Prayer ~ a wonderful gift to us.  I’ve been learning lots about 2-way communication in prayer.  Listening to God in my prayer times is becoming more natural.  When I concentrate on just asking or working my way through a list of requests, I’m missing out on the blessing of prayer, a conversation with my Father who loves me.

For several years I have been asking God this question during my devotional times, God, what would it look like for me to trust You for today?  I don’t always hear the answer to my question immediately, but I can usually tell you the answer at some point.  Our omnipresent, omniscient  God has answers and He knows the timing when I’m most receptive to hear.

I’m realizing that my worrying prayers that reached into the future were keeping me from trusting God today.  The “I ams” referring to God are throughout the Scriptures.  That  challenges me to trust the God who is the trustworthy one today.  It has been helpful to me to think about what I am giving up when I don’t trust God today.

From reading Truefaced (I highly recommend this book), a principle that has stood out to me is until I learn to trust God, I will never be able to receive His love.  ~  By the way this is true in our relationships with each other as well. When I don’t trust my husband, I cannot receive his love. ~  I NEED to be aware of God’s love for me every day.  God wants me to be aware of His love every day.  God’s love is the security I need to face the uncertainty of life. So I pray, God, what would it look like to trust You today?  I don’t want to give up knowing His love.

Brennan Manning has also helped me flesh out what it means to trust God today.  He challenged me in his book, Ruthless Trust, (another I recommend) with the thought that I don’t need new insights, but I do need to trust God with the insights I have already received.  So my prayer for today might sound like, God I know the truth that You are going to meet my needs, Father help me to be aware of how You are providing today.  I don’t want to give up knowing God as my provider.

Manning also says that my biggest obstacle in my journey of trust is my personal sense of insecurity (I’m not spiritual enough to believe God), inadequacy (I’m not mature enough to believe God) and inferiority (I’m not good enough to believe God).  When I default to any of those lies in parentheses I’m not trusting God, I’m trusting me.  That is scary!  I don’t want to give up living out of my true identity and trusting the only Trustworthy One.

So what does it look like for me to trust God today?  Not sure yet.  But I want to be quiet enough so I can listen for His voice and trust what I hear.

“Listen diligently to me, … delight yourselves in rich food.  Incline your ear and come to me; hear that your soul may live.”  Isaiah 55:2b,3

A few weeks ago I mentioned Joanne, the daughter of our dear friends Chuck and Kay.  Many of you has inquired about how Joanne is doing and have assured me of your prayers.  Thank you.  Joanne has been moved to an LTAC ~ Long Term Acute Care facility.  She is making progress.  Her family is overwhelmed by the outpouring of prayer support.  If you would like specific requests, Joanne’s husband Toben updates their prayer requests regularly of her blog, “The Simple Wife”.  As well as knowing how to pray for Joanne today, you will be ministered to by reading his words.

Joanne, her family, and many of you who have allowed me to walk with you in the hard things you are in the midst of have been a big part of my prayer life in this new year.  And you are also part of some of the lessons I’m learning about prayer. You are helping me to pray in the present.

Joanne’s stroke was a flashing red light on the topic of praying in the present.  I guess a crisis has that effect.  But I’m thinking, doesn’t God want me to trust Him every day with all that is happening around me, even if it’s not a crisis?

I have been thinking about praying in the present and it’s implications for the past four months.  God brought it to mind as a corrective.  I was worrying too much ~ especially over one situation.  As I prayed over this worrisome situation, I was praying way into the future.  “What ifs” seemed to be controlling my prayers and fueling my worry.  NOT good.

As a child I learned the Lord’s Prayer recorded in Matthew 6.  The fourth petition says, “Give us this day our daily bread”.  This day!  God is instructing me to ask for my needs for this day.  According to the notes in my Bible this phrase by implication includes all of the believers physical needs.  I wonder if God is pleased when my petitions that go beyond physical needs  focus on this day as well.  Just a thought.

Throughout the Scriptures, God refers to Himself as “I am”.  John 8:58, Jesus says, “Truly, truly, I say to you, before Abraham was, I am”. In Exodus 3 Moses and God are having a conversation during and after the incident with the burning bush.  Several times God refers to Himself as I am.

In the New Testament, many times Jesus uses the phrase, “I am” to speak of himself.  I am the way; I am the light; I am the bread of life; I am the good shepherd; and there are others.  When I think about these claims, I realize they speak to just about everything I pray for.

I am memorizing Psalm 46.  It starts, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”  Until I started memorizing this Psalm and until I started thinking about praying in the present, those words slipped off my tongue without me thinking about the wonderful truth they are conveying.  God IS ~ and I am working on praying in the present.

“fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; …” Isaiah 41:10

What a wonderful gift from God affirmation is.  Last Tuesday our couple’s group convened at our home. That meant I provided the main course and set the table.  I enjoy setting a nice table.  That day I had carefully chosen greens from the trees on our property to mingle with the pinecones surrounding the fat candle for the centerpiece.  It came out well.

As my dear friend ~ and wonderful cook ~ walked through our front door, the aroma of my meatballs met her and she said, “Sue, you are such a good cook”.  You might remember from my first post on affirmation  that it’s often easy for me to discredit that type of affirmation with a comment something like, oh, that is such an easy recipe.   I’m learning.  I thanked her.

I’m also learning that affirmation is hidden in many different circumstances.  God, our ultimate affirmer, is pleased when I learn to recognize them.  Here are a few more places I have experienced affirmation.

1. Affirmation is sometimes most easily recognized in times of great need.  I remember once being very angry about something.  I don’t remember what.  But I was letting anyone (and thankfully that was only Bill) in range of hearing know about my anger.  I finally looked at him with tears in my eyes and said, “Do you even believe I love Jesus?”  He came to me, encircled me with his arms and gently replied, “Of course I do”.
   I melted into his embrace.  With his words and his touch, I was so affirmed.
2. Affirmation means the most when it is a surprise.  I know you can think of many stories when a young child is told, “tell grandma thank you”.  Or “tell grandma, you love her”.  The child is usually obedient but their words are not from their heart.  As the recipient of the words, they may be appreciated but they are not necessarily believed.
   I experienced the opposite when our precious GRANDdaughter was 6 months old.  After traveling for 8 hours in the car, we finally arrived for our weekend visit with our son and his family.  We walked in the kitchen and my daughter-in-law handed Ashlyn to me.  You know what, she hugged me!  And I melted.  Did a 6 month old know what she was doing?  Probably not.  But I decided to accept that hug as an affirmation from God.
3. God is the ultimate affirmer.  He has so many ways of being that besides using little  6 month old children.  His Word offers regular affirmations when I feel like He is speaking directly to me.  He uses other people.  He uses the great hymns of our faith.
   A few years ago I was driving into our headquarters for a meeting and the hymn, “Draw Me Nearer” came to mind.  I hadn’t sung that hymn for years.  I only remembered the first verse.  It ended up being a difficult meeting.
   The next morning as I was alone and processing my experience of the day before, I remembered the hymn.  I got our hymnal from the piano and looked up “Draw Me Nearer”.  As I read the words of the second verse, my eyes filled with tears.  Those words communicated my heart to me.  Oh how I needed the consolation those words provided. I was so affirmed!

Father, would you help me ~ and all my friends reading this post ~ to recognize the affirmation you bring our way.

There is more.  But that’s for another time.

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you.   Philippians 1:3

From my last post you know that quietness is a high value for me in my relationship to God.  But there’s more.

As I sit and ponder what it is that God has for me in the new year, I realized that the best way for me to discern that was to look at what God had already said.  The best way to move forward was by looking back.

So I asked myself two questions …

1. What are the scriptures that God has used significantly in my life?
2. What are the desires that God has put on my heart?

Three scriptures have been highly motivational to me the last several years.

Parts of I Thessalonians 1 in the Message translation says,  “God not only loves you very much … something happened IN you, your life is echoing the Master’s words”.  BTW, this is the scripture that the name of my blog came from.

And I love II Corinthians 2:14, “Thanks be to God … who always leads us …through us spreads the fragrance (some translations say, aroma) of the knowledge of Him everywhere.”

II Corinthians 3:18 says, And we with unveiled face, reflect the glory of God and are being transformed!  Sue paraphrase.

I sum these three scriptures up with the thought that I need to live out who God created me to be.  It is who I am, not what I do that is spreading the aroma of Christ to my friends.

Then I look at the desires God has given me.  Then I sit and listen for an answer to this prayer, “God what will it look like this year to live out who You have created me to be?”

One of my desires is to grow in being a helper to my husband Bill.  Bill’s job often requires that he travel.  To come home is to return to a place of nourishment and refreshment for him.  I desire that our home is a haven for him, for us.  I live out who God created me to be as his wife, by doing things with our home that communicate haven.  The atmosphere in our home is important. Immediate application ~ re-organize my desk in the kitchen!

Another desire is to continue to grow myself in listening to God. One way I’m doing that is by starting my times with God each morning with what I call, “sit and stare”.  For me that means enjoying God’s creation and quieting my heart before Him so I can listen well.  It often means reviewing what God has said in the past.  Philippians 3:1 encourages me in this arena.

And related to that, another desire is to help other women grow in listening to God. So I will continue to blog.  I will continue to lead Bible study.  I will continue to make friends as I enjoy my knitting group.   I will continue to pray that God will show me what this looks like.

“So faith comes from hearing …” Romans 10:17

It is amazing to me that many of the desires I recognize in my life today were birthed years ago in my life experiences or in my journal entries.  But I really shouldn’t be amazed for “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever”, Hebrews 13:8.  Nevertheless I often am.

It was fall in the early 80’s.  I had just taken our younger son to pre-school.  Our older son was a kindergartener.  I returned home and collapsed on the sofa in our living room.   Immediately the hymn, “Blessed Quietness” came to mind.  Ahhhhh, what a gift, a quiet morning is.  I don’t remember what my devotional time looked like specifically that day, but I’m sure it included my Bible and writing of some sort.  More importantly, that morning was a stake in the ground for me.  For the first time that I remember, I realized that quiet was important to me.

The things that God causes us to remember have significance.  I need to pay attention to them.

For my husband, quiet can be happening when there is soft music playing in the background.  For me, quiet needs to be quiet.  In the early 2000’s Bill and I spent a week almost every summer on the deserted beach at Ocracoke, NC.  Each morning we would part ways for our time with the Lord.  For Bill it usually meant a walk on the beach.  At first for me it meant, a cup of coffee in the front yard of the local coffee shop.  I am pretty good at tuning out the comings and goings of others around me.  And I liked feeling like I was part of the community.  But as time went on, I realized as much as I loved the coffee shop, it wasn’t the quiet atmosphere I craved.

I not only wanted quiet, but I needed to be alone to give my attention fully to God.  So my coffee shop mornings moved to the upper deck of the home we were renting where my entire view was across the trees and the sand out to the ocean.  It was a view that God created.  It’s beauty, it’s solitariness and the quiet fed my soul.

I enjoy my times of solitude and silence even more today.  And I’m learning what ingredients need to be present to make these times enriching for me:

• Place is important.  If I can be outdoors, I love that the best.  If not, I love to have a view of God’s creation.
• Space is important.  The mountains in Colorado, the desert of Utah, and the ocean all are places I love to meet with God.  Or in my bedroom facing the double deck doors that look out to the mountains.  I wonder if I’m a bit claustrophobic?
• Simplicity.  I don’t want or need a lot of things around me.  A view, a few books, my journal and a pen are all I need.  And sometimes, my computer.

Christmas was a special treat this year with both our sons, their wives and children with us.  For two weeks the pitter-patter of the feet of our GRANDS graced our home.  We have a lot of fun memories, but it wasn’t quiet!

When our last son and his family pulled away from our driveway, I came back into our home, and collapsed in my favorite chair looking out through our deck doors to the mountains and breathed deeply of the quiet.

“The Lord is my Shepherd … He makes me lie down …He leads me beside still waters … He restores my soul …” excerpts from Psalm 23.

“As he passed by, he saw …”.  These first six words from John 9 have encouraged me greatly this week.  The “he” is Jesus.  Jesus was with his disciples and on his way to somewhere.  Perhaps they were walking along quietly.  My guess is they were talking with each other as they walked.  But either way, they were walking.  As they were walking, Jesus saw someone.  His being with his disciples did not stop him from seeing, seeing someone in need.  In this case it was a blind man and Jesus healed him.  For the rest of the story, please read John 9.

Being blind is a hard thing.  Jesus not only saw, but he healed.

There are hard things all around us too.  It is a great comfort knowing that Jesus … even in the midst of all the other hard things … sees our hard things.  Our son is un-employed; he needs a job.  Two of my friends have prodigal sons who have not yet come home; cancer is everywhere and is no respecter of persons or age; Christmas highlighted hurt relationships.  Hard things … REALLY hard things.

Earlier this week as I was pondering John 9 and praying over these hard things, I made a list of truths to help me through these hard things.  It seemed like rather a simple list and so I decided to keep it for me.  Then another email arrived.

The 38 year-old “healthy” daughter of one of my best friends in Colorado suffered a major stroke while exercising on the treadmill.  She has been in a coma since.  Joanne is not only a daughter, but also a wife and mother to two precious girls. She has an extensive ministry through the books she has authored and her blog, The Simple Wife.  (over 35,000 hits in the last two days).  She is also my friend.  I decided to share my list.

My list helps me to know that Jesus sees these hard things.  And not only does he see but he is working in and through them.  My list is an answer to my question, “If I believe that suffering (hard things) is for the purpose of showing God’s glory, like it was for the blind man in John 9, what should characterize me as I live with the suffering (the hard things) around me?”  Maybe my list will help you.

1. In EVERYthing give thanks.  I Thessalonians 5:18
2. Pray without ceasing … Trust.   Colossians 4:2
3. Take time to ponder, be still and know.   Psalm 46:10
4. Get rid of my Eyore complex (poooooor me)     Matthew 6:16-18
5. Listen to God through His word, through wise friends, through books.  Isaiah 55:1-3
6. Record/journal even when I don’t get it.  John 12:16
7. Review what I know is true.  Philippians 3:1
8. Resist the devil (lies I tend to believe) and he will flee.  James 4:7
9. Consider Jesus and his hard things.  Hebrews 12:3
10. Replay the well-known.   Psalm 23; Romans 8:18 and following;  John 15

We all have hard things in our lives.  I would be honored to walk with you and pray for you too as you walk through the hard things in your life.  Please, allow me to be your friend.

It was Sunday and we were visiting a town we had lived in previously.  I was sitting in church before the service began reading the bulletin.  And I snapped!  Not visibly mind you, but in my heart I was hurt, very hurt.  I’m quite sure my worship was greatly hindered that day or perhaps non-existent.

The reality of my heart collided with the reality of an event at the church.  There was a women’s retreat planned and I had not been asked to be the speaker.  My heart desperately wants to minister to women.  That was not a new desire.  And at that time my definition of ministry was pretty narrow – speaking.

One of my life lessons is that I need to continue to crucify my sinful nature.  That nature causes me to compare myself with other women.  I am never good enough.  My ministry is never as spiritual or as significant as theirs.  The place where I am most vulnerable is the place of my desire.  Wanting to minister to women is a good desire.  God put it in my heart long ago.  But that desire can also derail me.

As I was pondering this on a walk one day, I realized my vulnerability displayed itself in primarily two general circumstances.  One circumstance I could almost always count on to bring up my vulnerability was when I was with a group of women with similar hearts to mine … like staff get-togethers for the Navs.  I could count on it, I knew I would compare, I knew I would struggle.  But there were other times when my vulnerability would show itself that caught me off guard, like that Sunday reading the bulletin in church.  There had been no thought ahead of time that day that would have helped me prepare for my sinful reaction.

It was kind of like school.  Sometimes there are tests.  I know ahead of time that they are coming and I prepare for them.  Sometimes there are quizzes.  I don’t know ahead of time and I can’t prepare.  I need to be ready.  And then to continue the analogy, there are the final exams.  They too can be prepared for.

In my life I believe I am ready for the “final exam”.  I’ve trusted in the work of Jesus on the cross for that.  I’m becoming aware of those  “tests” that I’m walking into and I’m learning to prepare for them.  And I know too that there will continue to be “quizzes” in my life, those things that catch me by surprise.  I’m doing better on them these days too.  As I’m learning my places of vulnerability, the places where my sinful nature displays itself, I’m also learning to prepare for them by reviewing the truth of the Scriptures.  The truth is gradually becoming my default.  It feels good.

As a bonus, as I’m learning to be content with where God has me, ministry is happening.  Go figure.  🙂

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely …”.  Hebrews 12:1

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light”.  Matthew 11:28, 30

It’s been a journey.  It started in college in 1966.  At least that’s when I have memory of it.  And it continues.

In the fall of ’66, God drew me into a brand new relationship with Him.  Christianity became for me more than my religion, it was now a relationship with God.  I became His child.  “But to all who received Him, who believed in His name, He gave power to become the children of God”.   John 1:12

It wasn’t until years later that I realized I wasn’t only His child, but as His child, I was the recipient of His lavished love!  WOW!!!  “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called the children of God and that is exactly who we are”. I John 3:1

Then I began to grasp the concept that I was chosen and adopted.  I was wanted!  How wonderfully affirming that is to me.

As part of my adoption, there is purpose.  There is direction.  There is reason.  “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit…”.  John 15:16

About 3 years ago while reading one of Eugene Peterson’s books about Jeremiah, an amazingly wonderful truth grabbed my heart.  “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.  And before you were born, I consecrated you …”  Jeremiah 1:5  Before I was even born into my family God had a purpose for me;  He had set me apart for something special!  God whispered that truth to me privately.  It was a life-changer.

About a year later, The hymn, “Draw Me Nearer” also spoke to my heart along the same lines.  The second verse starts, “Consecrate me now to Thy service Lord by the power of grace divine.  May my soul look up with a steadfast hope and my will be lost in Thine”.  That gave words to my heart.

And then God affirmed it in a public setting.  Actually I was the only one who realized the profound truth of my being anointed with oil.  But I was the only one who needed to realize it.  I was anointed because I was consecrated for something special.  I needed that re-affirmed for me.

I imagine the journey will continue.  And that is one of my prayers for 2011, this new year … that I will be in tune with God’s affirmations for me.  They make a difference!

Ephesians 1:5,  “In love, He predestined us for adoption according to the purpose of His will”.

Mary’s worship song takes a turn right after her declaration that “he who is mighty has done great things for me”.  Up to this point Mary was worshipping God remembering all He had done for her.  Now she turns her attention to what God does in general.  The Scripture records go from the first person to the third person.

Mary bookends this part of the song with the theme of God’s mercy.  The names of the bookends extol how God shows His mercy.

The first bookend is about God’s strength.  Our little GRANDson sings about God’s strength, “our God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there’s nothing our God cannot do”.  The words of that child’s song challenge me.  Do I really believe there is nothing my God cannot do?  I’m living with several unanswered prayers.  It causes me to wonder if God really can do ANYthing.  That thought leads me into Mary’s second comment about the proud.

Am I so arrogant or proud as to think that I know the best way for God to answer my prayers?  A few years ago I was listening to a missionary report.  The missionary was telling us about a pastor in the persecuted church who had asked that we NOT pray FOR him, but that we pray WITH him.  His greatest desire was for the advance of the gospel in his country.  Other things like the persecution he lived with was not as important.  My prayers might be asking for lesser things.

Mary’s third comment is another aspect of pride.  God brings down the mighty and He exalts the humble.  Mary is thinking about a lot of history as she sings this verse.  But this verse is not just history.  God still is doing this.  And I’m thankful … at least after a while.  I’m thankful for my friend who recently questioned my thinking on a particular scripture passage.  I had cross references lined up to support my proud thought.  As I pondered her question, I came to the conclusion that I really don’t know exactly what God means by this passage.  I need to be humble.  I may not be right!  It was good to admit that to her.

Mary’s fourth comment reminds us about how God is able to fill the hungry and deal with the rich.  This contrast tells me that God is the provider and the great equalizer.  He is faithful.  He will meet our needs.  Because of being career missionaries this concept is very real.  Bill and I have no guaranteed salary.  Over the years we have seen God provide faithfully for us.  As a wedding gift one of our friends made a calligraphy print of part of Psalm 84:11 for us.  “… no good thing does the Lord withhold …”.  We have prayed that scripture for the last 38 years.  God is faithful.

Her last comment is about how God has helped his servant Israel.  God is still in the business of helping.  I’m experiencing that as God answers my almost daily prayer, “God, what would it look like to trust You today?”  I need His help daily.

And Mary leads us back to the topic of mercy, the bookend.

These are heavy comments.  Two bookends are needed.  The other bookend that is supporting the mercy bookends is the generation bookend.  Verse 50, “And his mercy is … from generation to generation”.  Verse 55, “as he spoke to our fathers, to Abraham and to his offspring forever.”  As an adopted child of my heavenly Father, I am one of Abraham’s offspring.  Everything that was true about God for Abraham is true about God for me and for my children and grandchildren and for all the future generations of the children of God.  What an incredible God!

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”  Hebrews 13:8

I just HAVE to tell you!  I’m so excited I’m about to burst!  REALLY!  Our son just received word that he won the prestigious fellowship he applied for.  J  (I didn’t even know that when I wrote my first draft of this post.  But what a wonderful gift and illustration that is.)  You know, I think that’s how Mary felt after Elizabeth’s affirmation.  She just had to burst into song.  I find it interesting that Mary’s song did not come after Gabriel’s announcement to Mary it came after Elizabeth’s affirmation.  There is something special about the affirmation of a girlfriend … or in this case a female relative.  God, please help me to be an affirming friend to the women I come across today.

God, through Gabriel and Elizabeth, said to Mary, I love you.
Mary’s response, her song is saying back to God, I love you.  It was worship.

Mary’s song came from the depth of who she was.  She says, “my soul magnifies… my spirit rejoices” in “the Lord” … in “God my Savior”.  In the words Lord and Savior, Mary acknowledges who God is in her life.  Previously she had referred to herself as a servant, this time she speaks of the same relationship only looking at it from God’s side.  He is her Lord.  And like me, Mary needed a Savior.  Like me, God is her Savior.

But it was the next few verses that caused me to burst into song.  Mary says, “for …” or “because” and lists four reasons why she is magnifying and rejoicing in her Lord and Savior.

1. “He has looked on the humble estate of his servant.”  When God looked at Mary, He saw humility.  He saw a servant.  Those observations affirmed to Mary His love for her.  My question for me, what does God see when He looks on me and how has God affirmed His love for me today?
2. “… all generations will call me blessed;”  That started with Elizabeth.  A few chapters later another woman called Mary blessed.  Jesus was there and He responded, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!”  Luke 11:28.  Both are true.  Mary was blessed.  I can be too.  My question, what do you want me to hear today God so I can trust, so I can respond and so I can be blessed?
3. “He… has done great things for me,” God was active in Mary’s life.  My question, how have I seen God active in my life this past week?
4. “… holy is His name.”  This character quality of God seemed to summarize for Mary all that she was experiencing.  My question, what would be the character quality I would ascribe to God as a result of my experience with Him recently?Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name!  Psalm 103:1