A small group of friends were together one evening enjoying friendship and conversation. We know each other fairly well and so decided to share an affirmation exercise. We drew one name out of a hat and she was chosen. Then each of us in turn made eye contact with her and shared what we observed and appreciated about how God created her. We all had stories to back up what we shared. Once in a while she broke eye contact.

Affirmation is sometimes hard to receive.

My friend Janet Kowalski

Another friend spent an evening at an art gallery with her friends creating this lovely welcome sign for their new home. She posted this picture on Facebook. Didn’t she do a great job?! I could respond and say, Janet, this is beautiful. I love how you integrated the dragonflies with the foliage. Or I could say, Janet, I love how God created you with the eye of an artist, an eye for beauty, an eye for color. And I love your heart for sharing it with others. It shows not only in your painting, I also see it in your writing.

My first response was a compliment. The second an affirmation.

A compliment is a polite expression noticing what someone has done. It highlights their work.
An affirmation acknowledges the source of their doings. It calls out God’s work in their lives.

Compliments seem to be more common in our culture than affirmations. I want my compliments to be ensconced in affirmations. Do you remember my word for 2024? Click here.

In life, we almost naturally live out who God created us to be. Others notice the applications of our identity and often compliment it. I’m challenged to consider where those applications originated and acknowledge it.

Affirmations are often harder to accept than compliments. We don’t know what to do with them. Or we down-play their significance. In the past, several times I’ve been affirmed on my gift of hospitality. For many years, my response was, Oh that’s easy. I like hospitality. To me, other things were important, hospitality was not. I didn’t accept that hospitality was one of the ways God created me.

A few friends have noted that I am wise. Really??? Wisdom does have a higher ranking in my human mind than hospitality. But I still had a hard time believing it.

So how do I respond?

It leads me to dependence, to prayer.
God, how can I continue to mature into who you created me to be. Amen.
Affirmations never lead to pride; they lead to humility, recognizing God’s work.

Could it be that the affirmations of another are God’s messages to me?
Could it be that their words are something I need to trust, to develop, to grow into?

If another doesn’t know how to respond to affirmations, does that mean that I stop giving them?
BY NO MEANS, to quote Paul in his letter to the Romans. I do need to back up my affirmations with stories. Affirmations are not empty words. Affirmations are transformational. Affirmations invite me to join God in noticing his creation of my friends.

My responsibility is not their response.
My responsibility is to continue to develop as an affirming person.

Copyright: Sue Tell, February 2024