am ___________. If you don’t notice – don’t meet my attention needs – my pride is squashed.  It’s like my three year old GRAND-daughter saying, look at me – give me your attention — as she hops across the living room on one foot. When you are three years old, the attention request is cute.

Many stories are recorded in the gospels of people calling out for Jesus’ attention, like the blind beggar in Mark 10. Jesus responds; the attention need is met; the begging stops. I am challenged – do I call out to Jesus to meet my attention needs? Does my begging cease when Jesus meets my need? Or do I look to my friends to meet my attention needs by my doing something or saying something that communicates please notice me!

I need to be asking how does God define attention? That leads to appropriate attention. God is very creative; meeting attention needs may look different every day. I am becoming aware that I need to be purposely asking God to meet my attention needs.

This summer I read Awakening the Quieter Virtues by Gregory Spencer. In his chapter on modesty – another descriptor of appropriate attention – I was challenged by these questions:

• Do I consistently draw attention to myself in conversations?
• Do I often judge others for not measuring up?  (arrgh – like the groomsman)
• Do I think that others spend a lot of time evaluating my actions?
• Do I attempt to elicit praise to shore up my insecurities?

I am convicted! Dr. Spencer points out that Jesus gave two commandments: love God and love others. When I am pre-occupied with wanting your attention, I am adding a third – love me!

Dear God, will you please meet my attention needs today? Thank you. Amen

“And we have something more sure, the prophetic word, to which you will do well to pay attention …”
II Peter 1:19

Eugene Peterson’s example challenges me. When he and his wife Jan planted – began – a new church in the suburbs of Baltimore they went to Acts 1 and 2 the story of the beginning of the church for guidance.

Bill and I are embarking on a new adventure – a new beginning – so I too am pondering the account in Acts 1. It is generating questions:

• Are there similarities between the beginning of the church and our next beginning?
• Are there principles to copy?
• How is God’s Word about the beginning of the church informing our beginning this fall and winter?

As I’m praying and listening the guidance unfurls piece by piece.
1.  Keep remembering God’s work in the past. That’s how Luke started.
2.  Wait for the Holy Spirit, Jesus orders (ESV, verse 4). Ahhhh, waiting – perhaps the biggest challenge. But there is something different about this waiting. The waiting anticipates; there is expectancy; there is promise. My friend calls it energy. Energetic waiting compels me.
3.  Be devoted to prayer – part of energetic waiting. Jesus has returned to heaven; the disciples are left behind. Along with some women (verse 14) this is the first recorded activity.
4.  They selected the replacement for Judas – they determined their community.

The pattern in Acts 1 proposes a pattern for me. I’m anticipating God speaking AND – I don’t need answers tomorrow (wow, is this a new Sue?)! I’m reviewing God’s leading; I’m praying; I’m considering who is a part of our community and I’m waiting – waiting with great anticipation that God will reveal His will in this new beginning.

“In the beginning, God created …”
Genesis 1:1

That’s me. J The carpenter is my husband.
We are home from vacation; a different kind of vacation.

• Yes, we had time to enjoy the solitude of our mountain haven.
• Yes, we had time for hiking.
• Yes, we consumed a few books (mostly novels).
• Yes, our Scrabble competition defined each night (Bill won).

And we also erected a shed – more accurately a mini-cabin – not quite finished.

Although not typical vacation fare, our shed documents the fact that couples working together can have fun, expand their skill sets (don’t think I’ll put nailing at the top of any future resumes), ramp up their courage, and foster their prayer lives.

As I hammered and stained, I pondered and prayed. Even while creating a shed, I am reminded of the character of God. The project highlights two characteristics in particular:

1. Bill believes in me more than I believe in myself – “Sue, you can do this” he tells me. He explains each step; demonstrates for me; and trusts me with the task. Isn’t that so like God? He trusts me with far more than I ever thought I could handle.
2. Bill unveils only the next step. That is enough. It would be overwhelming to try and grasp the whole project at its inception. That’s how I experience God; He unveils the next step and reserves the big picture for Himself. Thankfully!

Perhaps shed building should be included in the description of the Proverbs 31 woman?!

“The heart of her husband trusts in her …
She … works with willing (most of the time) hands,”
Proverbs 31:11 and 13

As children we sing it with abandon; with gusto in the pre-school Sunday School class.
Jesus loves me this I know. J
Children also sing it without conscious thought! L
For the Bible tells me so.
How do I know Jesus loves me? The Bible tells me so.

Therein lies the glitch:
What if I am not trained to hear what the Bible tells me? Will I not know that Jesus loves me? Possibly.
And if I don’t know that Jesus loves me, what will my life be like?

Last week I met a new friend. We were talking about the Bible, our lives, and what we were hearing from Jesus. She shared about pondering the story of Jesus coming to visit Mary and Martha. (Luke 10:38-42) As she pondered she heard Jesus whispering personally to her choose me.  That’s been her mantra each morning, choose Jesus. Those words are giving direction to her day; they are the fence that protects her.

My friend knows Jesus loves her. His daily guidance as she pays attention to his words for her is the proof. The Bible told her so as she pondered Mary and Martha’s story.

I am hindered in my understanding of Jesus’ love for me when I stop short of listening for it. I’m content to know the facts recorded in the Bible. I even make applications based on the facts. But until I learn to listen for Jesus’ personal love for me embedded in the facts, I won’t know that Jesus loves me ~ even when the Bible tells me so.

“Most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you listen to yourself and talk to God.”
David Martin Lloyd Jones

“Mary who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. … Mary has chosen the good portion, which shall not be taken from her.”
Luke 10, parts of verses 39 and 42

I love coffee shops – especially coffee shops that are re-makes of older homes. I love the atmosphere; I love sharing coffee with friends; I love reading with a mug of fresh brewed jo in my right hand; but most of all I love the aroma that exudes from the freshly brewed coffee.

My sister has said, I would never pay that much for a cup of coffee!  Perhaps if it was just a cup of coffee, I wouldn’t pay that much either. But I’m buying so much more! I’m paying for the atmosphere; I’m paying for the aroma; and most importantly I’m paying for a reminder:

“But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance (some translations say “aroma”) of the knowledge of him everywhere.” II Corinthians 2:14

Coffee shops are places where I have listened to God.
Coffee shops are places where I have heard truth.
Coffee shops remind me that I am the aroma of Christ to a hurting world.

Give me a call; I’d love to meet for coffee. J

“For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing,”
II Corinthians 2:15

It happened again. I hate it. My teacher mentality classifies it as a pop-quiz – and I flunked – aGAIN.

Several were gathered that afternoon to honor a friend.  Some (not me) were asked to offer verbal affirmations.  I was hurt; I felt slighted; my words were planned and ready.

I can just see you rolling your eyes; and hear you saying get over it; no big deal!

But for me it was a BIG deal.  It was another opportunity for me to trust what God believes about me and I didn’t do it.

Henri Nouwen talks about falling off the side of the road.  His advice, get back on where you fell off and start walking.

As I drove home I reviewed the afternoon as I fought back my tears. The whole scenario blew up like a balloon till I was suffocating in the front seat of my car. Just when I could bear it no longer, God’s word to me popped into my mind, “God not only loves you very much, but He has His hand on you for something special …”.  Parts of I Thessalonians 1 in the Message translation.

I repented; I relaxed; by God’s grace I got back on the road.

“ … the Lord is upright; he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him.”
Psalm 92:15

“You went through hell!”  ~  the counselor’s response after we shared our engagement story with him.
“If I can help you with your pain …”  ~  one friend to another.
“What do you need me to do?”  ~  a sister’s question knowing the frustration of her twin.

The words in italics opened doors of healing ~ for us and for our friends. They are words that identify with the emotions – not the facts of the story – of the one in need.

I remember well sitting in the counselor’s office over ten years ago. It was our first day with him. He was getting to know us and we were getting to know him. I was a bit skeptical to say the least. We weren’t there to deal with our engagement scenario which was thirty years in the past at this point; or even for marriage counseling, our engagement was just part of our story ~ a part that is totally healed, or so I thought.

I was shocked by our counselor’s response. Hell is a swear word that I grew up hearing; it isn’t used by my Christian friends. At least until that day. But something happened when he used that word. I stopped. I melted. He touched a deep part of me that had never been touched. He was right! Even though all the factual hurt of that time is healed, no-one had ever spoken to the emotion. Identifying the truth of the emotion opened the door for in depth fellowship and additional healing that I didn’t even know was needed.

I’m learning to respond to the emotions that I hear when my friends share their hurts. It is unlocking doors in our friendships and allowing me to love them. It is often just one word that ignites the process.

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.”
Proverbs 25:11

Eugene Peterson highlights the importance of stories in this quote from Leap over a Wall, Reflections on the Life of David ~

“Learning stories isn’t the same as learning the multiplication tables.  Once we’ve learned that three times four equals twelve, we’ve learned it and that’s that.  It’s a fact that doesn’t change.  The data is stored in our memory for ready access.
But stories don’t stay put, they grow and deepen.  The meaning doesn’t exactly change but it matures … stories keep releasing new insight in new situations.  As we bring new experience and insight to the story, the story gathers that enrichment in and gives it back to us in fresh form.”

My life validates that.  Earlier this week I was thinking about peace.  I need peace.  My sister is struggling with lung disease and it’s scary.  My mind went to John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.  Not as the world gives do I give to you.  Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”  When I look that verse up, I am reminded that those words are embedded in the story of Jesus promising his disciples the gift of another Helper who is going to dwell with them.

I had never thought about Jesus’ words in light of a sick sister.  I never had to.  But in my new circumstance the promise of a Helper and the promise of peace took on new critical meaning.  The story Jesus was telling grew, matured, and deepened because of my current story. Jesus’ story released new courage and peace to me in the midst of my story. The Helper is helping.

Dan Allendar says that our faith is meant to grow through stories.  When I see my life as a story and study that story and connect it with God’s story, I learn to trust.

This week I’ve been learning to trust the God who is with me; the God who loves me; the God who is sovereign as I walk through the valley.

What are you learning as you connect your story to God’s story?

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”
Psalm 56:3