“As he passed by, he saw …”.  These first six words from John 9 have encouraged me greatly this week.  The “he” is Jesus.  Jesus was with his disciples and on his way to somewhere.  Perhaps they were walking along quietly.  My guess is they were talking with each other as they walked.  But either way, they were walking.  As they were walking, Jesus saw someone.  His being with his disciples did not stop him from seeing, seeing someone in need.  In this case it was a blind man and Jesus healed him.  For the rest of the story, please read John 9.

Being blind is a hard thing.  Jesus not only saw, but he healed.

There are hard things all around us too.  It is a great comfort knowing that Jesus … even in the midst of all the other hard things … sees our hard things.  Our son is un-employed; he needs a job.  Two of my friends have prodigal sons who have not yet come home; cancer is everywhere and is no respecter of persons or age; Christmas highlighted hurt relationships.  Hard things … REALLY hard things.

Earlier this week as I was pondering John 9 and praying over these hard things, I made a list of truths to help me through these hard things.  It seemed like rather a simple list and so I decided to keep it for me.  Then another email arrived.

The 38 year-old “healthy” daughter of one of my best friends in Colorado suffered a major stroke while exercising on the treadmill.  She has been in a coma since.  Joanne is not only a daughter, but also a wife and mother to two precious girls. She has an extensive ministry through the books she has authored and her blog, The Simple Wife.  (over 35,000 hits in the last two days).  She is also my friend.  I decided to share my list.

My list helps me to know that Jesus sees these hard things.  And not only does he see but he is working in and through them.  My list is an answer to my question, “If I believe that suffering (hard things) is for the purpose of showing God’s glory, like it was for the blind man in John 9, what should characterize me as I live with the suffering (the hard things) around me?”  Maybe my list will help you.

1. In EVERYthing give thanks.  I Thessalonians 5:18
2. Pray without ceasing … Trust.   Colossians 4:2
3. Take time to ponder, be still and know.   Psalm 46:10
4. Get rid of my Eyore complex (poooooor me)     Matthew 6:16-18
5. Listen to God through His word, through wise friends, through books.  Isaiah 55:1-3
6. Record/journal even when I don’t get it.  John 12:16
7. Review what I know is true.  Philippians 3:1
8. Resist the devil (lies I tend to believe) and he will flee.  James 4:7
9. Consider Jesus and his hard things.  Hebrews 12:3
10. Replay the well-known.   Psalm 23; Romans 8:18 and following;  John 15

We all have hard things in our lives.  I would be honored to walk with you and pray for you too as you walk through the hard things in your life.  Please, allow me to be your friend.

It was Sunday and we were visiting a town we had lived in previously.  I was sitting in church before the service began reading the bulletin.  And I snapped!  Not visibly mind you, but in my heart I was hurt, very hurt.  I’m quite sure my worship was greatly hindered that day or perhaps non-existent.

The reality of my heart collided with the reality of an event at the church.  There was a women’s retreat planned and I had not been asked to be the speaker.  My heart desperately wants to minister to women.  That was not a new desire.  And at that time my definition of ministry was pretty narrow – speaking.

One of my life lessons is that I need to continue to crucify my sinful nature.  That nature causes me to compare myself with other women.  I am never good enough.  My ministry is never as spiritual or as significant as theirs.  The place where I am most vulnerable is the place of my desire.  Wanting to minister to women is a good desire.  God put it in my heart long ago.  But that desire can also derail me.

As I was pondering this on a walk one day, I realized my vulnerability displayed itself in primarily two general circumstances.  One circumstance I could almost always count on to bring up my vulnerability was when I was with a group of women with similar hearts to mine … like staff get-togethers for the Navs.  I could count on it, I knew I would compare, I knew I would struggle.  But there were other times when my vulnerability would show itself that caught me off guard, like that Sunday reading the bulletin in church.  There had been no thought ahead of time that day that would have helped me prepare for my sinful reaction.

It was kind of like school.  Sometimes there are tests.  I know ahead of time that they are coming and I prepare for them.  Sometimes there are quizzes.  I don’t know ahead of time and I can’t prepare.  I need to be ready.  And then to continue the analogy, there are the final exams.  They too can be prepared for.

In my life I believe I am ready for the “final exam”.  I’ve trusted in the work of Jesus on the cross for that.  I’m becoming aware of those  “tests” that I’m walking into and I’m learning to prepare for them.  And I know too that there will continue to be “quizzes” in my life, those things that catch me by surprise.  I’m doing better on them these days too.  As I’m learning my places of vulnerability, the places where my sinful nature displays itself, I’m also learning to prepare for them by reviewing the truth of the Scriptures.  The truth is gradually becoming my default.  It feels good.

As a bonus, as I’m learning to be content with where God has me, ministry is happening.  Go figure.  🙂

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely …”.  Hebrews 12:1

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light”.  Matthew 11:28, 30

It’s been a journey.  It started in college in 1966.  At least that’s when I have memory of it.  And it continues.

In the fall of ’66, God drew me into a brand new relationship with Him.  Christianity became for me more than my religion, it was now a relationship with God.  I became His child.  “But to all who received Him, who believed in His name, He gave power to become the children of God”.   John 1:12

It wasn’t until years later that I realized I wasn’t only His child, but as His child, I was the recipient of His lavished love!  WOW!!!  “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called the children of God and that is exactly who we are”. I John 3:1

Then I began to grasp the concept that I was chosen and adopted.  I was wanted!  How wonderfully affirming that is to me.

As part of my adoption, there is purpose.  There is direction.  There is reason.  “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit…”.  John 15:16

About 3 years ago while reading one of Eugene Peterson’s books about Jeremiah, an amazingly wonderful truth grabbed my heart.  “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.  And before you were born, I consecrated you …”  Jeremiah 1:5  Before I was even born into my family God had a purpose for me;  He had set me apart for something special!  God whispered that truth to me privately.  It was a life-changer.

About a year later, The hymn, “Draw Me Nearer” also spoke to my heart along the same lines.  The second verse starts, “Consecrate me now to Thy service Lord by the power of grace divine.  May my soul look up with a steadfast hope and my will be lost in Thine”.  That gave words to my heart.

And then God affirmed it in a public setting.  Actually I was the only one who realized the profound truth of my being anointed with oil.  But I was the only one who needed to realize it.  I was anointed because I was consecrated for something special.  I needed that re-affirmed for me.

I imagine the journey will continue.  And that is one of my prayers for 2011, this new year … that I will be in tune with God’s affirmations for me.  They make a difference!

Ephesians 1:5,  “In love, He predestined us for adoption according to the purpose of His will”.

Mary’s worship song takes a turn right after her declaration that “he who is mighty has done great things for me”.  Up to this point Mary was worshipping God remembering all He had done for her.  Now she turns her attention to what God does in general.  The Scripture records go from the first person to the third person.

Mary bookends this part of the song with the theme of God’s mercy.  The names of the bookends extol how God shows His mercy.

The first bookend is about God’s strength.  Our little GRANDson sings about God’s strength, “our God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there’s nothing our God cannot do”.  The words of that child’s song challenge me.  Do I really believe there is nothing my God cannot do?  I’m living with several unanswered prayers.  It causes me to wonder if God really can do ANYthing.  That thought leads me into Mary’s second comment about the proud.

Am I so arrogant or proud as to think that I know the best way for God to answer my prayers?  A few years ago I was listening to a missionary report.  The missionary was telling us about a pastor in the persecuted church who had asked that we NOT pray FOR him, but that we pray WITH him.  His greatest desire was for the advance of the gospel in his country.  Other things like the persecution he lived with was not as important.  My prayers might be asking for lesser things.

Mary’s third comment is another aspect of pride.  God brings down the mighty and He exalts the humble.  Mary is thinking about a lot of history as she sings this verse.  But this verse is not just history.  God still is doing this.  And I’m thankful … at least after a while.  I’m thankful for my friend who recently questioned my thinking on a particular scripture passage.  I had cross references lined up to support my proud thought.  As I pondered her question, I came to the conclusion that I really don’t know exactly what God means by this passage.  I need to be humble.  I may not be right!  It was good to admit that to her.

Mary’s fourth comment reminds us about how God is able to fill the hungry and deal with the rich.  This contrast tells me that God is the provider and the great equalizer.  He is faithful.  He will meet our needs.  Because of being career missionaries this concept is very real.  Bill and I have no guaranteed salary.  Over the years we have seen God provide faithfully for us.  As a wedding gift one of our friends made a calligraphy print of part of Psalm 84:11 for us.  “… no good thing does the Lord withhold …”.  We have prayed that scripture for the last 38 years.  God is faithful.

Her last comment is about how God has helped his servant Israel.  God is still in the business of helping.  I’m experiencing that as God answers my almost daily prayer, “God, what would it look like to trust You today?”  I need His help daily.

And Mary leads us back to the topic of mercy, the bookend.

These are heavy comments.  Two bookends are needed.  The other bookend that is supporting the mercy bookends is the generation bookend.  Verse 50, “And his mercy is … from generation to generation”.  Verse 55, “as he spoke to our fathers, to Abraham and to his offspring forever.”  As an adopted child of my heavenly Father, I am one of Abraham’s offspring.  Everything that was true about God for Abraham is true about God for me and for my children and grandchildren and for all the future generations of the children of God.  What an incredible God!

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”  Hebrews 13:8

I just HAVE to tell you!  I’m so excited I’m about to burst!  REALLY!  Our son just received word that he won the prestigious fellowship he applied for.  J  (I didn’t even know that when I wrote my first draft of this post.  But what a wonderful gift and illustration that is.)  You know, I think that’s how Mary felt after Elizabeth’s affirmation.  She just had to burst into song.  I find it interesting that Mary’s song did not come after Gabriel’s announcement to Mary it came after Elizabeth’s affirmation.  There is something special about the affirmation of a girlfriend … or in this case a female relative.  God, please help me to be an affirming friend to the women I come across today.

God, through Gabriel and Elizabeth, said to Mary, I love you.
Mary’s response, her song is saying back to God, I love you.  It was worship.

Mary’s song came from the depth of who she was.  She says, “my soul magnifies… my spirit rejoices” in “the Lord” … in “God my Savior”.  In the words Lord and Savior, Mary acknowledges who God is in her life.  Previously she had referred to herself as a servant, this time she speaks of the same relationship only looking at it from God’s side.  He is her Lord.  And like me, Mary needed a Savior.  Like me, God is her Savior.

But it was the next few verses that caused me to burst into song.  Mary says, “for …” or “because” and lists four reasons why she is magnifying and rejoicing in her Lord and Savior.

1. “He has looked on the humble estate of his servant.”  When God looked at Mary, He saw humility.  He saw a servant.  Those observations affirmed to Mary His love for her.  My question for me, what does God see when He looks on me and how has God affirmed His love for me today?
2. “… all generations will call me blessed;”  That started with Elizabeth.  A few chapters later another woman called Mary blessed.  Jesus was there and He responded, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!”  Luke 11:28.  Both are true.  Mary was blessed.  I can be too.  My question, what do you want me to hear today God so I can trust, so I can respond and so I can be blessed?
3. “He… has done great things for me,” God was active in Mary’s life.  My question, how have I seen God active in my life this past week?
4. “… holy is His name.”  This character quality of God seemed to summarize for Mary all that she was experiencing.  My question, what would be the character quality I would ascribe to God as a result of my experience with Him recently?Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name!  Psalm 103:1

Mary had just experienced an amazing encounter with an angel.  The angel, Gabriel, had communicated to her that she had found favor with god, would become pregnant by the Holy Spirit and her child is the Son of God.  After a few questions, Mary humbly surrendered to Gabriel’s message and Gabriel departed.  I love that Gabriel stayed with her until Mary was able to embrace his message.

About ten years ago, Bill and I were involved in a marriage counseling intensive.  I remember the first day the counselor saying to us “We don’t know how long the intensive will last, maybe one week, maybe two, maybe a month.  But we will both know when the intensive has done its work”. He was right.  We both knew.  (It was 2 weeks.)  Our counselor stayed with us until we had embraced his message.  Gabriel stayed with Mary until she had embraced his message.  I want to be like that for my friends too.

The next thing recorded for us is that Mary went with haste to visit her relative (cousin?) Elizabeth.  Elizabeth was much older than Mary and in her sixth month of pregnancy.  Oh how I identify with Mary at this point.  Having a conversation with an angel must be quite wonderful, but sharing with someone with skin on is so helpful.  Their family relationship gave them a special bond.  Their supernatural pregnancies gave them a special bond.  Their faith in God gave them a special bond.  And I wonder if like me, sometimes Mary needed to process externally.  What a gift Elizabeth was to Mary.

Elizabeth was there.  Elizabeth was available.  Elizabeth was affirming!  Affirmation is a wonderfully powerful gift.  Elizabeth first affirmed Mary’s identity, “Blessed are YOU”.  Gabriel said, “O favored one”.  I am blessed because of my relationship with God.  That blessing speaks of who I was created to be not what I was created to do.  Secondly Elizabeth affirmed that Mary’s baby is also blessed.  Gabriel named the baby Jesus and called him the Son of God.  Jesus is the fruit of Mary’s womb. For Mary, carrying Jesus was living out who God created her to be.  Lastly Elizabeth affirmed Mary’s surrender to God.  Elizabeth voiced to Mary her faith, “blessed is she who believed”.  Gabriel affirmed it by departing from her.  Elizabeth affirmed it with words.

There is something very special about woman-to-woman affirmation.  God used Elizabeth significantly in Mary’s life.  Mary’s Song of Praise, known as the Magnificat is recorded after her time with Elizabeth, not Gabriel.  And in the process, Elizabeth was also blessed.  When Elizabeth greeted Mary, the baby Elizabeth was carrying leaped for joy.  Elizabeth had been hiding her pregnancy for five months.  Was she embarrassed because of her age?  Was she fearful of a miscarriage?  Was it too good to be true?  Did she just want time to savor it with Zechariah?  I don’t know.  But I do know that when Elizabeth affirmed Mary, Elizabeth was also set free to enjoy her pregnancy publicly.  I bet they had a lot of special conversations over the next three months as Mary continued to stay with Elizabeth.

My prayer is, “God, would you please use me like you used Elizabeth to be an instrument of affirmation to the women around me.  Thank you.”

“Blessed is she who believed …”  Luke 1:45

I enjoy changing the décor in our home with the seasons.  The basic furniture stays the same, but it’s adornment changes.

It’s the same way with my time with God.  The basics are the same:  my Bible, my journals, a good book or two that have been ministering to me.  But what I focus on changes.  So with the beginning of Advent, my Word time this year is centering on Mary, the mother of Jesus.  What a gift that her story has been recorded for us!

Mary doesn’t yet know that her cousin Elizabeth is pregnant when she is visited by the angel Gabriel with his amazing message.  “Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you”. The Bible records that Mary was greatly troubled at the saying.  Gabriel has not said anything to Mary about being pregnant with Jesus yet.  He has just spoken something about her identity and Mary is greatly troubled.  The identity Gabriel gives her speaks of God’s love for her.  I bet Mary was more in tune with being the beloved of Joseph, the soon-to-be bride than being the favored one of God.

My culture has so programmed my identity for me that I too can wonder when someone speaks to me using God’s identity markers for me.  I’m sometimes more in tune with being “the basket lady” rather than the beloved child of my Heavenly Father.  Or even an identity I love, “Mana” (grandma) can be more real to me than my truest identity.

Mary’s response reminds me that I need to listen well to surprise affirmations as they might be from God!  I’m challenged to approach my friends this Christmas with their God-given identities.

I love Mary’s vulnerability and honesty.  Gabriel continues on with his BIG announcement.  Mary’s first response is a question.  I don’t picture her question as a challenging question but rather a question from what Mary knows is true.  She is a virgin and virgins can’t be pregnant … at least apart from the intervention of God.  Gabriel gently speaks to her wonderings.

This so encourages me.  God is not threatened by my questions.  His answers may not come to me as quickly as Mary’s did but I believe they will come.  Questions are ok.

One other thought and this is a big one for me.  “… you will conceive … and bear a son …”.  Mary is going to bear physical fruit.  My desire is to bear spiritual fruit for God.  These words communicate to me that when I live out of my God-given identity I too will bear fruit. I love Philippians 1:22.  If I go on living out who God created me to be, it will mean fruitful labor for me.  My loose translation.

“Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares”.  Hebrews 13:2

Sometimes I call them “mental arguments”.  I have a decision to make and I just don’t know which way to go.  Or I’m thinking I really should do something and I really don’t want to do it.
I’m confused or frustrated or worse yet, I’m battling what I think I should be doing.

That happened last week.  The knot was rather large.  I didn’t want to even consider the implications of my decision.

I have three current journals.  One is where I record underlines and quotes from books I read and messages I hear.  The second is my writing journal.  I often think with my pen and my thoughts are recorded in this journal.  The third is a beautiful leather bound journal that Bill gave me for Christmas a year ago.  This is a very special journal to me.  I use it as a prayer journal and I only record the scriptures and other request in it that I pray regularly for me and for those closest to me.  It is also a picture of my spiritual journey.  It is often this journal that I turn to when the knot makes itself known in my stomach.

And so I went to my leather bound journal first last week.  As I once again began to ponder and pray over the Scriptures that God has impressed on my heart over the years, I began to relax.  On the fourth page of that journal I have recorded several lies that I had come to believe about myself over the years as a result of the culture I was brought up in.  Immediately after each lie, I have recorded the truth of what God says about me.  These scriptures have become foundational and timeless for me.  They seem to apply to many of my life situations.  And that was true this time.

As I considered the decision that was causing my knot and as I considered each lie and its corresponding truth recorded in my leather journal, it was obvious to me that making the decision one way was living out of the lies that have defined me for so long.  Making the decision the other way was living out of the truth of who God says I am.  I want to trust God.  I want to live out of the truth of what God says about me.

My decision was made.  The knot is melting as I pray in the light of the truth.

“Do all things … without questioning …that you may be blameless …in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.”  Philippians 2:14

My friend used that descriptor once to explain what she and her husband did when they spent their week in Vail each fall.  Her words were, “sometimes I have to unscrew my big toe and let it all flow out”.

I need to do that too.

In 2003 I wrote in one of my journals, “I need to be more intentional about quiet and solitude”.  Life is busy.  The needs of people are always present.  I love visiting our GRANDS.  I’m an extrovert by design so I love to show up for everything.  But my physical, emotional and spiritual batteries run low and I need to recharge.  That starts with unscrewing my big toe.

Sometimes I call it “sitting and staring”.  I just allow myself to be.  I’m not reading; I’m not writing; I’m not praying.  I don’t think I’m necessarily even waiting, I just am.  I’ve discovered this is good.

Beyond that I’m also discovering that for me to recharge, five ingredients are necessary:  beauty, quiet, reviewing and listening, reading and sometimes writing.

For Christmas last year Bill gave me a deck heater.  Our deck is surrounded by old evergreens.  I love the beauty that is out there and the deck heater allows me to extend the days I can meet with God outside.  When the weather is too cold even for the deck heater my favorite place to meet with God is from an overstuffed chair in our bedroom that faces a sliding glass door that looks out to our deck.  These are places of beauty for me.  There are others, but these are my regulars.

I do enjoy music.  But to recharge, I’ve learned I prefer quiet.  I love listening to the “Sounds of Silence”. I know, that dates me.  The sounds that God has created, like the wind through the trees or water flowing from a nearby creek … or even the small fountain next to our deck are gifts from God to me.

Paul says in Philippians 3:1, “…to write the same things to you again is no trouble for me and is safe for you”.  Reviewing is a safety net for me.  I have favorite scriptures that God has impressed on my heart that I often (sometimes daily) go back to and review, think about and pray over.  There are certain quotes that speak deeply to my heart that I need to hear again and again.  And as I review, I listen.  What might God be saying to me in these circumstances?  David Martin Lloyd Jones has said, “Most of our unhappiness in life is due to the fact that we are listening to self”.  I’ve added and talking to God.  I need to listen to God!  Listening sometimes is even more important than praying.

A big way I listen to God is through reading.  Reading my Bible for sure.  But also reading my journals and reading favorite authors.  I hear God through what He has whispered to me in the past and realize the truth is still true.  I hear God through the writings of others.  My current favorite is Sally Breedlove and her book, Choosing Rest.

Finally sometimes writing helps me to unscrew my big toe.  As I listen to myself through my pen I hear the affirming or the directional or the calming voice of God.  I leave with new perspective and my big toe back in place.

“The Lord is my shepherd …He makes me lie down in green pastures.  He leads me beside still waters.  He restores my soul…”  Psalm 23:1,2,3

I sell Longaberger baskets.  It’s been a good match for me allowing me to earn a bit of money and to do it around my passion – encouraging women in their walks with God.

Like all good sales companies, Longaberger has a yearly “pep-rally”, better known as a convention.  As consultants we are encouraged and empowered to be the best sales people on planet earth.  Every attendee is given ribbons to hang from their nametag.  Some of the ribbons mark certain achievements.  They have been earned.  Other ribbons are not earned.  They signify which group the consultant is a part of and other un-earned realities.  They want us to feel important.  It usually worked.

At one of the conventions in the late nineties, I was proudly wearing all my ribbons.  They fanned out like an upside down peacock from my nametag flowing down to my waist.  In the hotel elevator one afternoon, a stranger and fellow consultant seeing my many colorful ribbons congratulated me on my “achievements”.  I smiled and “humbly” said, thank you.  I knew I hadn’t earned all those ribbons but it felt good to be noticed.  I kind of liked the identity those ribbons gave me.

Fast forward a few years.  I was talking with a friend and describing my office to him.  My desk faces a wall that was full from top to bottom with framed Longaberger certificates.  The certificates, like the ribbons, were sometimes earned but often represented other true but un-earned realities.  However, anyone else looking at the wall would be impressed.  I guess I was trying to impress myself too.

But that impression was a source of confusion to me.  It was not a picture of my primary identity – the beloved child of God.  It was not a picture of what I was really passionate about – encouraging my friends in their walks with God.  Yes, Longaberger is a part of my life, but it is not the most important part.

My friend asked, “Is that wall encouraging and reminding you of who you really are?”  I knew the answer to his question right away.  I went home and took down the wall … or at least the meaningless framed certificates that hung there.  I left one along with a few decorative pieces.  The one was a reminder of our group’s contribution to the American Cancer Society.

I’ve learned over the years that I need to remind myself regularly of my true identity.  I often review scriptures that speak to that in my devotional times.  This is so life-giving to me.

Yes, Longaberger is still part of my life.  But I have learned to keep it in its rightful place.

“Set your minds on things that are above (and true), not on things that are on earth.”  Colossians 3:2 – parentheses mine.