Owen, almost 17 months old discovering the wide open desert, those innumerable grains of sand (Hebrews 11:12); for me a picture of vast.

“How precious to me are your thoughts O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the sand.”
Psalm 139:17, 18

I wonder what is going through Owen’s mind as he stands on this vast sea of sand. Is he overwhelmed?

I imagine at 17 months his thoughts aren’t so deep as to compare this desert with God’s thoughts for him. But we, with a few more years to our names can be overwhelmed with not only the vastness of God’s thoughts about us, also overwhelmed with the vastness of God’s love toward us.

Eugene Peterson’s rendition of verses 17 and 18 reads, “Your thoughts – how rare, how beautiful! God, I’ll never comprehend them! I couldn’t even begin to count them – any more than I could count the sand of the sea.”

I agree. I’ll never comprehend them. I don’t even want to! God is so much bigger than my thoughts.

God invites us to live with expectancy; to live with trust. My desire is that will characterize our lives trusting the vastness of his wisdom; trusting the vastness of his grace; trusting the vastness of his kindness; trusting the vastness of his love.

The virgin birth or the resurrection will never make sense apart from trusting the vastness of God’s love. Or how we have experienced God’s vast work in our own lives.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.”
Proverbs 3:5

God, I pray, would you help us to live in expectancy today; live with trust today; live focusing on the vastness of your love. Amen.

Stuart Townend penned these words, taking us from the cradle to the resurrection, testifying to the vastness of God’s love. Let’s live with expectancy in 2022, the expectancy of experiencing God’s love. You can listen here.

How deep the Father’s love for us,
How vast beyond all measure,
That He should give His only Son …

Copyright, Sue Tell, December 2021

Traveling to the wilderness of Alaska was a daunting thought. I’d never been to Alaska, let alone a small island without cell service or wi-fi, or even flush toilets! There was no Walmart for those last minute whatevers. I experienced the last frontier.

It was an expensive venture. After the 737s to Anchorage and then Kodiak Island, Beaver float planes, Cessna’s carrying no more than 9 of us, or a metal skiff (think large row boat) with an outboard motor transported us to Harvester Island.

Looking back over 2021, my Alaska trip to the small writer’s retreat was a BIG highlight.

“And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying,
‘This is the way, walk in it,'”
Isaiah 30:21

Long before those 737s winged me north last September, the process began, the way started. It was a long walk before stepping on that big bird.

A year ago, on another island in a very different climate, I sat for two weeks overlooking the

Our Writing Studio with Fin whales bones at the entrance.

Caribbean pondering the story of Jonah and his Fin whale experience. Never did I expect that it would be the first step in my own Fin whale story.

But it was.

Last month during Advent, I thought again about those names for the child recorded for us in Isaiah 9 … Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. It was an ah-ha time for me. As I walked the journey culminating on Harvester Island, God was indeed all those for me.

In considering this opportunity, I reached out to eight trusted friends asking for their wisdom. Their encouragements, questions, and even concerns were so helpful. Through them I experienced God as my counselor.

Mighty God refers to the title for the LORD himself. I was reminded of Psalm 37:5, “Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act.” This potential adventure was so far beyond my experience, I needed my Mighty God, the LORD to work on my behalf. From finances, to Covid tests, to new friends, the many details to trust God with sometimes overwhelmed.

Everlasting Father describes a benevolent protector. We boarded the plane in Anchorage to go to Kodiak Island. Luggage stowed, seat-belts fastened, and then the pilot’s welcoming message, “We are taking off, but the weather is not good. We will make one attempt to land in Kodiak. If that one attempt fails, we’ll return to Anchorage.” Many prayers were sent off on that short flight. About 30 minutes later, “The weather hasn’t changed. I’ll make our one attempt to land. It doesn’t look good.” I tugged on my seat-belt tighter. More prayers. Then, “Flight attendants, prepare for landing.” My breath stuck in my throat. On how my benevolent protector was needed! He was faithful.

There were many opportunities to trust God’s gift of peace over those nine days. I prayed a lot. Peace was sometimes elusive … like when the small barge I was on steered so very close to those huge Fin whales swimming on Uyak Bay! Again, I held my breath. Those whales could have toppled our barge. Remembering back, my Prince of Peace held me tight!

photo courtesy of Mary Hargrave

Looking ahead to 2022, I don’t know the circumstances that God will orchestrate asking me to trust Him as my Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace. Alaska taught me about expectancy, the expectancy of God showing up in those moments I needed Him.

It’s not so much a new year’s resolution as it helps define who I want to continue to be, a woman of expectancy.

God, please grow my knowing.
Help me to listen for your whispers.
Help me to look for your love.
Help me to lean into your truth.
Help me to live with expectancy,
the expectancy of knowing you …
my Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Amen.

Expectancy is my word for 2022. What is your word?

Copyright, Sue Tell, January 2022

Thank you to my friends for sharing some of their prayers as we walk together into 2022. May you be encouraged and blessed as you pray them for yourself as well.

Each of these ladies represent a geographic milestone in my spiritual journey. Bill and I started our married life in Illinois, moved to California, and then to Colorado. And although Alaska was only a 9 day trip, it was a life-transforming time for me. Friendship is a wonderful gift.

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Lord, may the Holy Spirit overshadow me, just as it did Mary. May I consent to it too and always be ready to be covered and upheld by You. I cannot comprehend Your power, but in my unknowing, grow me and challenge me to trust You. Thank you Lord that I am Yours. Help me to look ahead and know You will remain faithful.
Amen.

Susan Brammer, one of my friends from our California days.

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Dear Lord – I offer you my complete faith, deepest love and unending gratitude. Each and every day, though to my imperfect vision the world seems to be spinning out of control, You assure me that you have everything in hand, and all is unfolding according to Your will. 

Help me see in the people I meet, the places I walk, the circumstances that fill my days, Your gracious blessings. Let me feel within my breast the steady, warm glow of Your Spirit, gifted to guide me and comfort me until the day I come to live with You in Heaven.

Let each prayer I lift to you begin with thanks, but also keep me ever mindful of those in need, for You hear our hearts always. Help me understand You always respond to prayer, but sometimes not in the way I might expect. Give me faith to accept Your will is always perfect.

Send me into the world as a light shining in the darkness. While my influence may be small, it is not meaningless or ineffectual, for You are present in my efforts.  Let it be with me as it was with Mary: “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.” (Luke 1:46-47) 

Dearest Lord, let me always remember: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13) Amen.

Janet Taillie Kowalski, a new friend. We met in Alaska

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Being expectant is hard Lord, but l’m leaning in to my expectancy that you will fulfill your promises towards me and my family in 2022.  Luke 1:45 says, “Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her.”  Lord, believing your promises is what has been most difficult for me in the last two years. Promises that say that You will never stop working in me to fulfill your good purposes [Phil 2:13].  The struggles of the last two years have worn me down and caused me to doubt, but Lord in Psalm 42 you reminded me to “hope in You”.  Thank you Lord that even when I wasn’t leaning in to You your Spirit was doing it for me; your Spirit had searched my mind and heart and uttered “groans too deep for words [Romans 8]” on my behalf. This year, I pray that I will not lose heart and I will be renewed daily as I pursue things that are unseen and eternal [1 Cor. 4:16-18]. Help me believe and trust in your steadfast love which endures forever giving thanks to You because You are good! [Psalm 118] Amen and Amen!

Denise Grace is a Colorado friend. She and I have been walking this spiritual journey together for many years.

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I love this picture of worship, especially in the posture of the child playing Mary. Thank you to  Kodiak Baptist Church in Alaska. She seems to know; she is expectant; she is wondering; she is worshiping.

I am so excited about worship! For me, this is new.

Worshiping is living expectancy. Worship is trusting God to show up.

Worship is being captivated all over again by the awe of Christmas, like the shepherds.

“And suddenly
there was with the angel
a multitude of heavenly host
praising God and saying,
‘Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace among those wit whom he is pleased!'”
Luke 2:13 and 14

The multitude was thousands of angels. Thousands sent by God (Luke 2:9 and 15) to communicate to the shepherds. God communicates in BIG ways!

The shepherds responded,  “And they went with haste …” (Luke 2:16) “And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God [worshiping] for all they had heard and seen …” (Luke 2:20)

Coming and going, the shepherds responded to God.

“Ascribe to the LORD, O families of the peoples,
ascribe to the LORD glory and strength!
Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name;
bring an offering, and into his courts!
Worship the LORD in the splendor of holiness;
tremble before him, all the earth!”
(Psalm 96:7-9)

What a wonderful definition of worship – ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name.
Look and notice. Listen to the familiar and once again be in awe. Be amazed by God’s creation.
Expect to see God in his words.

Twenty of us walked through the water in our knee boots to the barge that took us and our 50 pound suitcases from Harvester Island across Uyak Bay to the 9-passenger Cessna that would fly us back to civilization. The Doxology happened. We lifted our voices to God. We lifted our voices in thanksgiving. We lifted our voices in worship. We lifted our voices in awe of all we experienced of God’s creation.

“Praise God from whom all blessings flow
Praise Him, all creatures here below
Praise Him above the Heavenly host
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost.”

For me worship has been a journey.  And I’m quite sure the journey will continue. Being on Harvester Island in Alaska for a week was a key chapter. God taught me worship through his amazing animal creation. The Orcas, the seals, the whales, the deer, even the tiny Ermines spoke of God’s amazing creation; and I worshiped.

“The basic reality of God is plain enough.
Open your eyes and there it is!
By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created,
people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can’t see:
eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of his divine being”
(Romans 1:19 and 20, The Message; bolding mine.)

As a college student, in the church I attended the large choir processed every Sunday singing the hymn, “Holy, Holy, Holy”. It was a previous chapter in my worship journey. I’ve taken the freedom to add another verse to Reginald Heber’s words.

Holy, holy, holy, my creator, redeemer
Jesus came, I praise your name
This Christmas-tide, amen.
Holy, holy, holy, Lord, God, my Father
Rescuer, my shepherd, forevermore, Amen.

My friend Carolyn texted about her worship journey “… grasping worship in a new depth. …. It can take so many forms, songs of praise, a quiet hush of pure awe with a heart that feels like it’s bursting … at the amazement of God, overwhelmed by creation or acts of love … I don’t think we will really grasp it this side of heaven, but someday … an amazing thought.”

Worship is mystery. It will take as many forms as people who ascribe to God the glory due his name.

Worship is a growing experience.

Worship is being captivated by God.

Worship is expectancy – expecting to see God in his creation.

May your worship this Christmas offer you many way to experience God.

Do you have children in your life? I read this book to our GRANDS via Zoom last night for the second Christmas in a row. It will keep them spell-bound and teach them about expectancy.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!  And may your Christmas celebration be filled with the same awe, the same wonder, the same expectancy that the shepherds experienced when they heard about the birth of Jesus.

Copyright: Sue Tell, December 2021

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This is where I rest my eyes most mornings during my time with God. Each fire I lay starts with kindling (a noun). Ros’ words below are a wonderful metaphor. But think of kindling as a verb as you read.

I’ve introduced my Scottish friend, Ros, to you before. She is a master at sharing her life and bringing life to the Word of God. Thank you again, Ros!!

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“The neighbourhood is quiet. Outside the air is crisp, and in these hours since the sun set, tiny glistening armies of frost have surreptitiously crept over the hedges and bins, gaining ground for the winter.

Inside the quietness continues. The only noise I hear is the slight creaking of the log-burning stove as flames lick the side of the iron. I hear the air being sucked down through the flue to the sky. I can just about detect the timorous roar of burning timber.

While the audible is notable for its discretion, the visual is without restraint. My eyes are riveted on the fire. Darting yellows and flickering oranges, a stark contrast to the black framing of the stove window. These flames, winsome and alluring, somehow invite you to be mesmerised; their dance both calming and rousing to behold.

It seems a miracle to me, as I sit and watch, that fire exists. Powerful and beautiful, and so very very hot..

Each time I come to light a stove, I perform fire-making rituals. Sometimes I start by cleaning the stove window, for maximum joy at seeing the flames. Then I lay a bed of some sort of fire-starter, a few pieces of kindling, and then a couple of smaller logs. I open the vents of the stove, to let precious oxygen in. Finally, I strike a small piece of magic wood (a match) and let the blaze begin.

What I’ve learned over the years is that kindling is very significant to this task. Try to light a fire without it, no joy is to be had. Similarly, choose kindling that’s not dried out sufficiently, or is insubstantial, and all you gain is the cold disappointment of firelessness. But however good your kindling is, kindling by itself won’t start a fire. Some kind of accelerant or spark – which for me seems like a form of wizardry, but is, in actual fact, chemistry – is needed to set the pile aglow with flame..

Over these past weeks, as I’ve been laying many fires, it’s occurred to me that my inner-flame acts in a similarly mystical way. In and of myself, I cannot generate the burning within me that fizzes with energy for my Creator. I long to have spiritual vitality, to be ‘on fire’ for Jesus, but I am incapable of creating that myself.

For our God is a consuming fire, the writer of Hebrews proclaims (Hebrews.12:29), quoting a declaration to the people of Israel that we see in Deuteronomy 4. The imagery of fire is used throughout scripture to denote the power and supremacy of God: A pillar of fire led the people of Israel through the desert (Exodus 13:21), God spoke to Moses through a burning bush (Exodus 3:2).

When you come into the New Testament we see John the Baptist announcing that the coming Christ will baptise with the Holy Spirit and with fire (Matt.3:11). The day of Pentecost comes and divided tongues as of fire rested on the disciples (Acts 2:1-15).

My point is this: throughout scripture fire is used as something that God brings, not man. I cannot set my own heart alight with the power of the Holy Spirit any more than I can ask the moon to change the course of its axis. It’s beyond my capacity: I’m utterly dependent the mystical Flame-Bestower for ignition.

BUT – and here’s the point: in this state of fire-dependency, I do still have choices about how I lay the fire.

And this is where the kindling comes in.

If I want to give the Holy Spirit the best opportunity to dazzle me with the brilliance of the Godhead, whilst I can’t orchestrate that myself, I can enable myself to be in a position to receive. A small piece of kindling is unremarkable by itself, but exceptionally significant in the ignition and sustaining of a fire.

A spiritual piece of kindling might be meditating on scripture. It could be going for a prayer walk. It might be silent, it might be loud. It could be singing, it could be fellowship. Kindling moments for me often, but not exclusively, take place in the dim early and late hours of each day. Moments to take stock or look ahead. Moments where I’m reminded (because I so quickly forget) that I’m deeply and totally loved.

These kindling moments are the bread and butter of following Jesus; ordinary and unremarkable, not always that interesting. But every now and then the mighty Firestarter blows a little air onto the flame and somethings changes: revelation is experienced, clarity is given, fervour is felt.

I often hear from people saying they just don’t experience God, and I look at their lives and wonder whether they’re ever actually putting themselves in a place to be set alight. Of course, the Holy Spirit can start a fire with no kindling at all, but the not-preparing-the-hearth makes it less likely that we’ll even notice the flames in the first place. Kindling invokes expectancy: we long to burn.

This metaphor breaks down in one major area: the lighting of a stove is an entirely functional transaction. The ignition of a soul-fire is entirely relational. I burn when I place myself in positions to receive love. I respond to the being-loved by loving back, and loving others. I respond to the burning with adoration, awe and gratitude. And for those soul-fire moments, I’m mesmerised by the flames, and what they show me of the mighty, passionate Firestarter.

And so as I return to the present-day fire-side, I wonder what kindling I’m being invited to lay this Advent season. I confess, I’m simultaneously both tired, and wired. I’d love to try some new things, but lack the creativity or stillness to muster ideas. Yet even as I write I sense the reminder that setting the kindling isn’t an onerous task. It doesn’t have to be sophisticated or clever. There is nothing to prove. Put simply, the invitation is to come, as we are, and receive. That’s the key, not the form it takes.

Just before the soporific affect of the stove dulls my cognitions towards sleep, the words of a song come to mind, and I leave these words as a prayer for us in these dark waiting weeks. Come, Lord Jesus, come.

Holy fire from heaven
Descend to us we pray, let us burn again
Holy fire from heaven, consume our hearts today
Let us burn again, let us burn again
Holy breath from heaven, descend to us we pray
Let us breathe again
Holy breath from heaven, revive our hearts today
Let us breathe again, let us breathe again

Rosalyn Boydell

Waiting in expectancy
Surrendered to your sovereignty
We’re hungry for true intimacy, Lord
For the things of your heart
Holy stream from heaven,
Descend to us we pray, let us drink again”

Me again:
What does it look like for you to kindle expectancy as we enter 2022?
What habits do you want to kindle to live in expectancy?

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

A big piece of the joy of our salvation is the gift of wonder; wonder lived out in expectancy.

Our oldest GRAND, Jack, (now 15) was only 3 years old when he saw his first rainbow. His picture hangs above my desk and speaks wonder, amazement, marveling, expectancy. I never want to stop wondering and being amazed and expectant by God’s creation. God delights in our child-like wonder and expectancy.

Zechariah struggled with the concept of wonder. His knowing didn’t allow him to trust Gabriel’s message, an answer to his own long-prayed prayer. “But the angel said to him, ‘Do not be afraid, Zechariah, for your prayer has been heard, and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall call his name John.'” (Luke 1:13) His response, “How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is advanced in years.” (Luke 1:18) Zechariah had expectations based on his human understanding. God was on the move and Zechariah failed to trust. Expectancy foiled. Wonder aborted.

The theme of wonder continues through Luke’s narrative.  All their neighbors knew of God answering Zechariah and Elizabeth’s many-long-years prayer for a son. They rejoiced with them when the baby was born. But then! The baby is now eight days old and it’s time for him to be publicly named and circumcised. The neighbors were sure he would be named Zechariah  after his father. Elizabeth surprised them all, “No; he shall be called John.” (Luke 1:60).

Not trusting Elizabeth, the neighbors turned to Zechariah. He wrote on a tablet confirming, “his name is John”. And they all wondered! Eugene Peterson’s words in The Message Rendition read, “That took everyone by surprise. Surprise followed surprise …”

This piece of the narrative concludes, “A deep, reverential fear settle over the neighborhood, and in all that Judean hill country people talked about nothing else. Everyone who heard about it took it to heart, wondering, ‘What will become of this child? Clearly, God has his hand in this.'” (Luke 1:65 and 66, The Message). Their sense of expectancy now alive.

Zechariah’s story is only the beginning of the concept of wonder throughout the Christmas narrative and beyond. Other words used are “considered” (Joseph in Matthew 1:20); “troubled” (Zechariah in Luke 1:12); “greatly troubled and tried to discern” (Zechariah in Luke 1:29); “wondered” (used to describe the Shepherds as well, (Luke 2:18); “treasured, pondered” (Mary in Luke 2:19 and 51); “marveled” (Mary and Joseph in Luke 2:33).

Wonder is often shown in the questions we ask. Not the demanding questions … like prove it; not the challenging questions … like really, this couldn’t be. Rather, the desiring questions, help me to believe, help me to trust. Please, will you grow my faith. Help me to live with expectancy.

Wonder may often be best seen through the eyes of a child in their amazement, curiosity, openness and in their simple trusting questions.

We too practice wonder when we live out our child-like faith.

Wonder can lead to expectancy.

“Rather than expectations, I’ve learned to maintain expectancy,
which is a sense of awe at the divine-human encounter
that is breaking in on everything we call ordinary and routine.”
Craig Barnes, Diary of a Pastor’s Soul

Leah is our youngest GRAND, just 20 months old this Christmas. This photo is from last Christmas. Do you see the wonder as she ponders those tiny Christmas lights. I have this one hanging right under the picture of Jack. I learn so much from our GRANDS.

How would you title this picture?

Father, I ask for myself, I ask for my friends, that our sense of wonder would be alive and well this Christmas season. May we live with the expectancy and awe of encountering and experiencing You each and every day. Amen

Thursday, December 23, Worship and Expectancy.

Copyright, Sue Tell, December 2021

“It is a wonderful, mysterious, hard-to-grasp, and beyond-the-scope-of our-normal-reasoning story.” Paul David Tripp

Phew! Someone more wise, more godly than me said it.

Last Easter was another one of those stake-in-the-ground times for me spiritually. I admitted first to myself and then out-loud … the resurrection … I can’t get my head around it; it is too hard to believe.

I’ve been a missionary for 50 years. Are those thoughts a seasoned missionary should entertain?

And the virgin birth – it’s right up there with the resurrection.

I find comfort in Zechariah’s life. He understands. Luke 1 shares some of his story.

He was a priest – I am a missionary. He served God vocationally. I serve God vocationally.
He was married – I am married.
He was described as righteous before God – me too.
and walking blamelessly with God – I hope that describes me.
He was human – me too.
He was a praying man – I’m there.
He knew the hard of unanswered prayer – I identify.
He was visited by and had a conversation with an angel – yes, I think so.

“Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers,
for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”
Hebrews 13:2

The angel delivered an astonishing message. God was going to answer Zechariah’s prayer and he and his wife Elizabeth were going to have a son.

Eugene Peterson renders Zechariah’s response, “Do you expect me to believe this? I am an old man and my wife is an old woman.” Luke 1:18

Zechariah’s knowing didn’t allow him to believe. His humanity over-ruled.

Expectancy is being asked to arouse hope.

“What no eye has seen, nor ear heard,
nor the heart of man imagined,
what God has prepared for those who love him”
I Corinthians 2:9

Peterson’s words in Luke 1:4 say, “so that you may know beyond the shadow of a doubt.”

This is a different kind of knowing.
This knowing is faith-based.
This knowing is trust-based.
This knowing is love-based.
This knowing is hope-based.
This knowing is mystery-based.
This knowing is expectancy.

After last Easter I wrote this prayer.

God, please grow my knowing.
Help me to press on in trust, press on in faith, press on in knowing You.
May the power of Your resurrection be my testimony, my knowing.
God, please grow my knowing. Amen.

I based it on three scriptures: John17:3, Philippians 3:10, and Hosea 6:3. I pray it for myself almost daily. And I’m keeping a list of additional scriptures I come across on the expectancy of knowing.

I identify with the words of Craig Barnes in his book, The Diary of a Pastor’s Soul, “Somewhere along the line I got much less interested in talking about this stunning hope and so much more devoted to believing it.”

The virgin birth is beyond-the-scope-of-my-normal-reasoning. I’m human. I’m glad. I want to live with the expectancy of knowing an amazing, very big, very wise, very able, very mysterious, very loving, God.

God, help me to live with faith-based expectancy this Advent, the expectancy of You showing up in surprising ways. God, please continue to grow my knowing. Amen.

“The safest place to camp in this mystery is worship.”
Bryan Counts

My friend Kate created this bookmark for me from the prayer I wrote last Easter.  Let me know in the comments if you would like one. Merry Christmas.

Copyright, Sue Tell, December 2021

Before arriving on Harvester, that one-mile by half-mile-wide Island in the Gulf of Alaska, I landed at the Anchorage airport. I stood in front of a huge taxidermied moose, excitement oozing from my being. And I heard the whisper of God.

Sue, release expectations; embrace expectancy.

I understand release and embrace, but expectations and expectancy?
How are they different?
What was God saying?

I went with it – whatever it meant. Was this huge Alaskan mammal a clue?

I had expectations. I was attending a writing workshop after all. I would get help with writing.

And I remember the words of a friend who had gone before, Sue, it is so much more than a writing workshop, it is a wilderness adventure, a soul-stretching, soul-enriching experience. I was all in. And, I thought I understood her words. In the past I’ve attended retreats majoring on my soul. I have led retreats on the same topic. I had expectations of a soul experience.

If I had let those expectations reign, I would have been disappointed. Harvester Island did not echo past experiences.

Sue, release your expectations.
Don’t let your past define your now.
That was hard.

As the week progressed, I found myself telling myself, Sue, be aware; be present. How is God meeting you? That early Holy Spirit guidance was the key to expectancy.

Expectancy is anticipation that rests with God.

The Fin Whales outside the windows of our classroom were the turning point that Tuesday. Our morning writing class finished and we were gathered around our professors who were sitting with their backs to the windows on those tall professor-ish stools. Our questions poured out. Suddenly Fin Whales – lots of them swimming on the surface of Uyak Bay. Along with my other new writing friends, I was facing the windows; and the whales caught our attention. They were letting out the breath they had been holding through those two blow holes on the top of their heads causing water to spout 30’ into the air. Our questions could wait.

The whales became our teachers. Expectancy.

Understanding was dawning.

Expectancy, being present, allowing God to lead.

In the midst of this Alaskan wilderness, in the midst of this writing workshop, in the midst of God’s amazing creation that Tuesday morning something bigger than writing was happening. I was learning worship.

“For his (God’s) invisible attributes … have been clearly perceived,
ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made.”
Romans 1:19

God prompted a second time – release my expectations and embrace expectancy.

After my week on Harvester Island, my writing will never be the same.
After my week on Harvester Island, my worship will never be the same.

I learned to embrace how God was leading.
I learned expectancy.

“The difference between waiting for our expectations to happen and waiting expectantly [with expectancy] for this moment to unfold is huge. Being present to what is; this is what matters. What is happening here and now is important. What goes on while I wait may become the foundation for some new undreamed of and unexpected future.”
Adele Calhoun, Invitations from God

“Expectancy is anticipation mingled with joy.”                                                                                                                                      Ruth Chou Simons

I wonder, is this not a good posture to assume as we come into Advent?
Might embracing expectancy look a bit like trust?

That early guidance – be aware, be present – was my key to expectancy. Expectancy rests with God; expectancy allows God to lead; expectancy is anticipation mingled with joy.

God, what would it look like to trust you today with ___________. God, help me to release my expectations for ____________ and embrace the expectancy of this Christmas season. Amen.

Expectation and expectancy have similar definitions. Embracing their nuances is embracing God.
And that has the potential to be transformational.

Expectancy, my word for 2022.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD,
plans for welfare and not for evil,
to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11

Copyright, Sue Tell, November 2021

This year there are six of us around our dining room table. Friendship, a wonderful gift from God. And the friendship of these couples blesses us.

You who are reading these words are friends too. I am so thankful for each of you. May your Thanksgiving be blessed.

Our family is spread far and wide. We’ll talk, perhaps zoom with them on Thanksgiving day. We are thankful for technology that even the youngest … well except for 19 month old Leah has learned to use.

Jack and Ashlyn are our teen GRANDS and live in Kansas, so close and yet so far. Judah, Naomi, Ezra, and Leah are all in South Carolina, an airplane trip away.

A special 2021 treat was sister Penny visiting with her family in May. Here we are touring the Glen Eyrie castle.

We also visited with Bill’s sister this fall in Minnesota.
This picture is from our 2019 visit.

Pictures of friends go on and and on and on. Friendship is a high value for me. You are important and I’m thankful for you. These are our Splendid Friends as we call ourselves. We have been getting together monthly for almost 20 years to share a meal and walk together into our grandparent years. Much to be thankful for. And sometimes we even travel together! On the left we’re in Estes Park.

Earlier this month I wrote about Marion, one of my older women. I miss her lots. And I’m thankful for these ladies too who by their lives and their vocation are always ministering to me. Leslie Leyland Fields (not older in age) led our time in Alaska. Her writing and her words mentor me in my writing.

And here are a few more friends we were blessed to cross paths with this fall in Illinois.

Copyright: sue tell, November 2021

Resting on the Foundation of His Love

God’s love is the springboard,
the beginning,
the basis,
the foundation,
the background of the tapestry,
the resting place for the theme.

When I rest on the foundation of His Love,
I trust,
I receive,
I gain perspective,
I am aware,
I breathe deeply,
There is wisdom.

“Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is illusion.” Brennan Manning

“God loves us just as we are … while he loves us into who we will become.” Ruth Chou Simons

Do you even believe I really love Jesus?
The question poured out in deep frustration that day; the reason has escaped me.
Of course I do. The answer, a gift from my husband accompanied by a hug. I melted.

God loved me through Bill in my big mess. I needed that assurance.

“See how very much our Father loves us,
for he calls us his children,
and that is what we are!”
I John 3:1 NLT

“You have been set apart as holy to the LORD you God,
and he has chosen you from all the nations of the earth
to be his own special treasure.”
Deuteronomy 14:2 NLT

“I have loved you with an everlasting love;”
Jeremiah 31:3 ESV

When I look in the mirror, God please give me the courage, the trusting, the humility to see your image displayed in me.  Amen.

During Advent, these words will be fleshed out.
Next Thursday, a Thanksgiving post.

Copyright, sue tell, November 2021