I’m a gramma, a communicator, a lover of hospitality, a writer, a cross-generational friend, a neighbor, an extrovert, and more. My husband says telephone is my spiritual gift which I sometimes supplement with texting. I love ministry, our church, and traveling with my husband. And Bill sometimes rolls his eyes!

Do you see the common denominator? I am a connector and I am also a finite being. Finite beings need limits!

“We praise you, O Lord, for our limits!
Limits you have given us for our good and for your glory.
…
we praise you for the boundaries of our beings!
You have made us finite creatures
that we might be held and known.”
Every Moment Holy, p. 65

“The LORD bless you and keep you;” are the first words of the famous Priestly blessing that the Lord entrusted to Moses to speak over the people of Israel. Numbers 6:24.

The remaining chapters of Numbers clarifies to Moses (“The Lord spoke to Moses …” is recorded 47 times) who communicates to the people the specifics of how this blessing will become reality.

“The LORD spoke to Moses …
Command the people of Israel,
When you enter the land of Canaan (the promised land) …
as defined by its borders,”
Numbers 34:1,2 (italics mine)

God not only imposes borders on lands, he created us with borders too. Limits for our good and His glory.

Ben and Alayna

Ben and Alayna are our good friends. Ben is an introvert; Alayna is an extrovert. In these first years of marriage they are learning how to navigate that reality. Their people limits are very different. Ministry is their career — a highly peopled career.

They share the same calling and the same heart to serve God.

As an introvert, Ben is very aware of his people capacity. His chosen career causes him to be with lots of people. And he knows his limits and works hard at living within those boundaries. He understands that following a full day with others, he needs to retreat to their spare bedroom, be alone, play his guitar, and recharge.

Alayna’s people limits are much larger. She can meet a friend for coffee in the morning; workout at the gym in the afternoon connecting with friends there; lead a Bible study on campus in the evening; return home and look forward to de-briefing with Ben.

“For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you,
for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.”
Psalm 139:13, 14

Although God created Ben and Alayna with opposite strengths, they are both committed to the scriptures. God knitted them together and drew them in marriage for their good and His glory. But the application of how that is lived out is very different. It’s been a good journey for them.

My husband is an introvert; I am an extrovert. We understand Ben and Alayna’s journey.

As we’ve navigated a similar path, and learned to respect each other’s limits, a few practices we follow are …

* Honoring each other’s giftings. Bill defers hospitality to me.
* Submit to each other’s strengths. Sometimes Bill laughs at my wanting to decorate for minor holidays, but he always supports it.
* Communicate lots; not assuming we’re on the same page.
* Knowing times when we can push each other’s limits; and times when we need to hold back.
* Remembering we’re both finite beings in the hands of an infinite God.
* Learning to be thankful for each other’s uniqueness.

“I have seen a limit to all perfection,
but your commandment is exceedingly broad.”
Psalm 119:96

What have you learned about living with others with different strengths than yours?

Copyright:  Sue Tell, May 2023