First the long term forecast; then the next several days; finally, the current weather. It amazes me how accurate these forecasts are; especially when big storms approach. Sometimes all the ingredients are there to create the perfect storm – a frightening reality.

A forecast predicting weather storms parallels the storms of my life – although I don’t often see the pattern in the making quite so clearly – the pattern is there.

I am living in an in-between place; between identities – that is the identity that I voice to others. It is a hard place to be; who am I? I feel severed; I feel alone; I feel unimportant. I retain my badge; I keep my email address; it all seems hollow.

The long term forecast is over three years old; I know it is coming; I live like it is not. As the storm approaches and the signs concur, God moves in with gentle reminders. I hear,

Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
Jonah 2:8

I memorized that Scripture years ago. Why? I don’t remember; maybe for this time. Am I clinging to worthless idols? I wonder; I don’t think so – but then why these feelings?

There are other signs; they confirm the storm. I’m aware and unaware. I am unmasked – at least and hopefully, only to me – probably not.

I remember; I review; my only hope to weather the storm.

• When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. Isaiah 43:2
• …for this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10
• God not only loves you very much; He has His hand on you for something special; something happened in you; your life is echoing the master’s words.
  I Thessalonians 1, The Message
• And others renew my hope.

The storm arrives. Am I listening to God or am I licking my wounds?

“… you make him glad with the joy of your presence.”
Psalm 21:6b

My first best friend is Connie. She lives one house away in our very family friendly neighborhood. Connie’s family is Catholic and she gets to wear a uniform to school (I attend public school – no uniforms required). I remember being jealous of that uniform. Crazy, isn’t it?

My next best friend is Marilyn, my college roommate. Marilyn graciously includes me in her family’s Thanksgiving celebration. She warns me though to not take the name of the Lord in vain in her parent’s presence (“oh God” was a fairly common exclamation of mine in those days).

Then there is Liz, Barb, Kathy, Carol, Paula and many others. We raise our children together through their elementary years. We spend a lot of time together. One especially fun memory is coming home from a weekend retreat and stopping for dinner. As we consume our food, we remember, we tell stories, and laugh, and laugh, and laugh.

More recent best friends are my gramma friends: Kay, Louise, Mary and Melissa (the  female half of our couples group). We are doing life together and encouraging one another on the journey.

As I recall these various friends,
I realize that they parallel my journey with God.

Connie’s uniform signifies to me that God is important to her. I could not have voiced this in junior high school but I believe even back then, God is important to me too. Her uniform reflects my heart.

I mark my college years as the time when my friendship with God really begins; I am surrounded by friends who love God, I participate in personal Bible study, I attend retreats to spur on my relationship with God, and I hear God’s voice whisper in my ear for the first time. I remember the place. I remember who else is there. I REMEMBER HIS WORDS! That is HUGE! God speaks into my circumstances in His still small voice! A personal message – kind of like Marilyn warning me about my speech.

Although the still small voice is my first remembrance of a friendship with God, more often I hear God’s voice through His Word – a certain verse or passage jumps off the page as I read and I know God is speaking to me. Romans 15:5 and 6 is one of those special passages. It is God’s word to me for our marriage. To this day, I write the words of that Scripture on every wedding card I sign.

Often I hear the voice of God through the words of my friends; sometimes as we do Bible study together, sometimes as we pray, sometimes as we take walks or share lunch together, almost always in church. What a wonderful gift friendships are! I appreciate the Truth I hear through the words and see in the lives of my friends. As we celebrate together and as we cry together, God is reflected in them and they challenge me to keep developing my friendship with God.

Thank you my friends – those who I have named and many who were not named.

Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.
I was a Girl Scout once.  J

“…but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
Proverbs 18:24

She said, “I really want to find something that will help me learn how to apply the Bible.  I don’t just want to read it; I want to learn how to live it out.”

He said, “I don’t read the Bible; I listen to it.” Did he mean he has the Bible on his iPod? No. He means that the Bible is the voice of God speaking to him.

These two clarify my heart’s desire; as I read my Bible I want to be in tune with God; in tune with His personal words for me. I want to capture the moment; enjoy a conversation with Him. I want to listen to my Bible.

I have read Psalm 139 many, many, many, many, many times. I have been reminded about and am very thankful for God forming my inward parts and knitting me together in my mother’s womb (verse 13); I love that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (verse 14). But last week was different.

I’m not sure why I turn to Psalm 139 on this day – perhaps God is speaking before I even begin to read – because that’s where I went. God continues to speak. In the first three stanzas three similar thoughts jump off the page of my Bible that particular day and I ponder them: you hem me in (verse 5); your right hand shall hold me (verse 10); days that were formed for me (verse 16).

I’m not sure I like these words; they sound constraining. They might affect my freedom. Do I want to be hemmed in? Do I like someone holding my right hand? Do I want my days planned out for me (sometimes I do). It sounds like I’m a little kid who needs to be held back from running across the busy street.

Two other similar phrases are magnified that morning: Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; (verse 6); and How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! (verse17). I ask myself, do these phrases describe me; do I want them to be my testimony; are these really precious thoughts to me?

Then I remember, I am a little kid; I am God’s child; that is my identity. It’s not many thoughts later that I concede, I need God holding my hand; I need God hemming me in. I’m thankful my days are planned. I pray, God, please help me believe that your thoughts are precious; I know I don’t get it – your knowledge is too wonderful for me. I need to be hemmed in; I need you to hold my right hand; I’m thankful you plan my days; I need your protection. Amen.

As I say amen (so be it) and close my Bible, there is lightness in my heart; there is new energy in my step. I have enjoyed a conversation with a good friend – like Moses in Exodus 33.

“You are my friends …”
John 15:14

You see a crust; we see a canvas advertises California Pizza Kitchen. I love it. They desire to create pizza that not only pleases the palate but also the eyes. Their everyday work becomes their work of art. What a concept!

Last week my friend and I attend a tea; the setting is lovely; the speaker is too. Her topic is the many forms of beauty. Driving home I ask my friend, What did you hear? Without hesitating she responds, I need to get back to my home. My friend has a lovely home. It is her canvas, her work of art. Her response spurs my thinking. For my friend, homemaking – including housecleaning – is a pleasure; it energizes her; it satisfies her; it’s her desire; it’s her gift to others; it’s the artist in her; it’s a reflection of our creative God in her life; it shows. Gosh, a new thought, creating a beautiful home, or creating a pizza is a work or art, a reflection of God in our lives, a gift to others.

Later I receive an email from her … I was blessed (by the tea)  and continue to think about how I can make our surroundings beautiful…whether with flowers, a nicely set table, music, candles, or just an attitude adjustment!  Beauty takes on many forms, eh? My friend is right.

Although I too enjoy offering a beautiful home for my family and friends, housecleaning will never energize me. My canvas is different.

I love how personal and how creative God is! His beauty and creativity are displayed in so many ways.

“Love of Beauty is taste. The creation of Beauty is Art.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

“For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made.”
Romans 1:19, 20

We’re all in a race
A complicated race
Where many opportunities abound
Good opportunities
Right opportunities
Seductive opportunities
Necessary opportunities
Opportunities like a rubber-band ball ~
Tightly wound
Criss-crossing, intersecting
Colors alluring and inviting
And sometimes
All knotted up.

We all need space
Time
And Place
to ponder our rubber-band balls.
We need to meet God
Our Shepherd, our Friend
We need to meet God
Face to face.
We’re all in a race
A complicated race
Where many opportunities abound.
We need to meet God
Our Shepherd, our Friend
We need to experience His grace,
His overflowing grace.

Thus the Lord used to speak to Moses face to face as a man speaks to his friend.”
Exodus 33:11

Veni; Vidi; Vici – I came; I saw; I conquered – (Julius Ceasar’s words in 47 BC reporting on his short war with Pharmaces II of Pontus) returns to my memory. Mr. Deeks would be proud of me. J

Jesus’ response to the wars or the storms of life is different from Ceasar. Jesus physical presence is not necessary for him to see. But because he sees, he comes; and when he comes, he conquers.

The story of Jesus sending the disciples across the lake without him is recorded in three of the gospels and encourages me. Jesus stays back to get time by himself in the mountains to pray. I get that. There are times when I want to send all the people away, be by myself and pray. This week is one of those times.

Actually any week when I return home from traveling is one of those times. After being with people, restoration for me is time alone. But sometimes alone times are interrupted by the storms of life. This particular time, Jesus was interrupted by a storm on the lake near where the disciples were. Jesus saw – he didn’t need to be physically present in the boat with the disciples do know about the storm – he saw. He also knew their fears. Jesus came.

Jesus is aware of my storms – this one, an overwhelming sense of helplessness. Jesus sees and he comes in the form of a letter from a friend that arrived while I was gone. Tears come as I read the words that prod me to see God in my current situation. The letter initiated a restorative alone time for me in the midst of my storm.

The gospel story continues. As Jesus walks the three miles across the lake toward the boat with his friends aboard and comes close enough for them to see him – or see something (a ghost perhaps) – they are afraid – BIG time. Knowing their fear, Jesus speaks, Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid. These reassuring words come in the midst of the storm. The winds cease. Jesus conquers the storm.

Oh how I need those words, Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid. Jesus is not only aware of my storm; he enters my storm; and he conquers the storm. I do not need to fear. In the quietness of pondering my friend’s words, the storm quiets.

There are still many questions swirling around the now smaller storm. But for now there is peace. Jesus is in the boat with me. He sees; he comes; he conquers.

“The Lord is at hand (near); do not be anxious about anything,”
Philippians 4:5,6 (parentheses mine)

I’m a mom; I understand wanting to fix things; I hate when my kids hurt – I just want to fix it – whatever it is. A friend articulates this well, “I just want to fix it and I can’t”.  Frustration multiplies. Moms aren’t alone in this struggle; this issue camouflages itself in a variety of relationships and in a variety of settings.

Recently my frustrated fixer quirk rears its head in a Bible study I do with friends. I so want her to understand – to capture the practical implications of the passage. My questions fail to bring the desired responses; that is, my desired responses.

Later reviewing my underlines from a recent book, the proverbial light bulb comes on; I am convicted.

“Congregation is a company of people who are defined by their creation in the image of God, living souls, whether they know it or not. They are not problems to be fixed, but mysteries to be honored and revered. … they are known not by what is wrong with them, but by who they are, just as they are.”
Eugene Peterson, The Pastor (italics mine)

I remember another book I read several years ago.

“I couldn’t help but imagine what my world would be like if I looked at the human beings I was closest to as holy and treated them with the same sense of respect … I try to look deeper into his heart, at the human being behind the role of husband, father, educator.”
Joan Anderson, A Year By The Sea (italics mine)

My author-friends fine-tune my issue – I see my friends as people with problems that need my fixing. God sees them as holy, as mysteries – friends who need my love and encouragement. Eugene Peterson also said, “I’m learning to be a patient pastor”. Ah-ha!

Three dont’s are helping me:

• Don’t try to solve their problems
• Don’t give possible solutions
• Don’t share my personal experiences

God, please remind me of these in the moment. I want to treat my friends as your creations.  Amen

“We are His workmanship …”
Ephesians 2:10

It was about twenty years ago in another state. The wedding rehearsal was over and the party hadn’t started. One of the groomsmen acting like he had had too much to drink was calling attention to himself in a big way. Everyone noticed his immaturity. I’m quite sure it was not a conscious decision on his part – he was acting out of who he pictured himself to be. I wish I could say I was sad for him – but really I was mad; mad that he was taking the attention away from the bride and groom.

Every morning I wake up with needs: the need for security, the need for significance, the need for attention and more. Every morning I have a choice, will I look to God to meet those fundamental needs or will I look to others to meet them and hope they do. Recently I’ve been grappling with my need for attention; what is appropriate attention; what is non-appropriate? I don’t want to be like that groomsman.

Understanding how I define attention helps me. For example, I am ___________; I want you to notice that I am ___________. If you don’t notice – don’t meet my attention needs – my pride is squashed.  It’s like my three year old GRAND-daughter saying, look at me – give me your attention — as she hops across the living room on one foot. When you are three years old, the attention request is cute.

Many stories are recorded in the gospels of people calling out for Jesus’ attention, like the blind beggar in Mark 10. Jesus responds; the attention need is met; the begging stops. I am challenged – do I call out to Jesus to meet my attention needs? Does my begging cease when Jesus meets my need? Or do I look to my friends to meet my attention needs by my doing something or saying something that communicates please notice me!

I need to be asking how does God define attention? That leads to appropriate attention. God is very creative; meeting attention needs may look different every day. I am becoming aware that I need to be purposely asking God to meet my attention needs.

This summer I read Awakening the Quieter Virtues by Gregory Spencer. In his chapter on modesty – another descriptor of appropriate attention – I was challenged by these questions:

• Do I consistently draw attention to myself in conversations?
• Do I often judge others for not measuring up?  (arrgh – like the groomsman)
• Do I think that others spend a lot of time evaluating my actions?
• Do I attempt to elicit praise to shore up my insecurities?

I am convicted! Dr. Spencer points out that Jesus gave two commandments: love God and love others. When I am pre-occupied with wanting your attention, I am adding a third – love me!

Dear God, will you please meet my attention needs today? Thank you. Amen

“And we have something more sure, the prophetic word, to which you will do well to pay attention …”
II Peter 1:19

Eugene Peterson’s example challenges me. When he and his wife Jan planted – began – a new church in the suburbs of Baltimore they went to Acts 1 and 2 the story of the beginning of the church for guidance.

Bill and I are embarking on a new adventure – a new beginning – so I too am pondering the account in Acts 1. It is generating questions:

• Are there similarities between the beginning of the church and our next beginning?
• Are there principles to copy?
• How is God’s Word about the beginning of the church informing our beginning this fall and winter?

As I’m praying and listening the guidance unfurls piece by piece.
1.  Keep remembering God’s work in the past. That’s how Luke started.
2.  Wait for the Holy Spirit, Jesus orders (ESV, verse 4). Ahhhh, waiting – perhaps the biggest challenge. But there is something different about this waiting. The waiting anticipates; there is expectancy; there is promise. My friend calls it energy. Energetic waiting compels me.
3.  Be devoted to prayer – part of energetic waiting. Jesus has returned to heaven; the disciples are left behind. Along with some women (verse 14) this is the first recorded activity.
4.  They selected the replacement for Judas – they determined their community.

The pattern in Acts 1 proposes a pattern for me. I’m anticipating God speaking AND – I don’t need answers tomorrow (wow, is this a new Sue?)! I’m reviewing God’s leading; I’m praying; I’m considering who is a part of our community and I’m waiting – waiting with great anticipation that God will reveal His will in this new beginning.

“In the beginning, God created …”
Genesis 1:1

That’s me. J The carpenter is my husband.
We are home from vacation; a different kind of vacation.

• Yes, we had time to enjoy the solitude of our mountain haven.
• Yes, we had time for hiking.
• Yes, we consumed a few books (mostly novels).
• Yes, our Scrabble competition defined each night (Bill won).

And we also erected a shed – more accurately a mini-cabin – not quite finished.

Although not typical vacation fare, our shed documents the fact that couples working together can have fun, expand their skill sets (don’t think I’ll put nailing at the top of any future resumes), ramp up their courage, and foster their prayer lives.

As I hammered and stained, I pondered and prayed. Even while creating a shed, I am reminded of the character of God. The project highlights two characteristics in particular:

1. Bill believes in me more than I believe in myself – “Sue, you can do this” he tells me. He explains each step; demonstrates for me; and trusts me with the task. Isn’t that so like God? He trusts me with far more than I ever thought I could handle.
2. Bill unveils only the next step. That is enough. It would be overwhelming to try and grasp the whole project at its inception. That’s how I experience God; He unveils the next step and reserves the big picture for Himself. Thankfully!

Perhaps shed building should be included in the description of the Proverbs 31 woman?!

“The heart of her husband trusts in her …
She … works with willing (most of the time) hands,”
Proverbs 31:11 and 13